Matthew Chapter 25
The kingdom of heaven's vibin' like ten girls who grabbed their lamps and dipped to meet the groom.
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
Five were lit, and five were straight up sus.
And five of them were wise, and five {were} foolish.
The sus ones took their lamps but forgot the oil, like, no cap.
They that {were} foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
Meanwhile, the wise ones brought oil in their vessels with their lamps, 'cause they were on point.
But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
While the groom was chillin', they all caught some Z's and fell asleep.
While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
Then at midnight, someone hollered, "Yo, the groom's here; let’s go meet him!"
And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
All the girls woke up and prepped their lamps.
Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
The sus ones were like, "Yo, share some of your oil; our lamps are totally out!"
And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. {gone out: or, going out}
But the wise ones hit back, "Nah fam, we can't share; go snag some for yourself."
But the wise answered, saying, {Not so}; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
While the sus ones were out buying, the groom showed up; the ones who were ready rolled in with him to the wedding, and the door was locked, no cap.
And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
Then the other virgins showed up, like, "Lord, Lord, let us in!"
Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
But he was like, "For real, I don’t even know you."
But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
So stay alert, 'cause you don’t know when the Son of Man is gonna roll up.
Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.
The kingdom of heaven is like a dude who bounced to a faraway spot, calling up his servants to manage his gig.
For {the kingdom of heaven is} as a man travelling into a far country, {who} called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
He gave one five talents, another two, and another one, all depending on their skills, then peaced out.
And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. {talents: a talent is one hundred and eighty seven pounds ten shillings}
The dude with five talents got to hustlin' and flipped them into five more.
Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made {them} other five talents.
The guy with two did the same and scored two extra.
And likewise he that {had received} two, he also gained other two.
But the one who received one just dug a hole and buried his lord’s cash, so sus.
But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.
After a hot minute, the lord came back to check on his servants.
After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
The dude with five talents came through with five more, saying, "Yo, you gave me five, and I lowkey doubled it!"
And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
His boss said, "Dope job, you solid and loyal homie! You’ve been great with a little, so I’ll hook you up with a lot: come vibe with me in the joy."
His lord said unto him, Well done, {thou} good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
Then the dude with two talents rolled in and said, "Yo, you gave me two talents, and guess what, I doubled that up!"
He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
His boss said, "Dope job, good and loyal homie; you’ve been great with a little, so I’ll hook you up with a lot: come vibe with me in the joy."
His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
Then the guy who got one talent showed up and said, "Yo, I knew you’re a tough dude, reaping where you didn’t sow and gathering where you didn’t plant."
Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
"I was low-key shook, so I hid your talent in the dirt: here’s what’s yours, no cap."
And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, {there} thou hast {that is} thine.
His boss replied, "You sus and lazy servant, you knew I reap where I didn’t plant and gather where I didn’t spread."
His lord answered and said unto him, {Thou} wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
"You should’ve at least dropped my cash with the money guys, so when I came back, I’d have my own with interest."
Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and {then} at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
"So take that talent from him and give it to the one with ten talents."
Take therefore the talent from him, and give {it} unto him which hath ten talents.
"For everyone who’s got will get more, and they’ll be living large; but from the one who has not, even what they do have will be taken away."
For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
"And toss that useless servant into the dark outside: it’s gonna be weeping and grinding teeth, fr."
And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
When the Son of Man shows up in all his glory, and all the holy angels are vibin' with him, he’s gonna chill on his throne like a boss.
When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
All the nations will gather 'round, and he’ll separate them like a shepherd splits his sheep from the goats, no cap.
And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth {his} sheep from the goats:
The sheep are gonna be on his right, and the goats are gonna be on the left, periodt.
And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
Then the King’s gonna say to those on his right, “Yo, you blessed ones, come through and inherit this kingdom that’s been prepped for you since day one.”
Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
I was starving, and you fed me; I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in, fr.
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
I was bare, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you came to check on me; I was locked up, and you visited me, that's real.
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Then the righteous are gonna ask, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and fed you? Or thirsty and gave you a drink?”
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed {thee}? or thirsty, and gave {thee} drink?
“When did we see you as a stranger and take you in? Or naked and hook you up with clothes?”
When saw we thee a stranger, and took {thee} in? or naked, and clothed {thee}?
“Or when did we see you sick or in prison and hit you up?”
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King’s gonna hit back, “For real, I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these my peeps, you did it for me, no cap.”
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done {it} unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done {it} unto me.
Then He’s gonna say to those on the left, “Bounce from me, you cursed crew, into that eternal fire made for the devil and his squad.
Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
I was starving, and you didn’t even share food: I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink, no cap.
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
I was a stranger, and you left me hanging: I was bare, and you didn’t hook me up with clothes: sick and locked up, and you didn’t check on me.
I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
Then they’ll hit Him back, saying, “Lord, when did we see you starving, thirsty, a stranger, naked, sick, or locked up, and didn’t help you?”
Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
He’s gonna reply, “For real, I’m telling you, whatever you didn’t do for the least of these, you didn’t do for me.”
Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did {it} not to one of the least of these, ye did {it} not to me.
And those peeps will dip into eternal punishment, but the good ones will roll into eternal life.
And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.