Matthew Chapter 27
As the morning rolled in, the top priests and elders were like, "Let’s scheme against Jesus to get rid of him."
When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death:
They tied him up and sent him over to Pontius Pilate, the governor dude.
And when they had bound him, they led {him} away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor.
Then Judas, who totally sold him out, peeped that he messed up and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, no cap.
Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
He was like, "I screwed up for betraying innocent blood." And they were like, "What’s it to us? You do you."
Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What {is that} to us? see thou {to that}.
He tossed the silver pieces in the temple, dipped out, and went to hang himself, straight savage.
And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.
The chief priests picked up the silver, saying, "We can’t stash this in the treasury; it’s blood money."
And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, It is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because it is the price of blood.
They plotted and bought a potter’s field to bury the outsiders in.
And they took counsel, and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in.
So that field got dubbed The field of blood, and it's still known like that today.
Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day.
Then what Jeremy the prophet said kicked in, stating, "They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of the one who was valued, which the people of Israel thought was worth."
Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying, And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him that was valued, whom they of the children of Israel did value; {whom...: or, whom they bought of the children of Israel}
And they used it for the potter’s field, just like the Lord told me to, periodt.
And gave them for the potter's field, as the Lord appointed me.
So Jesus is standing before the governor, and Pilate's like, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus is like, "You said it, fam."
And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest.
When the chief priests and elders came at him, he just stayed quiet, no cap.
And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing.
Pilate was like, "You hear all these peeps snitching on you?"
Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee?
But Jesus didn’t say anything, and Pilate was shook, fr.
And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly.
During that feast, the governor always let one prisoner go, whoever the crowd asked for, vibe check.
Now at {that} feast the governor was wont to release unto the people a prisoner, whom they would.
They had this notorious dude named Barabbas.
And they had then a notable prisoner, called Barabbas.
So when they all gathered, Pilate asked, "Who do you want me to release? Barabbas or Jesus, who they call Christ?"
Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ?
Pilate knew they were just jealous and threw him under the bus.
For he knew that for envy they had delivered him.
While he sat down to judge, his wife hit him up, saying, "Don’t mess with that righteous dude; I had a wild dream about him today."
When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.
But the chief priests and elders hyped the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to get Jesus out, that’s savage.
But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Barabbas, and destroy Jesus.
The governor was like, "Who do you want me to set free, Barabbas or the other dude?" They were all, "Barabbas, for sure."
The governor answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Barabbas.
Pilate asked, "So what should I do with Jesus, aka Christ?" They all yelled, "Crucify him, no cap!"
Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ? {They} all say unto him, Let him be crucified.
The governor was like, "What did he even do wrong?" But they just yelled louder, "Crucify him!"
And the governor said, Why, what evil hath he done? But they cried out the more, saying, Let him be crucified.
When Pilate saw the chaos was lit, he washed his hands in front of everyone and was like, "I’m not accountable for this guy’s blood, you do you."
When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but {that} rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed {his} hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye {to it}.
The crowd replied, "His blood is on us and our kids, periodt."
Then answered all the people, and said, His blood {be} on us, and on our children.
Then he let Barabbas go, and after giving Jesus a savage beatdown, he handed him over to be crucified.
Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered {him} to be crucified.
The governor's soldiers took Jesus to the squad room and gathered all their homies around him.
Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band {of soldiers}. {common hall: or, governor's house}
They stripped him down and tossed a red robe on him, just for vibes.
And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe.
Then they crafted a crown of thorns and placed it on his head, gave him a stick for a scepter, and bowed down laughing, saying, "What’s up, King of the Jews!"
And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put {it} upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews!
They spit on him and hit him on the head with the stick, just straight disrespectful.
And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head.
After they roasted him, they removed his drip and put his old fit back on, then led him away to get crucified.
And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify {him}.
As they rolled out, they found this dude Simon from Cyrene and made him carry the cross, no cap.
And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross.
When they hit up a spot called Golgotha, which literally means Skull Place, it was a vibe.
And when they were come unto a place called Golgotha, that is to say, a place of a skull,
They offered him some vinegar mixed with gall to drink, but when he tasted it, he was like, "Nah, I’m good."
