Luke Chapter 1
So a crew of peeps decided to piece together a fresh summary of what we all vibe with, fr.
Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us,
They passed it down to us straight from the jump, like OGs who were in the mix and knew the truth.
Even as they delivered them unto us, which from the beginning were eyewitnesses, and ministers of the word;
I thought it was dope to write you this well-structured account, my dude Theophilus, since I got all the scoop right from the start.
It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee in order, most excellent Theophilus,
Just tryna make sure you’re 100% clear on the stuff you’ve been schooled on, no cap.
That thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed.
Way back in the day during King Herod's reign in Judea, there was this priest named Zacharias, and his wifey was Elisabeth, a total rizz queen from Aaron's squad.
There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife {was} of the daughters of Aaron, and her name {was} Elisabeth.
Both of them were straight-up righteous in God’s eyes, following all the rules and totally unblemished.
And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
But they didn’t have any kids, 'cause Elisabeth was unable to conceive, and they were getting up there in years, for real.
And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were {now} well stricken in years.
One day, while he was doing his priest duties in the temple, serving God like a boss,
And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest's office before God in the order of his course,
He got chosen to burn incense, a total vibe while he entered the Lord’s temple.
According to the custom of the priest's office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
All the peeps outside were praying hard while the incense was burning.
And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense.
An angel of the Lord rolled up on the right side of the incense altar, no cap.
And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
Zacharias saw him and was like, "This is hella sus," and fear hit him hard.
And when Zacharias saw {him}, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
But the angel was like, "Chill, Zacharias! Your prayers have been heard. Your wife Elisabeth is about to have a son, and you’re naming him John, periodt."
But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.
You’re gonna be hyped with joy; a whole lot of folks are gonna be excited about his birth.
And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth.
He’s gonna be a big deal to the Lord, won’t be sippin’ wine or strong drinks, and he'll be full of the Holy Spirit from the start.
For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb.
He’s gonna bring a bunch of Israel’s kids back to their God, fr.
And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.
He’ll roll out before the Lord in the spirit and power of Elias, reconnecting dads to their kids and making the disobedient wise, preparing a squad for the Lord.
And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. {to the wisdom: or, by the wisdom}
Zacharias asked the angel, "How am I supposed to know this? I’m old, and my wifey’s not exactly young."
And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.
The angel replied, "I’m Gabriel, chilling in the presence of God; I’ve been sent to drop this good news on you."
And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings.
And just so you know, you’re gonna be mute until these things go down because you didn’t vibe with my words, which are gonna happen in their time.
And, behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season.
The squad was waiting for Zacharias, shook that he was in the temple for a hot minute.
And the people waited for Zacharias, and marvelled that he tarried so long in the temple.
When he finally bounced, dude couldn’t even talk. They thought he had seen a vision in the temple 'cause he was just there vibin’ and speechless.
And when he came out, he could not speak unto them: and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple: for he beckoned unto them, and remained speechless.
After finishing his service, he dipped back home.
And it came to pass, that, as soon as the days of his ministration were accomplished, he departed to his own house.
Then, after a bit, his wifey Elisabeth got pregnant and kept it low-key for five months, saying,
And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, saying,
"This is how the Lord came through for me, taking away my shame in front of everyone, no cap."
Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on {me}, to take away my reproach among men.
In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth,
And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
To a girl who was engaged to a dude named Joseph from David’s crew; her name was Mary.
To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name {was} Mary.
The angel showed up to her and said, "Yo, you’re super blessed, the Lord's got your back: you’re fire among women."
And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, {thou that art} highly favoured, the Lord {is} with thee: blessed {art} thou among women. {highly...: or, graciously accepted, or, of much grace}
When she peeped him, she was like, "Wait, what?" and was puzzled about this greeting.
And when she saw {him}, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
The angel proceeded, "Chill, Mary: you’re favored by God, for real."
And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
Yo, you gonna have a baby, and you have to name him JESUS. That’s lit.
And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
He’s gonna be legendary, called the Son of the Highest, and God’s gonna hook him up with David’s throne.
He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
He’ll be ruling the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom? No cap, it’s never gonna end.
And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
Then Mary was like, "How’s this gonna happen? I don’t even know a dude."
Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
The angel said, "Chill, the Holy Spirit is gonna vibe with you, and that holy baby gonna be the Son of God."
And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
And, check it, your cousin Elisabeth also just got pregnant at her age, and she’s six months in, even though she was thought to be barren.
And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.
For real, with God, nothing's impossible.
For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Mary said, "I’m down to be the Lord’s servant; let it be just like you said." Then the angel dipped.
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
Mary bounced out and rushed to the hill country, hitting up a city in Judea.
