Luke Chapter 11
So one day he was praying, and a disciple was like, "Yo, teach us how to pray just like John did with his people."
And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.
He replied, "When you pray, say, 'Our Father in heaven, your name is fire. Bring your kingdom and let your will go off on Earth like it does in heaven.'"
And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.
"Hook us up with our daily bread, for real."
Give us day by day our daily bread. {day by day: or, for the day}
"And forgive us our wrongs, 'cause we also forgive those in debt to us. Don't lead us into temptation, but save us from the bad vibes."
And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
He asked, "Which of you has a friend and goes to him at midnight, saying, 'Yo, can I grab three loaves?'
And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;
"'Cause a buddy of mine just dropped by, and I got nothing to give him.'"
For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? {in...: or, out of his way}
"And from inside, he’s gonna be like, 'Chill, the door's locked, and the kids are in bed; I can't get up to help you.'"
And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee.
"But I’m telling you, even if he won’t get up just 'cause they're friends, he’ll still get up and give him what he needs 'cause he won’t stop asking."
I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
"So I’m saying, ask, and you’ll receive it; seek, and you’ll find; knock, and the door will be opened for you."
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
"For everyone who asks gets, and whoever seeks finds, and to whoever knocks, it’ll be opened."
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
If a dad gets asked for bread, he ain't giving a stone, right? And if he’s asked for fish, he’s not handing over a snake, for real.
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if {he ask} a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
If he asks for an egg, you think he’s gonna give a scorpion? That's sus.
Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? {offer: Gr. give}
If you, being kinda sus, know how to give solid stuff to your kids, how much more will your heavenly Father gift the Holy Spirit to those who ask?
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall {your} heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
So, he was casting out a mute demon. When the demon bounced, the mute started talking, and everyone was shook.
And he was casting out a devil, and it was dumb. And it came to pass, when the devil was gone out, the dumb spake; and the people wondered.
But some peeps were like, "He’s casting out demons with Beelzebub, the head boss of demons."
But some of them said, He casteth out devils through Beelzebub the chief of the devils. {Beelzebub: Gr. Beelzebul}
Others were testing him, looking for a sign from heaven, like, what’s the vibe?
And others, tempting {him}, sought of him a sign from heaven.
But he, knowing their thoughts, was like, "Every kingdom that’s divided is doomed; a house divided falls apart, no cap."
But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house {divided} against a house falleth.
If Satan is tripping against himself, how’s his kingdom gonna last? Y’all say I’m casting out demons with Beelzebub.
If Satan also be divided against himself, how shall his kingdom stand? because ye say that I cast out devils through Beelzebub.
And if I’m casting out demons with Beelzebub, who’s your squad casting them out? They’re gonna be your judges, fr.
And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your sons cast {them} out? therefore shall they be your judges.
But if I’m casting out demons with the finger of God, no doubt the kingdom of God is right here with you, lit.
But if I with the finger of God cast out devils, no doubt the kingdom of God is come upon you.
When a strong dude's got his palace locked down, his stuff is chillin', no cap.
When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace:
But when someone way stronger shows up and takes him down, he snatches all his gear and splits the loot, fr.
But when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armour wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils.
If you're not vibing with me, you're lowkey against me; if you ain't stacking with me, you're just scattering.
He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.
When a bad spirit bounces outta someone, it roams dry places looking for a chill spot; when it can't find one, it’s like, "Bet, I’m going back home."
When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he saith, I will return unto my house whence I came out.
And when it shows up, it sees the place all cleaned and looking fresh.
And when he cometh, he findeth {it} swept and garnished.
Then it goes and gets seven other even more sus spirits, and they crash the party; the end game for that dude is way worse than the start.
Then goeth he, and taketh {to him} seven other spirits more wicked than himself; and they enter in, and dwell there: and the last {state} of that man is worse than the first.
While he was saying all this, a woman in the crowd shouted, "Blessed is the womb that carried you and the milk that fed you!"
And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed {is} the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked.
But he was like, "Nah, for real, blessed are those who hear God's word and actually keep it."
But he said, Yea rather, blessed {are} they that hear the word of God, and keep it.
When the crowd was all gathered, he started saying, "This generation is so sus; they want a sign, but no sign will be given except for the sign of Jonah."
And when the people were gathered thick together, he began to say, This is an evil generation: they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the sign of Jonas the prophet.
