Judges Chapter 6
Israel's crew was acting mad sus in the eyes of the Lord, so He let Midian mess them up for seven years.
And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD delivered them into the hand of Midian seven years.
Midian was totally owning Israel, and the Israelites had to hide out in caves and hills like it was an extreme survival game.
And the hand of Midian prevailed against Israel: {and} because of the Midianites the children of Israel made them the dens which {are} in the mountains, and caves, and strong holds. {prevailed: Heb. was strong}
Whenever Israel tried to grow crops, the Midianites, Amalekites, and other peeps from the east showed up on them.
And {so} it was, when Israel had sown, that the Midianites came up, and the Amalekites, and the children of the east, even they came up against them;
They camped out and wrecked everything, leaving Israel with no food, no sheep, no ox, nothing at all.
And they encamped against them, and destroyed the increase of the earth, till thou come unto Gaza, and left no sustenance for Israel, neither sheep, nor ox, nor ass. {sheep: or goat}
Their crew came in with herds and tents, like a locust swarm, and their camels were too many to even count; they were just trying to ruin the land.
For they came up with their cattle and their tents, and they came as grasshoppers for multitude; {for} both they and their camels were without number: and they entered into the land to destroy it.
Israel was straight-up struggling 'cause of the Midianites, and the kids of Israel were like, "Lord, help us!"
And Israel was greatly impoverished because of the Midianites; and the children of Israel cried unto the LORD.
So when the kids of Israel called out to the Lord because of all the Midian drama,
And it came to pass, when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD because of the Midianites,
The Lord sent a prophet to drop some truth, saying, "Yo, listen up! This is what the Lord God of Israel is saying: I brought you out of Egypt and freed you from being slaves."
That the LORD sent a prophet unto the children of Israel, which said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I brought you up from Egypt, and brought you forth out of the house of bondage; {a prophet: Heb. a man a prophet}
I saved you from the Egyptians and everyone who was holding you down, kicked them out, and handed you their land, no cap.
And I delivered you out of the hand of the Egyptians, and out of the hand of all that oppressed you, and drave them out from before you, and gave you their land;
I told you, "I’m the Lord your God; don’t get mixed up with the gods of the Amorites around here," but you didn’t take my advice, periodt.
And I said unto you, I {am} the LORD your God; fear not the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but ye have not obeyed my voice.
So an angel from the Lord rolled up and chilled under an oak in Ophrah, which was Joash's hangout. Gideon was grinding wheat near the winepress, low-key hiding from the Midianites.
And there came an angel of the LORD, and sat under an oak which {was} in Ophrah, that {pertained} unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide {it} from the Midianites. {Gideon: Gr. Gedeon} {to hide...: Heb. to cause it to flee}
Then the angel of the Lord showed up and said, "Yo, the Lord’s got your back, you total rizz king."
And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD {is} with thee, thou mighty man of valour.
Gideon was like, "Bruh, if the Lord's with us, why we dealing with all this drama? Where are the epic miracles our fam always talks about, like when He pulled us outta Egypt? Now it feels like He ghosted us and let the Midianites flex on us."
And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where {be} all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.
So the Lord looked at him and said, "Vibe with this strength, and you’ll save Israel from the Midianites. Didn’t I send you?"
And the LORD looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?
Gideon replied, "Ayo, how am I supposed to save Israel? My crew’s broke in Manasseh, and I’m the least in my dad's circle."
And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family {is} poor in Manasseh, and I {am} the least in my father's house. {my family...: Heb. my thousand is the meanest}
The Lord said, "No cap, I’ll be with you, and you’ll wipe out the Midianites like it’s nothing."
And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man.
Gideon was like, "If I’ve got your favor, show me a sign that you’re really talking to me."
And he said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, then shew me a sign that thou talkest with me.
"Don’t bounce yet; let me grab a gift and bring it to you," the angel said. "I’ll chill until you come back."
Depart not hence, I pray thee, until I come unto thee, and bring forth my present, and set {it} before thee. And he said, I will tarry until thou come again. {present: or, meat offering}
Gideon went in and whipped up a young goat and some unleavened bread. He tossed the meat in a basket and the broth in a pot, then brought it out to the angel hanging under the oak.
And Gideon went in, and made ready a kid, and unleavened cakes of an ephah of flour: the flesh he put in a basket, and he put the broth in a pot, and brought {it} out unto him under the oak, and presented {it}. {a kid: Heb. a kid of the goats}
The angel of God told him, "Take the meat and bread, put them on this rock, and pour out the broth." And he did just that.
And the angel of God said unto him, Take the flesh and the unleavened cakes, and lay {them} upon this rock, and pour out the broth. And he did so.
The angel of the Lord pulled out his staff, touched the meat and the bread, and then fire popped off from the rock, burning everything up. Then the angel just dipped.
Then the angel of the LORD put forth the end of the staff that {was} in his hand, and touched the flesh and the unleavened cakes; and there rose up fire out of the rock, and consumed the flesh and the unleavened cakes. Then the angel of the LORD departed out of his sight.
When Gideon peeped that he was talking to an angel, he was like, "OMG, Lord! I just saw an angel face to face, no cap!"
