Matthew Chapter 23
So Jesus was like, "Yo, pay attention, fam!"
Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples,
He mentioned, "The scribes and Pharisees are posted in Moses' position."
Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat:
"So whatever they instruct you to do, do it; but don’t emulate them 'cause they talk the talk but don’t actually walk it, no cap."
All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, {that} observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.
"They lay heavy burdens on folks but won’t lift a finger to assist, that’s sus."
For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay {them} on men's shoulders; but they {themselves} will not move them with one of their fingers.
"They show off their deeds to impress, making their phylacteries huge and their outfits way more extra."
But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, {phylacteries: pieces of parchment containing sentences of the law}
"They’re all about that VIP lifestyle at gatherings and wanna chill at the top in the synagogues, fr."
And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,
"They live for shoutouts in the market and wanna be called Rabbi, like that’s the move."
And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.
"But don’t let anyone hit you with the Rabbi title; you’ve got one Master, Christ, and we’re all just homies."
But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, {even} Christ; and all ye are brethren.
"And don’t call anybody your father down here; you’ve got one Father, and He’s in heaven."
And call no {man} your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.
"And don’t let anyone call you masters; you’ve got one Master, Christ, periodt."
Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, {even} Christ.
But the real MVP among you will be the one serving everyone, fr.
But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
Anyone flexing too hard is gonna get checked; but if you keep it low-key, you’ll rise up, no cap.
And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
Yo, woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, straight-up fakes! You’re blocking the kingdom from peeps trying to slide in, and you ain't even entering yourselves.
But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in {yourselves}, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, straight-up fakes! You’re out here snatching widows' homes and pretending to be holy with long prayers: brace for some serious karma.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, straight-up fakes! You’ll travel far to convert a single soul, but then you make them twice as sus as you are.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
Woe to you, blind guides! You claim swearing by the temple is chill, but by the gold? That’s a whole debt drama!
Woe unto you, {ye} blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear by the temple, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor!
You fools and blind: what’s more lit, the gold or the temple that makes the gold sacred?
{Ye} fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?
And if you swear by the altar, it’s whatever; but swearing by the gift on it? Now you’re in trouble, no cap.
And, Whosoever shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whosoever sweareth by the gift that is upon it, he is guilty. {guilty: or, debtor, or, bound}
You fools and blind: what’s more lit, the gift or the altar that makes it special?
{Ye} fools and blind: for whether {is} greater, the gift, or the altar that sanctifieth the gift?
So if you swear by the altar, you’re swearing by it and everything on it, periodt.
Whoso therefore shall swear by the altar, sweareth by it, and by all things thereon.
If you swear by the temple, you’re basically swearing by it and the one who hangs there.
And whoso shall swear by the temple, sweareth by it, and by him that dwelleth therein.
If you swear by heaven, you’re swearing by God’s throne and the one chilling there.
And he that shall swear by heaven, sweareth by the throne of God, and by him that sitteth thereon.
Yo, scribes and Pharisees, you’re sus! You’re all about tithing mint and spices but totally ignore the major things like justice and mercy. Handle the big stuff, no cap!
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier {matters} of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. {anise: Gr. dill}
You blind guides, tripping over a gnat but swallowing a whole camel.
{Ye} blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup, but inside it’s just a hot mess.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
Yo, blind Pharisee, clean the inside of the cup first, then the outside will shine too.
{Thou} blind Pharisee, cleanse first that {which is} within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You look all nice outside like a tomb, but inside it’s just bones and bad vibes.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead {men's} bones, and of all uncleanness.
You also appear righteous to others, but inside you’re just filled with hypocrisy and bad energy.
Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You build up the graves of the prophets while flexing on the tombs of the righteous.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,
And you say, “If we were back in the day, we wouldn’t have rolled with our ancestors in the blood of the prophets.”
And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.
Y’all are the ones who lowkey know you’re the offspring of those who eliminated the prophets.
Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets.
So, just fill up the cup of your fam’s drama, no cap.
Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers.
Yo, snakes, how are you gonna dodge the flames down there?
{Ye} serpents, {ye} generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
So listen up, I’m sending you prophets, wise peeps, and writers: some of them you’ll eliminate and crucify; others you’ll roast in your hometown and chase around.
Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and {some} of them ye shall kill and crucify; and {some} of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute {them} from city to city:
All the righteous blood spilled on earth is coming for you, from Abel to Zacharias, whom you took out between the temple and the altar.
That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar.
For real, I’m telling you, all this is gonna hit this generation.
Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.
Oh Jerusalem, you who take out the prophets and throw rocks at those I send to you, I’ve wanted to gather your kids like a hen with her chicks, but you’re just not having it!
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, {thou} that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under {her} wings, and ye would not!
Peep this, your crib is left desolate, fam.
Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.
I’m telling you, you won't see me again until you say, “Blessed is he who shows up in the name of the Lord.”
For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed {is} he that cometh in the name of the Lord.