Mark Chapter 6
So he dipped from there and cruised back to his hometown; his crew followed him, no cap.
And he went out from thence, and came into his own country; and his disciples follow him.
On the Sabbath, he started dropping wisdom in the synagogue, and everyone was shook, like, "Where's this guy pulling all this knowledge and power from?"
And when the sabbath day was come, he began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing {him} were astonished, saying, From whence hath this {man} these things? and what wisdom {is} this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands?
Ain’t this just the carpenter, Mary’s son, and the bro of James, Joses, and Judas? And his sisters are chilling here too? They were low-key offended.
Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him. {offended: scandalized in, or, by him}
But Jesus was like, "A prophet gets no props in his own neighborhood, with his fam, or at home."
But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.
He couldn’t show off any major miracles there, just laid hands on a few sick folks and healed them, fr.
And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed {them}.
He was mind-blown by their lack of belief. Then he rolled through the villages, teaching.
And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching.
He gathered the twelve and started sending them out in pairs, giving them the juice to handle unclean spirits.
And he called {unto him} the twelve, and began to send them forth by two and two; and gave them power over unclean spirits;
And he told them to pack nothing for the journey, just a staff; no snacks, no dough, no bread, nada.
And commanded them that they should take nothing for {their} journey, save a staff only; no scrip, no bread, no money in {their} purse: {money: the word signifieth a piece of brass money, in value somewhat less than a farthing, but here it is taken in general for money}
Just wear some sandals and don’t bring an extra jacket, periodt.
But {be} shod with sandals; and not put on two coats.
He said, "Wherever you crash, stay there until you head out from that place."
And he said unto them, In what place soever ye enter into an house, there abide till ye depart from that place.
If they ain't vibing with you or listening, just shake the dust off your kicks as a sign against them. No cap, it’s gonna be easier for Sodom and Gomorrah on judgment day than for that city.
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when ye depart thence, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city. {and: Gr. or}
They bounced out and told everyone to repent, like, for real.
And they went out, and preached that men should repent.
They kicked a ton of demons out, slathered oil on the sick, and healed them. Straight up bussin'.
And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and healed {them}.
King Herod heard about him; his name was buzzing everywhere. He thought John the Baptist was back from the dead, and that’s why all the wild stuff was happening.
And king Herod heard {of him}; (for his name was spread abroad:) and he said, That John the Baptist was risen from the dead, and therefore mighty works do shew forth themselves in him.
Some were saying, "Yo, it’s Elijah!" Others were claiming he's a prophet or one of the prophets.
Others said, That it is Elias. And others said, That it is a prophet, or as one of the prophets.
But when Herod caught wind of the tea, he was like, "It’s John, the guy I had beheaded; he’s back from the dead."
But when Herod heard {thereof}, he said, It is John, whom I beheaded: he is risen from the dead.
Herod had already snatched John up and locked him away because of Herodias, his bro Philip's wifey: he had married her, no cap.
For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John, and bound him in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip's wife: for he had married her.
John told Herod straight up, "It’s not cool for you to have your brother’s wife."
For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother's wife.
So, Herodias was mad at him and wanted him gone, but she couldn’t pull it off.
Therefore Herodias had a quarrel against him, and would have killed him; but she could not: {a quarrel: or, an inward grudge}
Herod was lowkey scared of John, knowing he was a righteous dude, and he kept an eye on him; when he listened to him, he was all about it and even did a lot of what he said.
For Herod feared John, knowing that he was a just man and an holy, and observed him; and when he heard him, he did many things, and heard him gladly. {observed him: or, kept him, or, saved him}
So, it was Herod's b-day, and he threw this lit bash for all his high-ups in Galilee.
And when a convenient day was come, that Herod on his birthday made a supper to his lords, high captains, and chief {estates} of Galilee;
Then Herodias’ daughter rolled in, danced, and totally vibed with Herod and his crew, so he was like, "Ask me anything, and I got you."
And when the daughter of the said Herodias came in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give {it} thee.
He even swore, "Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you, even half my kingdom, no cap."
And he sware unto her, Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give {it} thee, unto the half of my kingdom.
She bounced out and asked her mom, "What should I ask for?" And her mom was like, "The head of John the Baptist, periodt."
And she went forth, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask? And she said, The head of John the Baptist.
She rushed back to the king and said, "I want the head of John the Baptist on a platter, like, right now."
And she came in straightway with haste unto the king, and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of John the Baptist.
The king was super bummed, but he couldn’t go back on his word in front of his guests, so he had to roll with it.
And the king was exceeding sorry; {yet} for his oath's sake, and for their sakes which sat with him, he would not reject her.