And when Gideon perceived that he {was} an angel of the LORD, Gideon said, Alas, O Lord GOD! for because I have seen an angel of the LORD face to face.
The Lord was like, "Chill, fam; you’re good. You’re not gonna die."
And the LORD said unto him, Peace {be} unto thee; fear not: thou shalt not die.
So Gideon built an altar for the Lord and named it Jehovah–shalom. It's still a vibe in Ophrah with the Abi–ezrites.
Then Gideon built an altar there unto the LORD, and called it Jehovahshalom: unto this day it {is} yet in Ophrah of the Abiezrites. {Jehovahshalom: that is, The LORD send peace}
That same night, the Lord told him, "Grab your dad’s young bull, the second one, and smash that altar of Baal your dad has, plus chop down the grove next to it."
And it came to pass the same night, that the LORD said unto him, Take thy father's young bullock, even the second bullock of seven years old, and throw down the altar of Baal that thy father hath, and cut down the grove that {is} by it: {even: or, and}
"Build an altar to the Lord on top of this rock, in the right spot, and take the second bull to offer as a burnt sacrifice using the wood from the grove you just chopped down."
And build an altar unto the LORD thy God upon the top of this rock, in the ordered place, and take the second bullock, and offer a burnt sacrifice with the wood of the grove which thou shalt cut down. {rock: Heb. strong place} {in the ordered...: or, in an orderly manner}
Gideon grabbed ten of his boys and did what the Lord said, but he was lowkey scared of his dad and the city peeps, so he pulled it off at night.
Then Gideon took ten men of his servants, and did as the LORD had said unto him: and {so} it was, because he feared his father's household, and the men of the city, that he could not do {it} by day, that he did {it} by night.
When the city woke up in the morning, they found that Baal's altar was wrecked, the grove was gone, and the second bull was sacrificed on the new altar.
And when the men of the city arose early in the morning, behold, the altar of Baal was cast down, and the grove was cut down that {was} by it, and the second bullock was offered upon the altar {that was} built.
They were like, "Who did this?" After asking around, they found out it was Gideon, Joash's son.
And they said one to another, Who hath done this thing? And when they enquired and asked, they said, Gideon the son of Joash hath done this thing.
The city guys were telling Joash, "Bring your son out; he’s gotta go! He smashed Baal’s altar and chopped down the grove!"
Then the men of the city said unto Joash, Bring out thy son, that he may die: because he hath cast down the altar of Baal, and because he hath cut down the grove that {was} by it.
Joash was like, "Y'all really gonna stand up for Baal? If you got his back, you might as well catch these hands at dawn. If he's a god, let him deal with his own mess, 'cause someone just wrecked his altar."
And Joash said unto all that stood against him, Will ye plead for Baal? will ye save him? he that will plead for him, let him be put to death whilst {it is yet} morning: if he {be} a god, let him plead for himself, because {one} hath cast down his altar.
So, that day he called him Jerubbaal, saying, "Let Baal throw down if he wants, since his altar just got smashed."
Therefore on that day he called him Jerubbaal, saying, Let Baal plead against him, because he hath thrown down his altar. {Jerubbaal: that is, Let Baal plead} {Jerubbesheth: that is, Let the shameful thing plead}
Then all the Midianites, Amalekites, and peeps from the east rolled up, setting up camp in the valley of Jezreel.
Then all the Midianites and the Amalekites and the children of the east were gathered together, and went over, and pitched in the valley of Jezreel.
But then the Spirit of the Lord vibed with Gideon, and he blew the trumpet; Abi-ezer was like, "I’m in!"
But the Spirit of the LORD came upon Gideon, and he blew a trumpet; and Abiezer was gathered after him. {came...: Heb. clothed} {gathered: Heb. called}
He sent messengers all over Manasseh; they came through too. He hit up Asher, Zebulun, and Naphtali, and they all showed up.
And he sent messengers throughout all Manasseh; who also was gathered after him: and he sent messengers unto Asher, and unto Zebulun, and unto Naphtali; and they came up to meet them. {gathered: Heb. called}
Gideon was like, "God, if you’re gonna save Israel through me, just like you said,"
And Gideon said unto God, If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said,
"Check it, I’m putting a fleece on the ground; if the dew’s only on the fleece and everything else is dry, then I’ll know you’re for real about saving Israel through me."
Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; {and} if the dew be on the fleece only, and {it be} dry upon all the earth {beside}, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said.
And it went down like that: he woke up the next day, squeezed the fleece, and got a whole bowl of water from it.
And it was so: for he rose up early on the morrow, and thrust the fleece together, and wringed the dew out of the fleece, a bowl full of water.
Gideon said to God, "Yo, don’t get mad, I just wanna test this one last time: let the fleece stay dry and the ground be all dewy."
And Gideon said unto God, Let not thine anger be hot against me, and I will speak but this once: let me prove, I pray thee, but this once with the fleece; let it now be dry only upon the fleece, and upon all the ground let there be dew.
And God came through that night: the fleece was dry, and the ground was dripping with dew.
And God did so that night: for it was dry upon the fleece only, and there was dew on all the ground.