Matthew Chapter 16
The Pharisees and Sadducees rolled up, trying to get Jesus to flex a sign from heaven. So sus.
The Pharisees also with the Sadducees came, and tempting desired him that he would shew them a sign from heaven.
He was like, 'When it gets dark, you say it’s chill vibes ‘cause the sky’s red.'
He answered and said unto them, When it is evening, ye say, {It will be} fair weather: for the sky is red.
'And when morning hits, you’re all like, ‘It’s gonna be a rough one’ ‘cause the sky’s red and cloudy. Y’all are hypocrites; you can read the sky but can’t peep the signs of the times?'
And in the morning, {It will be} foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowring. O {ye} hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not {discern} the signs of the times?
'A wicked and shady generation is looking for a sign; only the sign of the prophet Jonas is coming through. Then he dipped.'
A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.
After his crew reached the other side, they straight-up forgot the bread.
And when his disciples were come to the other side, they had forgotten to take bread.
Jesus was like, 'Yo, be careful of the yeast from the Pharisees and Sadducees.'
Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
They were lowkey arguing, thinking it was ‘cause they forgot the bread.
And they reasoned among themselves, saying, {It is} because we have taken no bread.
Jesus caught the vibe and said, 'O ye of little faith, why y’all tripping over bread?'
{Which} when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?
'Don’t you get it yet? Remember the five loaves for the five thousand? How many baskets did you scoop up?'
Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
'And what about the seven loaves for the four thousand? How many baskets did you grab then?'
Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
'For real, how come you don’t understand? I wasn’t talking about bread, but be wary of the rizz from the Pharisees and Sadducees, fr.'
How is it that ye do not understand that I spake {it} not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees?
Then they finally caught on; he meant to watch the vibes from the Pharisees and Sadducees, not the bread, no cap.
Then understood they how that he bade {them} not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
When Jesus pulled up to Cesarea Philippi, he asked his crew, 'Who do people say I am, the Son of Man?'
When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?
They were like, 'Some say you’re John the Baptist, others say Elijah or Jeremiah, or one of the prophets, periodt.'
And they said, Some {say that thou art} John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.
Then he hit them with, 'But who do you say I am?'
He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?
Simon Peter came through and said, 'You’re the Christ, the Son of the living God, goated!'
And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.
Jesus replied, 'You’re blessed, Simon Bar-Jona; no human spilled the tea, but my Father in heaven did, lit.'
And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed {it} unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.
'And I’m telling you, you’re Peter, and on this rock, I’m building my church; the gates of hell can’t take it down, fr.'
And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. {Peter: this name signifies a rock}
'I’m handing you the keys to the kingdom of heaven; whatever you lock on earth is locked in heaven, and whatever you free is free, no cap.'
And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Then he told his squad not to spill the tea that he was Jesus the Christ, savage.
Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.
From that point on, Jesus was like, 'Yo, I gotta head to Jerusalem, suffer a ton from the elders and chief priests, get killed, and then bounce back on the third day. That's the vibe.'
From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.
Then Peter was like, 'Nah, fam, that’s not happening to you, Lord. No cap.'
Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. {Be...: Gr. Pity thyself}
But Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan. You’re a major vibe check for me; you ain’t thinking about God’s things, just human stuff.'
But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.
Then Jesus told his crew, 'If anyone wants to roll with me, they gotta deny themselves, pick up their cross, and follow me. Periodt.'
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any {man} will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
'For whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. That's lit.'
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
'What’s the point of a dude gaining the whole world but losing his soul? Like, what can you trade for your soul? Sus.'
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
'The Son of Man is gonna come in the glory of his Father with his angels, and he’ll reward everyone based on their actions. Goated.'
For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
'For real, some of you standing here won’t taste death until you see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom. That's bussin.'
Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.