And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda;
She walked into Zacharias’ crib and said what’s up to Elisabeth.
And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.
When Elisabeth heard Mary shout out, the baby inside her was like, "Let’s go!" and she got filled with the Holy Spirit, no cap.
And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:
She straight up yelled, "You’re blessed among all the girls, and your baby is blessed too, periodt."
And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed {art} thou among women, and blessed {is} the fruit of thy womb.
"Why am I so lucky that the mom of my Lord is here to see me?"
And whence {is} this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
"As soon as I heard your voice, the baby in my womb started vibing with joy!"
For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.
"And blessed is she who believed; what the Lord said is about to pop off!"
And blessed {is} she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. {that...: or, which believed that there}
Mary was like, "My soul is all about magnifying the Lord, fr."
And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
"And my spirit is hyped about God, my Savior."
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
"He noticed me, the low-key servant; from now on, everyone’s gonna call me blessed."
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
"The one who's mighty has done epic things for me; holy is his name, for real."
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy {is} his name.
"His mercy hits different for those who fear him, from generation to generation."
And his mercy {is} on them that fear him from generation to generation.
God flexed his strength and scattered the proud vibes right outta their heads.
He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He took down the powerful from their thrones and lifted up the low-key peeps.
He hath put down the mighty from {their} seats, and exalted them of low degree.
He hooked up the hungry with good stuff; the rich? They left empty, no cap.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He showed love to His homie Israel, keeping it 100 with His mercy.
He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of {his} mercy;
Just like He promised our ancestors, Abraham and his crew, for real forever.
As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.
Mary chilled with her for about three months, then bounced back home.
And Mary abode with her about three months, and returned to her own house.
When Elisabeth's time came, she popped out a son, lit moment.
Now Elisabeth's full time came that she should be delivered; and she brought forth a son.
Her neighbors and fam heard about the mad mercy from the Lord and were vibing with her.
And her neighbours and her cousins heard how the Lord had shewed great mercy upon her; and they rejoiced with her.
On the eighth day, they rolled up to circumcise the kid and wanted to name him Zacharias, just like his dad.
And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called him Zacharias, after the name of his father.
His mom was like, "Nah fam, he’s gonna be called John."
And his mother answered and said, Not {so}; but he shall be called John.
They were like, "None of your fam is rollin' with that name, fr."
And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.
They started signaling to his dad, asking how he wanted to name him.
And they made signs to his father, how he would have him called.
He grabbed a tablet and wrote, "His name is John." Everyone was shook.
And he asked for a writing table, and wrote, saying, His name is John. And they marvelled all.
His mouth opened right away, tongue was loose, and he started praising God, no cap.
And his mouth was opened immediately, and his tongue {loosed}, and he spake, and praised God.
Fear hit everyone nearby, and all this tea spread through the hills of Judea.
And fear came on all that dwelt round about them: and all these sayings were noised abroad throughout all the hill country of Judaea. {sayings: or, things}
Those who heard were like, "What kind of legend is this kid gonna be?" The Lord's hand was on him, periodt.
And all they that heard {them} laid {them} up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him.
His dad Zacharias got filled with the Holy Spirit and started prophesying, lit.
And his father Zacharias was filled with the Holy Ghost, and prophesied, saying,
Big ups to the Lord God of Israel; He came through and saved His people, no doubt.
Blessed {be} the Lord God of Israel; for he hath visited and redeemed his people,
He raised up a total vibe of salvation for us in David's crib, goated.
And hath raised up an horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David;
Just like He said through His holy prophets since day one, fr.
As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began:
We gotta be saved from our haters and all the sus vibes around us;
That we should be saved from our enemies, and from the hand of all that hate us;
To show mad mercy promised to our fam and keep it 100 with His holy covenant;
To perform the mercy {promised} to our fathers, and to remember his holy covenant;
The oath he made to our dude Abraham,
The oath which he sware to our father Abraham,
So we can be free from our enemies and serve him with no cap;
That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear,
In holiness and rizz before him, all our days on this earth.
In holiness and righteousness before him, all the days of our life.
And you, kid, gonna be called the prophet of the Highest: you’ll go before the Lord and prep the way;
And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest: for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways;
To drop knowledge of salvation to his peeps by wiping their sins clean,
To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins, {by: or, for}
Through the chill mercy of our God; the daybreak from above has shown up for us,
Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, {tender...: or, bowels of the mercy} {dayspring: or, sunrising, or, branch}
To shine light on those in the dark and the shadow of death, guiding our steps to peace.
To give light to them that sit in darkness and {in} the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.
And the kid grew, got strong in spirit, and was out in the wild until it was time to show up to Israel.
And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his shewing unto Israel.