Genesis Chapter 50
Joseph straight up hit his dad’s face, broke down, and gave him a kiss.
And Joseph fell upon his father's face, and wept upon him, and kissed him.
He told his squad of medics to get his dad ready for the afterlife, and they did their thing.
And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father: and the physicians embalmed Israel.
They went into mourning for forty days because that’s how long the embalming takes, and the Egyptians were in their feels for seventy days, no cap.
And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed: and the Egyptians mourned for him threescore and ten days. {mourned: Heb. wept}
Once the mourning was over, Joseph hit up Pharaoh's crew, saying, “If I vibe with you, can you let Pharaoh know this?”
And when the days of his mourning were past, Joseph spake unto the house of Pharaoh, saying, If now I have found grace in your eyes, speak, I pray you, in the ears of Pharaoh, saying,
“Dad made me swear, saying, ‘I’m gonna kick the bucket: bury me where I dug in Canaan.’ So, can I dip and lay my dad to rest, then I’ll bounce back?”
My father made me swear, saying, Lo, I die: in my grave which I have digged for me in the land of Canaan, there shalt thou bury me. Now therefore let me go up, I pray thee, and bury my father, and I will come again.
Pharaoh was like, “Bet, go handle your dad’s burial like you said.”
And Pharaoh said, Go up, and bury thy father, according as he made thee swear.
Joseph bounced to bury his dad, and Pharaoh's crew, the fam, and the elders from the land came with him.
And Joseph went up to bury his father: and with him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his house, and all the elders of the land of Egypt,
His whole family rolled too, but left the kids, flocks, and herds back in Goshen.
And all the house of Joseph, and his brethren, and his father's house: only their little ones, and their flocks, and their herds, they left in the land of Goshen.
They had chariots and riders with them: it was a big crew.
And there went up with him both chariots and horsemen: and it was a very great company.
They hit the threshing floor of Atad, beyond the Jordan, and mourned heavily for seven days.
And they came to the threshingfloor of Atad, which {is} beyond Jordan, and there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation: and he made a mourning for his father seven days.
The Canaanites peeped the mourning at Atad and were like, "This is some real sadness for the Egyptians," so they named it Abel-mizraim, which is just across the Jordan.
And when the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, saw the mourning in the floor of Atad, they said, This {is} a grievous mourning to the Egyptians: wherefore the name of it was called Abelmizraim, which {is} beyond Jordan. {Abelmizraim: that is, The mourning of the Egyptians}
His sons did exactly what he told them to do, no cap.
And his sons did unto him according as he commanded them:
They took him to Canaan and buried him in the cave at Machpelah, the spot Abraham snagged for a chill burial from Ephron the Hittite, right before Mamre.
For his sons carried him into the land of Canaan, and buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which Abraham bought with the field for a possession of a buryingplace of Ephron the Hittite, before Mamre.
Joseph cruised back to Egypt with his bros and everyone who rolled with him after laying his dad to rest.
And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father.
When Joseph's bros realized their dad was gone, they were like, "Bet, Joseph's gonna be mad salty and get back at us for all that drama we stirred up."
And when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.
So they slid a message to Joseph, saying, "Before he kicked it, Dad said,"
And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, {sent: Heb. charged}
"Tell Joseph to please forgive us for what we did; we messed up, and now we’re begging you to forgive us, your dad's servants." Joseph was shook and shed tears when he heard that.
So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.
His bros came and dropped down, saying, "We’re totally your servants."
And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we {be} thy servants.
Joseph was like, "Chill out, fam; am I in God’s place?"
And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for {am} I in the place of God?
But for real, you thought you were doing me dirty, but God flipped that for good, making it all work out to save a whole lot of people, fr.
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; {but} God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as {it is} this day, to save much people alive.
So don’t stress, I got you and your fam. He threw them the good vibes and spoke kindly.
Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them. {kindly...: Heb. to their hearts}
Joseph was vibing in Egypt with his whole fam, living it up for 110 years.
And Joseph dwelt in Egypt, he, and his father's house: and Joseph lived an hundred and ten years.
Joseph peeped Ephraim's kids, like, three generations deep, and Machir's kids were chilling on his lap.
And Joseph saw Ephraim's children of the third {generation}: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph's knees. {brought...: Heb. born}
Joseph told his bros, “I’m out, but God’s gonna come through for you and take you to the land He promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
And Joseph said unto his brethren, I die: and God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.
He made the fam promise, “God’s gonna visit you, and you gotta take my bones with you.”
And Joseph took an oath of the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you, and ye shall carry up my bones from hence.
Joseph passed away at 110, they gave him the full embalming treatment, and he was laid to rest in Egypt.
So Joseph died, {being} an hundred and ten years old: and they embalmed him, and he was put in a coffin in Egypt.