Luke Chapter 23
The entire crew stood up and brought him to Pilate, no cap.
And the whole multitude of them arose, and led him unto Pilate.
They started throwing some serious shade, saying, "This guy's disrupting the nation and telling folks to skip paying taxes to Caesar, claiming he's the King, fr."
And they began to accuse him, saying, We found this {fellow} perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Caesar, saying that he himself is Christ a King.
Pilate was like, "So, are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus replied, "You got it, fam."
And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest {it}.
Pilate told the top priests and the squad, "I don’t see any fault in this dude, periodt."
Then said Pilate to the chief priests and {to} the people, I find no fault in this man.
But they went even harder, saying, "He’s riling up the people, teaching all over Judea, starting from Galilee and coming here."
And they were the more fierce, saying, He stirreth up the people, teaching throughout all Jewry, beginning from Galilee to this place.
When Pilate heard about "Galilee," he was like, "Is this dude from there?"
When Pilate heard of Galilee, he asked whether the man were a Galilaean.
As soon as he learned Jesus was under Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who happened to be in Jerusalem at that time.
And as soon as he knew that he belonged unto Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who himself also was at Jerusalem at that time.
Herod was lit when he saw Jesus; he had been wanting to check him out for a minute because he had heard so much and wanted to witness some dope miracle.
And when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to see him of a long {season}, because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him.
He started bombarding him with questions, but Jesus just stayed mute, no rizz.
Then he questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing.
The chief priests and scribes were out there, going hard, accusing him like it was all a vibe.
And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him.
Herod and his squad were straight dissing him, making jokes, and draped him in a fresh robe before sending him back to Pilate.
And Herod with his men of war set him at nought, and mocked {him}, and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate.
On that same day, Pilate and Herod became pals, since they were lowkey beefing before.
And the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends together: for before they were at enmity between themselves.
Pilate gathered the main priests, rulers, and the squad for a huddle.
And Pilate, when he had called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people,
He said, "You brought this dude to me like he’s causing chaos, but for real, I’ve looked into it and found nothing to back what you’re saying."
Said unto them, Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people: and, behold, I, having examined {him} before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him:
Even Herod didn’t find anything on him; I sent him over, and nothing he did deserves the death penalty.
No, nor yet Herod: for I sent you to him; and, lo, nothing worthy of death is done unto him.
So I’m just gonna give him a little smackdown and let him off the hook.
I will therefore chastise him, and release {him}.
(He had to let one dude go during the feast, no cap.)
(For of necessity he must release one unto them at the feast.)
Everybody started yelling at once, "Get rid of this dude and free Barabbas!"
And they cried out all at once, saying, Away with this {man}, and release unto us Barabbas:
(Barabbas was locked up for causing chaos and murder, just saying.)
(Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.)
Pilate, wanting to release Jesus, tried to reason with them again.
Pilate therefore, willing to release Jesus, spake again to them.
They were all like, "Crucify him, crucify him," no cap.
But they cried, saying, Crucify {him}, crucify him.
He asked them again, "Why though? What’s the issue? I haven’t found anything to send him off. I’ll just give him a little timeout and let him bounce."
And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let {him} go.
They kept shouting louder, demanding his crucifixion. The crowd and the priests were overpowering.
And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be crucified. And the voices of them and of the chief priests prevailed.
Pilate was like, "Aight, do what you gotta do."
And Pilate gave sentence that it should be as they required. {gave...: or, assented}
He let go of the dude who was in jail for chaos and murder, the one they wanted; but he gave Jesus up to their vibes.
And he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison, whom they had desired; but he delivered Jesus to their will.
As they took him away, they snagged this dude Simon from Cyrene, who was just chillin’, and made him carry the cross after Jesus.
And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Simon, a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear {it} after Jesus.
A big crew of people was following him, including women who were crying and really feeling it.
And there followed him a great company of people, and of women, which also bewailed and lamented him.
Jesus turned to them and said, "Yo, Daughters of Jerusalem, don’t cry for me, cry for yourselves and your kids."
But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children.
'Cause for real, days are coming when people will be like, "Blessed are those who never had kids, and the ones who never nursed."
For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed {are} the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.
Then they’ll be saying to the mountains, "Fall on us!" and to the hills, "Cover us!"
Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us.
If they’re doing this mess when things are chill, what’s gonna happen when it gets rough?
For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?
And there were two other dudes, straight-up criminals, being led to be executed with him.
And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to death.
When they hit the spot called Calvary, they nailed him up, and the criminals were one on the right and one on the left.
And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. {Calvary: or, The place of a skull}
Then Jesus was like, "Yo, Dad, forgive them; they don’t even know what’s going on." They divided up his clothes and rolled dice for them.
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
The crowd was just watching. And the leaders were throwing shade at him, saying, "He saved others; let’s see if he can save himself if he’s really the GOAT."
And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also with them derided {him}, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he be Christ, the chosen of God.
The soldiers were also roasting him, coming up and offering him vinegar, like, "This is all we got."
And the soldiers also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him vinegar,
They were like, "If you’re the king of the Jews, save yourself, fam."
And saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself.
They even put a sign above him in Greek, Latin, and Hebrew that said, "THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS."
And a superscription also was written over him in letters of Greek, and Latin, and Hebrew, THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
One of the criminals hanging there was like, "If you’re the Christ, save yourself and us too."
And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.
But the other criminal was like, "Bro, don’t you fear God? We’re in the same boat here."
But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
We totally deserve this; we’re just getting what we earned. But this dude did nothing wrong, fr.
And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.
He’s like, "Yo Jesus, remember me when you pop off in your kingdom."
And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
Jesus replied, "For real, today you and me are vibing in paradise."
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
It was around six o'clock, and everything went dark until nine. Super sus vibes.
And it was about the sixth hour, and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. {earth: or, land}
The sun was like, "Nah," and the temple curtain ripped right down the middle.
And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst.
When Jesus yelled out loud, he said, "Dad, I’m handing my spirit to you," and then he was out.
And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.
The centurion saw what went down and was like, "This guy was definitely legit."
Now when the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying, Certainly this was a righteous man.
Everyone who showed up to watch was shook, beating their chests and heading home.
And all the people that came together to that sight, beholding the things which were done, smote their breasts, and returned.
All his friends and the ladies from Galilee were standing back, just taking it all in.
And all his acquaintance, and the women that followed him from Galilee, stood afar off, beholding these things.
And check it, there was this dude named Joseph, a counselor; he was a solid guy, no cap.
And, behold, {there was} a man named Joseph, a counsellor; {and he was} a good man, and a just:
This dude wasn’t into their drama; he was from Arimathea, a Jewish city, just waiting for the kingdom of God to drop.
(The same had not consented to the counsel and deed of them;) {he was} of Arimathaea, a city of the Jews: who also himself waited for the kingdom of God.
So he rolled up to Pilate, asking for Jesus' body like, "Yo, let me get that."
This {man} went unto Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus.
He took it down, wrapped it in linen, and laid it in this dope stone tomb that no one had ever chilled in before.
And he took it down, and wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a sepulchre that was hewn in stone, wherein never man before was laid.
That day was all about getting ready, and the Sabbath was coming in hot.
And that day was the preparation, and the sabbath drew on.
The women who came with him from Galilee were vibing behind, checking out the tomb and how his body was laid down.
And the women also, which came with him from Galilee, followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how his body was laid.
They bounced back, prepped some spices and ointments, then kicked it on the Sabbath, keeping it real with the commandment.
And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day according to the commandment.