Right away, the king sent a guy to execute John, and he got beheaded in prison.
And immediately the king sent an executioner, and commanded his head to be brought: and he went and beheaded him in the prison, {an...: or, one of his guard}
They brought the head on a platter and gave it to the girl, and she took it to her mom.
And brought his head in a charger, and gave it to the damsel: and the damsel gave it to her mother.
When John’s disciples caught wind of the news, they came and picked up his body, laying it in a tomb.
And when his disciples heard {of it}, they came and took up his corpse, and laid it in a tomb.
The apostles gathered around Jesus and spilled all the tea on what they had done and taught.
And the apostles gathered themselves together unto Jesus, and told him all things, both what they had done, and what they had taught.
Jesus was like, "Yo, let’s bounce to a chill spot and vibe for a bit, 'cause it’s been nonstop and y’all haven’t even grabbed a snack."
And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.
So they dipped to a remote place by boat, just keeping it lowkey.
And they departed into a desert place by ship privately.
The crowd peeped them leaving, and a bunch of folks knew who he was, so they ran from all over to catch up.
And the people saw them departing, and many knew him, and ran afoot thither out of all cities, and outwent them, and came together unto him.
When Jesus stepped out, he saw a massive crowd and felt all the feels for them, 'cause they were lost like sheep without a squad: so he started dropping knowledge.
And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.
As the day was winding down, his crew came to him, saying, "This place is dead, and it’s way past snack time."
And when the day was now far spent, his disciples came unto him, and said, This is a desert place, and now the time {is} far passed:
They were like, "Just send them off to the nearby towns so they can grab some food, 'cause they’re starving."
Send them away, that they may go into the country round about, and into the villages, and buy themselves bread: for they have nothing to eat.
He hit them with, "Nah, you feed them." And they were like, "Should we really go buy two hundred bucks worth of bread for this crew?"
He answered and said unto them, Give ye them to eat. And they say unto him, Shall we go and buy two hundred pennyworth of bread, and give them to eat? {pennyworth: the Roman penny is sevenpence halfpenny}
He asked, "How many loaves you got? Go check." They came back, "Five loaves and two fish."
He saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? go and see. And when they knew, they say, Five, and two fishes.
Then he told them to have everyone chill on the green grass.
And he commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass.
So they settled down in groups, like hundreds and fifties, just vibing together.
And they sat down in ranks, by hundreds, and by fifties.
He grabbed five loaves and two fish, looked up to the sky, blessed it, broke the bread, and handed it to his crew to serve. The fish? He split it up for everyone, no cap.
And when he had taken the five loaves and the two fishes, he looked up to heaven, and blessed, and brake the loaves, and gave {them} to his disciples to set before them; and the two fishes divided he among them all.
They all feasted and were totally satisfied, vibes.
And they did all eat, and were filled.
They picked up twelve baskets of leftovers, straight up bussin.
And they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments, and of the fishes.
And like, around five thousand dudes munched on those loaves, no doubt.
And they that did eat of the loaves were about five thousand men.
Right after, he told his squad to hop in the boat and cruise to the other side before Bethsaida while he sent the crowd off, lit.
And straightway he constrained his disciples to get into the ship, and to go to the other side before unto Bethsaida, while he sent away the people. {unto...: or, over against Bethsaida}
After sending them away, he dipped to a mountain to pray, fr.
And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.
When evening hit, the boat was chilling in the middle of the sea, and he was solo on land.
And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land.
He peeped them struggling to row 'cause the wind was acting sus; around the fourth watch of the night, he walked on the sea to them, ready to pass by.
And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them.
But when they spotted him walking on the water, they thought he was a ghost and freaked out.
But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out:
They all saw him and were shook, but he was like, "Chill, it's me; don’t be scared," periodt.
For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
He hopped on the boat with them, and the wind chill just ghosted. They were shook, like, "What just happened?"
And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.
They totally missed the bread miracle, 'cause their hearts were lowkey hard as rocks.
For they considered not {the miracle} of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.
After crossing over, they hit up Gennesaret and pulled up to the shore.
And when they had passed over, they came into the land of Gennesaret, and drew to the shore.
As soon as they stepped off the boat, they recognized him, like, "OMG, it’s him!"
And when they were come out of the ship, straightway they knew him,
They sprinted through the whole area, grabbing beds for the sick peeps wherever they knew he was.
And ran through that whole region round about, and began to carry about in beds those that were sick, where they heard he was.
Wherever he went, whether villages or cities, they laid the sick in the streets, begging to just touch his clothes, and anyone who did got healed, fr.
And whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole. {touched him: or, touched it}