Luke Chapter 2
So, way back when, Caesar Augustus put out a decree that everyone had to cough up some cash.
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. {taxed: or, enrolled}
(This whole tax situation kicked off when Cyrenius was running things in Syria.)
({And} this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
Everyone had to hit up their hometowns for the tax grind, no cap.
And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. {taxed: or, enrolled}
Joseph bounced from Galilee, leaving Nazareth behind, and rolled to Judea, to the city of David, also known as Bethlehem, since he was from the fam of David.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
He was there to get taxed along with his fiancée Mary, who was super pregnant.
To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. {taxed: or, enrolled}
While they were hanging there, it was time for her to deliver that baby.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
She had her firstborn son, wrapped him all snug, and laid him down in a manger 'cause there wasn’t any room at the inn.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
Meanwhile, some shepherds were out in the fields, keeping it lit while watching their sheep at night.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. {watch: or, the night watches}
Then, bam, an angel popped up, and the glory of the Lord was all around them, and they were shook.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
The angel said, "Chill, don’t be scared! I’ve got some dope news that’s gonna bring mad joy to everyone."
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
Check it, today in the city of David, a Savior just dropped, and that’s Christ, the ultimate vibe.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
Here’s the scoop: you’ll find the baby all wrapped up, chilling in a manger.
And this {shall be} a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
Suddenly, an angel squad appeared, praising God and vibing hard.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Major glory to God up high, and on Earth, we're keeping it all about peace and good vibes for everyone.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Once the angels bounced back to heaven, the shepherds were like, "Bet, let’s head to Bethlehem and see what’s popping."
And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. {the shepherds: Gr. the men the shepherds}
They cruised over and found Mary, Joseph, and the baby just chilling in the manger.
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
After they peeped it, they couldn’t keep it to themselves and spread the word about this child.
And when they had seen {it}, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.
Everyone who heard it was shook by what the shepherds were saying.
And all they that heard {it} wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary was just vibing, keeping all these thoughts close and pondering them hard.
But Mary kept all these things, and pondered {them} in her heart.
The shepherds bounced back, hyped and praising God for everything they’d heard and seen, just as it was told to them.
And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.
After eight days, it was time to get the kid circumcised, and they named him JESUS, just like the angel said before he even dropped.
And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before he was conceived in the womb.
Once her purification days wrapped up, they rolled over to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord;
And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present {him} to the Lord;
(As per the law, every dude that opens the womb is considered holy to the Lord;)
(As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)
And to offer a sacrifice, just like the law says, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons, no cap.
And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.
And, for real, there was this dude in Jerusalem named Simeon; he was righteous and waiting for Israel's glow-up, and the Holy Ghost was vibing with him.
And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name {was} Simeon; and the same man {was} just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.
The Holy Ghost spilled the tea that he wouldn’t meet death before seeing the Lord's Christ.
And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord's Christ.
He showed up at the temple by the Spirit, and when the parents brought in Jesus to do their thing,
And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,
He scooped him up in his arms, blessed God, and said,
Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,
Lord, now I can roll in peace, just like you said;
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:
‘Cause my eyes have peeped your salvation, fr.
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
You crafted this in front of everyone, no cap;
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
A vibe to shine for the Gentiles, and the glory of your crew, Israel.
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.
Joseph and his mom were like, "Whoa," at all the things being said about him.
And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.
Simeon blessed them, told Mary, "Yo, this kid's gonna make waves in Israel; he's a sign that’s gonna bring some haters."
And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this {child} is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;
(For real, a sword's gonna pierce your soul too,) so that the thoughts of many hearts can come out.
(Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.
There was a prophetess, Anna, daughter of Phanuel, from the Aser tribe: she was ancient and had been married for seven years since she was a virgin;
And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;
And she was a widow for like 84 years, never leaving the temple, just vibing with God through fasting and prayers day and night.
And she {was} a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served {God} with fastings and prayers night and day.
She rolled in at that moment, thanked the Lord, and told everyone looking for redemption in Jerusalem about him.
And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem. {Jerusalem: or, Israel}
After they did everything according to the Lord's law, they headed back to Galilee, to their hometown Nazareth.
And when they had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned into Galilee, to their own city Nazareth.
The kid grew up, got strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and God's grace was seriously on him.
And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.
So, his fam bounced to Jerusalem every year for the Passover vibes.
Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.
When he hit twelve, they went up to Jerusalem for the feast, no cap.
And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
After they wrapped up the festivities, Jesus was chilling in Jerusalem, and his parents had no clue.
And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not {of it}.
They thought he was rolling with the squad, so they bounced a day's journey, looking for him among fam and friends.
But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among {their} kinsfolk and acquaintance.
When they couldn’t spot him, they headed back to Jerusalem to search for him, fr.
And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
After three days, they found him in the temple, vibing with the teachers, listening and asking questions.
And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.
Everyone who heard him was shook by his smarts and answers.
And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.
When they saw him, they were like, "Whoa!" and his mom was all, "Why you gotta do us like this? We’ve been worried sick!"
And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.
He was like, "Why were you on the hunt for me? Didn’t you know I gotta be about my Father’s business?"
And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
They just didn’t get the vibe of what he was saying, periodt.
And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.
He rolled with them back to Nazareth and was lowkey obedient, but his mom was out here keeping all that info on lock in her heart.
And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.
Jesus leveled up in wisdom and growth, gaining mad respect from God and the people.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. {stature: or, age}