Job Chapter 42
Job was like, "Yo, God, I need to get something off my chest."
Then Job answered the LORD, and said,
"I know you can literally do anything, and you peep all the thoughts, no cap."
I know that thou canst do every {thing}, and {that} no thought can be withholden from thee. {no thought can be...: or, no thought of thine can be hindered}
"Who’s out here trying to drop knowledge without being in the loop? I was saying things I didn’t even get; way too epic for me."
Who {is} he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
"Ayo, peep this, I wanna chat: I got questions for you, so let’s hear it."
Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
"I’ve heard about you from the homies, but now I see you for real, fr."
I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
"I’m feeling super sus about my vibe, so I’m truly sorry, no cap."
Wherefore I abhor {myself}, and repent in dust and ashes.
"Right after God said this to Job, He hit up Eliphaz the Temanite, 'I’m not happy with you and your crew, 'cause you didn’t keep it real like Job did.'"
And it was {so}, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me {the thing that is} right, as my servant Job {hath}.
"So, grab seven bulls and seven rams, roll up to Job, and do a burnt offering; Job will pray for you, and I’ll vibe with that, or you’ll catch the smoke for your nonsense."
Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you {after your} folly, in that ye have not spoken of me {the thing which is} right, like my servant Job. {him: Heb. his face, or, person}
"Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar dipped and did what God said, and God was all about Job."
So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite {and} Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the LORD commanded them: the LORD also accepted Job. {Job: Heb. the face of Job}
"God flipped Job’s whole scenario when he prayed for his homies, blessing him double what he had before."
And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. {gave...: Heb. added all that had been to Job unto the double}
"Then all his fam and friends came through, ate with him, and comforted him about all the stuff God threw his way; everyone tossed him some cash and gold bling."
Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.
"God blessed Job way more at the end than in the beginning: he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys."
So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.
"He also had seven sons and three daughters, no cap."
He had also seven sons and three daughters.
"He named the first one Jemima, the second one Kezia, and the third one Keren-happuch."
And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch.
"No other ladies in the land were as fire as Job’s daughters, and their dad totally hooked them up with inheritance."
And in all the land were no women found {so} fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren.
"After that, Job lived for 140 years and peeped his kids and grandkids, like four generations."
After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, {even} four generations.
"So Job passed away, old and vibing, living it to the fullest."
So Job died, {being} old and full of days.