Just like Jonah was a sign for the Ninevites, the Son of Man will be a sign for this generation, periodt.
For as Jonas was a sign unto the Ninevites, so shall also the Son of man be to this generation.
The queen from the south is gonna pop off in judgment with this squad, and call them out: she traveled far just to hear Solomon's wisdom; and no cap, someone greater than Solomon is here.
The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with the men of this generation, and condemn them: for she came from the utmost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon {is} here.
The peeps from Nineveh are gonna rise up in judgment with this generation and throw shade: they repented when Jonas preached; and fr, someone greater than Jonas is here.
The men of Nineve shall rise up in the judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: for they repented at the preaching of Jonas; and, behold, a greater than Jonas {is} here.
No one lights a candle and hides it in the shadows or under a bushel; they put it on a stand so everyone can see that glow.
No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth {it} in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.
The eye is the vibe check for the body: if your eye is clear, your whole body is lit; but if it’s sus, your whole body is in the dark.
The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when {thine eye} is evil, thy body also {is} full of darkness.
So for real, make sure the light in you ain't actually darkness.
Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness.
If your whole body is lit, with no dark spots, then you’re straight up glowing, like a candle shining bright.
If thy whole body therefore {be} full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light. {the bright...: Gr. a candle by its bright shining}
While he was talking, a Pharisee asked him to chill and eat with him: so he rolled in and sat down to eat.
And as he spake, a certain Pharisee besought him to dine with him: and he went in, and sat down to meat.
When the Pharisee peeped this, he was shook that Jesus didn’t wash up before dinner.
And when the Pharisee saw {it}, he marvelled that he had not first washed before dinner.
And the Lord said to him, "Yo, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and plate, but inside you’re wild and wicked."
And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Pharisees make clean the outside of the cup and the platter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.
You fools, didn’t the one who made the outside also craft the inside?
{Ye} fools, did not he that made that which is without make that which is within also?
But for real, give what you can to help others; trust, everything's cool with you.
But rather give alms of such things as ye have; and, behold, all things are clean unto you. {of...: or, as you are able}
Yo, Pharisees, that's sus! You’re all about that mint and herbs grind, but totally skip on judgment and God’s love. You should’ve done both, no cap.
But woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Woe to you, Pharisees! You flex those front-row seats in the synagogues and love the hype in the markets.
Woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye love the uppermost seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets.
For real, Pharisees and scribes, you’re straight-up hypocrites! You’re like hidden graves, and people walk over you clueless.
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are as graves which appear not, and the men that walk over {them} are not aware {of them}.
Then one lawyer was like, “Master, you’re throwing shade at us too.”
Then answered one of the lawyers, and said unto him, Master, thus saying thou reproachest us also.
And He was like, “Woe to you, lawyers! You’re loading people with heavy burdens but won’t lift a finger to help.”
And he said, Woe unto you also, {ye} lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers.
Woe to you! You’re building tombs for the prophets while your fam straight-up took them out.
Woe unto you! for ye build the sepulchres of the prophets, and your fathers killed them.
For real, you’re just showing you’re cool with your ancestors’ actions; they killed the prophets, and you’re here building their tombs.
Truly ye bear witness that ye allow the deeds of your fathers: for they indeed killed them, and ye build their sepulchres.
So, God dropped this wisdom: I’m sending prophets and apostles, and some of them you’ll slay and chase down.
Therefore also said the wisdom of God, I will send them prophets and apostles, and {some} of them they shall slay and persecute:
That all the prophets’ blood, spilled since day one, will be on this generation’s hands; periodt.
That the blood of all the prophets, which was shed from the foundation of the world, may be required of this generation;
From the blood of Abel to the blood of Zacharias, who got taken out between the altar and the temple: no cap, I’m saying this generation’s gotta answer for that.
From the blood of Abel unto the blood of Zacharias, which perished between the altar and the temple: verily I say unto you, It shall be required of this generation.
Yo, lawyers, what’s good? You straight up took the key of knowledge and didn’t even use it, plus you blocked others from getting in. Savage move.
Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered. {hindered: or, forbad}
While he was dropping these truth bombs, the scribes and Pharisees started coming at him hard, trying to get him to spill tea on a bunch of stuff.
And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge {him} vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things:
They were just lurking, trying to catch him slipping with his words so they could throw shade at him.
Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.