Matthew Chapter 14
During that time, Herod the tetrarch caught wind of Jesus's influence,
At that time Herod the tetrarch heard of the fame of Jesus, {tetrarch: or, governor over four provinces}
and he was like, "This is John the Baptist; he’s back from the dead, and he’s pulling some wild moves."
And said unto his servants, This is John the Baptist; he is risen from the dead; and therefore mighty works do shew forth themselves in him. {do...: or, are wrought by him}
Herod had snatched John up and thrown him in jail, all because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife.
For Herod had laid hold on John, and bound him, and put {him} in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip's wife.
John called out, "You can't take her, that’s sus."
For John said unto him, It is not lawful for thee to have her.
When Herod thought about taking him out, he got shook by the crowd, 'cause they peeped him as a prophet.
And when he would have put him to death, he feared the multitude, because they counted him as a prophet.
But when Herod’s birthday party popped off, Herodias’s daughter danced for them, and Herod was totally vibin'.
But when Herod's birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them, and pleased Herod. {before...: Gr. in the midst}
He promised her anything she wanted right then and there.
Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask.
So she, coached by her mom, was like, "Yo, I want John the Baptist’s head on a platter."
And she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me here John Baptist's head in a charger.
The king was feeling bummed, but since he made a vow and didn’t want to look weak in front of his squad, he said to do it.
And the king was sorry: nevertheless for the oath's sake, and them which sat with him at meat, he commanded {it} to be given {her}.
He sent out and had John beheaded in the clink.
And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison.
Then they brought his head on a platter to the girl, and she delivered it to her mom. That was savage.
And his head was brought in a charger, and given to the damsel: and she brought {it} to her mother.
His crew came through, took the body, buried it, and then went to tell Jesus, no cap.
And his disciples came, and took up the body, and buried it, and went and told Jesus.
Once Jesus heard what happened, he dipped by boat to a chill spot in the wilderness, but the crowd followed him on foot from the towns.
When Jesus heard {of it}, he departed thence by ship into a desert place apart: and when the people had heard {thereof}, they followed him on foot out of the cities.
Jesus arrived, saw a massive crowd, felt serious compassion for them, and started healing the sick.
And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.
As evening rolled in, his crew came to him and said, "Yo, this place is a desert; it's getting late; send everyone away to grab some food."
And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
But Jesus was like, "Nah, they don’t need to bounce; just feed them."
But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
They responded, "We only got five loaves and two fish, fr."
And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
He replied, "Bring that over here."
He said, Bring them hither to me.
Then he told the crowd to chill on the grass, took the five loaves and two fish, looked up to heaven, blessed it, broke it, and passed it to his crew to give to the crowd.
And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to {his} disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
Everyone ate and was satisfied, and they picked up twelve baskets of leftovers.
And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
There were about five thousand guys who ate, not counting the women and kids.
And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.
Jesus told his disciples, "Yo, hop in the boat and cruise to the other side while I handle the crowd."
And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.
After sending everyone off, he climbed a mountain to pray, and when evening hit, he was all alone up there.
And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
But the boat was in the middle of the sea, getting tossed around 'cause the wind was being sus.
But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
During the fourth watch of the night, Jesus just walked on the sea to them, no cap.
And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
When the disciples saw him walking, they freaked out, thinking it was a ghost, scared AF.
And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
But Jesus was like, "Chill, it’s me; don’t be scared."
But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
Peter shouted, "Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come out on the water."
And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
Jesus said, "Come." So Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus.
And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
But when he realized the wind was wild, he got shook, started sinking, and yelled, "Lord, save me!"
But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. {boisterous: or, strong}
Jesus reached out, grabbed him, and was like, "Yo, why you doubting? You gotta have more rizz, my dude."
And immediately Jesus stretched forth {his} hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
Once they hopped in the boat, the wind was like, "I’m out," and just chillaxed.
And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
The crew in the boat came through and worshipped him, saying, "For real, you the Son of God."
Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
After they crossed over, they rolled up to the land of Gennesaret.
And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret.
When the locals heard about him, they spread the news everywhere and brought all the sick peeps to him; no cap.
And when the men of that place had knowledge of him, they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased;
They just wanted to touch the edge of his drip, and everyone who touched it got healed, periodt.
And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.