They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall: and when he had tasted {thereof}, he would not drink.
They crucified him and divided his clothes, rolling dice to see who got what, just like the prophet said, "They divided my clothes among them."
And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots.
They just sat there, watching him like it was a whole show.
And sitting down they watched him there;
They put a sign above his head that said, "THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS."
And set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
Then they had two thieves getting crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left, straight savage.
Then were there two thieves crucified with him, one on the right hand, and another on the left.
Those who passed by were hating on him, shaking their heads like it was a whole mood.
And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads,
They were like, "You who destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you're really the Son of God, come down from that cross."
And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest {it} in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.
Meanwhile, the top priests were throwing shade at him, along with the scribes and elders, saying,
Likewise also the chief priests mocking {him}, with the scribes and elders, said,
"He saved others, but he can’t save himself? If he's the King of Israel, let him hop off that cross, and we’ll believe, no cap."
He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him.
"He trusted in God; let God save him now if He's really about that life, 'cause he said he's the Son of God."
He trusted in God; let him deliver him now, if he will have him: for he said, I am the Son of God.
The criminals getting crucified with him were also spitting the same insults.
The thieves also, which were crucified with him, cast the same in his teeth.
From noon, it got dark all over the land until about 3 PM, like a total vibe shift.
Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour.
Around 3 PM, Jesus shouted loud, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why you ghosting me?"
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Some peeps standing there heard him and were like, "Ayo, he’s calling for Elijah."
Some of them that stood there, when they heard {that}, said, This {man} calleth for Elias.
Right away, one of them ran, grabbed a sponge, soaked it in vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to him to sip.
And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled {it} with vinegar, and put {it} on a reed, and gave him to drink.
The others were like, "Chill, let’s see if Elijah shows up to save him."
The rest said, Let be, let us see whether Elias will come to save him.
Jesus, after crying out again with a loud voice, gave up the ghost.
Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.
And like, the temple curtain just ripped from top to bottom; the earth shook, and the rocks were like, "No cap, we’re breaking too."
And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;
And the graves popped open; a bunch of saints who were napping came back to life, fr.
And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,
They rolled out of the graves after Jesus bounced back, hit the holy city, and showed up to a lot of peeps.
And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.
So when the centurion and his crew saw the quake and all the wild stuff happening, they were shook, saying, "For real, this was the Son of God."
Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.
And a bunch of women were there, watching from a distance, who had been vibing with Jesus from Galilee, serving him.
And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him:
Among them was Mary Magdalene, Mary the mom of James and Joses, and the mom of Zebedee’s kids.
Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's children.
When evening hit, a rich dude from Arimathea named Joseph, who was also a disciple of Jesus, showed up.
When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathaea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus' disciple:
He went to Pilate and was like, "Yo, can I have Jesus’ body?" Then Pilate was like, "Bet, you can take it."
He went to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. Then Pilate commanded the body to be delivered.
After Joseph took the body, he wrapped it in a fresh linen cloth, no cap.
And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth,
And he laid it in his brand new tomb he carved out in the rock, then rolled a big stone in front of the entrance and dipped.
And laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock: and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.
And there was Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, just chilling by the tomb, vibing.
And there was Mary Magdalene, and the other Mary, sitting over against the sepulchre.
The day after, post prep day, the chief priests and Pharisees pulled up on Pilate, no cap.
Now the next day, that followed the day of the preparation, the chief priests and Pharisees came together unto Pilate,
They were like, "Yo, we remember that dude said while he was alive, ‘I’ll bounce back in three days.’"
Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.
So they told Pilate, "Make sure the tomb is locked down until day three, or else his crew might sneak in, steal him, and say he’s alive. That’d be savage."
Command therefore that the sepulchre be made sure until the third day, lest his disciples come by night, and steal him away, and say unto the people, He is risen from the dead: so the last error shall be worse than the first.
Pilate was like, "You got a guard: do your thing, make it as tight as you can."
Pilate said unto them, Ye have a watch: go your way, make {it} as sure as ye can.
So they dipped, secured the tomb, rolled the stone, and set up a watch, periodt.
So they went, and made the sepulchre sure, sealing the stone, and setting a watch.