Mark Chapter 1
This is how the epic story of Jesus, the Son of God, kicks off, vibe check!
The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God;
The prophets dropped the line, "Yo, I’m sending my hype man ahead of you to get the scene lit."
As it is written in the prophets, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
A voice echoed from the wilderness, saying, "Get prepped for the Lord, straighten those paths, fr."
The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.
John was out there doing baptisms in the wild, preaching about flipping the script for forgiveness of sins, no cap.
John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. {for: or, unto}
People from Judea and Jerusalem came through to him, getting baptized in the Jordan and confessing their sins.
And there went out unto him all the land of Judaea, and they of Jerusalem, and were all baptized of him in the river of Jordan, confessing their sins.
John was decked out in camel hair and a leather belt, snacking on locusts and wild honey; total savage vibes.
And John was clothed with camel's hair, and with a girdle of a skin about his loins; and he did eat locusts and wild honey;
He was like, "There’s someone way more fire than me coming through, and I’m not even worthy to lace up his kicks."
And preached, saying, There cometh one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.
I’ve dunked you in water, but he’s about to bless you with the Holy Ghost, periodt.
I indeed have baptized you with water: but he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost.
Then Jesus pulled up from Nazareth in Galilee and got baptized by John in the Jordan, no cap.
And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of John in Jordan.
As he came up out of the water, he peeped the heavens parting, and the Spirit came down like a dove, lit!
And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him: {opened: or, cloven, or, rent}
A voice from heaven was like, "Yo, you’re my favorite Son, and I’m vibin’ with you."
And there came a voice from heaven, {saying}, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
Then the Spirit was like, "Let’s head to the wilderness."
And immediately the Spirit driveth him into the wilderness.
He was out there for forty days getting tempted by Satan, hanging with wild beasts, and angels serving him, no cap.
And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.
After John got locked up, Jesus cruised into Galilee, preaching that the kingdom of God is lit.
Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God,
He was like, "Time’s up, the kingdom’s here! Repent and believe the good news, periodt."
And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.
While chilling by the sea of Galilee, he spotted Simon and his brother Andrew tossing a net into the water because they were fishers.
Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
Jesus was like, "Pull up on me, and I’ll turn you into fishers of men."
And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
They dropped their nets on the spot and followed him, fr.
And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him.
A little further down, he saw James, Zebedee's son, and his brother John, fixing their nets on their boat.
And when he had gone a little further thence, he saw James the {son} of Zebedee, and John his brother, who also were in the ship mending their nets.
He called them, and they bounced, leaving their dad Zebedee with the hired hands to follow him.
And straightway he called them: and they left their father Zebedee in the ship with the hired servants, and went after him.
They rolled into Capernaum, and right away on the Sabbath, He hit the synagogue and started teaching.
And they went into Capernaum; and straightway on the sabbath day he entered into the synagogue, and taught.
Everyone was shook by His teachings; He flexed authority like a boss, way different from the scribes.
And they were astonished at his doctrine: for he taught them as one that had authority, and not as the scribes.
Inside the synagogue, there was a dude with a sus spirit who yelled out,
And there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit; and he cried out,
"Leave us alone; what’s your deal, Jesus from Nazareth? You here to mess us up? I know who you are, the Holy One of God."
Saying, Let {us} alone; what have we to do with thee, thou Jesus of Nazareth? art thou come to destroy us? I know thee who thou art, the Holy One of God.
Jesus clapped back, saying, "Chill out and get outta him."
And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.
The unclean spirit caused a ruckus, then bounced out with a loud shout.
And when the unclean spirit had torn him, and cried with a loud voice, he came out of him.
Everyone was totally amazed, asking each other, "What’s this? What’s this new vibe? He even commands unclean spirits, and they listen!"
And they were all amazed, insomuch that they questioned among themselves, saying, What thing is this? what new doctrine {is} this? for with authority commandeth he even the unclean spirits, and they do obey him.
Instantly, His rep spread all over the region around Galilee.
And immediately his fame spread abroad throughout all the region round about Galilee.
Right after they left the synagogue, they went over to Simon and Andrew’s place, with James and John tagging along.
And forthwith, when they were come out of the synagogue, they entered into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John.
But Simon’s mother-in-law was sick with a fever, and they told Him about her, like, ASAP.
But Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever, and anon they tell him of her.
He showed up, took her hand, and lifted her like, "You good now?" Fever dipped, and she was vibing with them.
And he came and took her by the hand, and lifted her up; and immediately the fever left her, and she ministered unto them.
When the sun went down, they brought all the sick people and those with that sus energy.
And at even, when the sun did set, they brought unto him all that were diseased, and them that were possessed with devils.
The whole city was outside, just chilling at the door.
And all the city was gathered together at the door.
He healed a bunch of sick peeps and sent those devils packing, not letting them spill any tea 'cause they knew what was up.
And he healed many that were sick of divers diseases, and cast out many devils; and suffered not the devils to speak, because they knew him. {to speak...: or, to say that they knew him}
Early morning vibes, he dipped to a quiet spot to pray and just vibe out.
And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.
Simon and the crew were like, "We gotta find this guy!" and tracked him down.
And Simon and they that were with him followed after him.
When they found him, they were like, "Everyone's looking for you, no cap!"
And when they had found him, they said unto him, All {men} seek for thee.
He was like, "Bet, let’s hit up the next towns so I can preach there too. That's my mission."
And he said unto them, Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also: for therefore came I forth.
He was out here preaching in their synagogues all over Galilee and sending devils back home.
And he preached in their synagogues throughout all Galilee, and cast out devils.
A leper came up to him, begging and kneeling, saying, "If you want to, you can totally make me clean."
And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
Jesus felt the vibes and reached out, saying, "I gotchu; be clean, no cap."
And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth {his} hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean.
As soon as he dropped that, the leprosy just vanished, and dude was all clean, fr.
And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.
He told him to chill and sent him off, saying, "Go do your thing."
And he straitly charged him, and forthwith sent him away;
Jesus was like, "Don’t spill the tea to anyone, just hit up the priest and show you’re clean, like Moses said, periodt."
And saith unto him, See thou say nothing to any man: but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer for thy cleansing those things which Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.
But dude bounced and started spreading the word everywhere, so much that Jesus couldn’t even roll into the city anymore; he was out in the desert and people were coming to him from all directions.
But he went out, and began to publish {it} much, and to blaze abroad the matter, insomuch that Jesus could no more openly enter into the city, but was without in desert places: and they came to him from every quarter.