Genesis Chapter 31
Laban's crew was like, "Bruh, Jacob just jacked all our dad's goods and is flexing hard."
And he heard the words of Laban's sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that {was} our father's; and of {that} which {was} our father's hath he gotten all this glory.
Jacob peeped the shift in Laban's vibe, and it was definitely off, fr.
And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it {was} not toward him as before. {as before: Heb. as yesterday and the day before}
So God tapped Jacob and was like, "Make a move back to your fam's crib; I got your back, no cap."
And the LORD said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred; and I will be with thee.
Jacob gathered Rachel and Leah in the field where his squad was hanging out,
And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock,
and said, "I can tell your pops ain't rocking with me anymore; but God, my dad’s homie, has been with me the whole time."
And said unto them, I see your father's countenance, that it {is} not toward me as before; but the God of my father hath been with me.
You know I’ve been grinding for your dad with my hustle.
And ye know that with all my power I have served your father.
But your dad played me and switched up my pay like a million times; still, God kept me safe from his schemes.
And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.
When he said, "The speckled ones are yours," all the cattle turned speckled; if he said, "The ringstraked are yours," all of them went ringstraked.
If he said thus, The speckled shall be thy wages; then all the cattle bare speckled: and if he said thus, The ringstraked shall be thy hire; then bare all the cattle ringstraked.
So, God took all your pops' cattle and handed them over to me, no cap.
Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given {them} to me.
Once, when the cattle were about to give birth, I looked up and had a dream where the rams jumping on them were all ringstraked, speckled, and grisled.
And it came to pass at the time that the cattle conceived, that I lifted up mine eyes, and saw in a dream, and, behold, the rams which leaped upon the cattle {were} ringstraked, speckled, and grisled. {rams: or, he goats}
Then the angel of God hit me up in a dream, like, "Yo, Jacob!" and I was like, "Here I am, what’s up?"
And the angel of God spake unto me in a dream, {saying}, Jacob: And I said, Here {am} I.
He said, "Look up, fam, and check out all the rams jumping on the cattle; they’re ringstraked, speckled, and grisled: I’ve seen all the sus stuff Laban's been pulling on you."
And he said, Lift up now thine eyes, and see, all the rams which leap upon the cattle {are} ringstraked, speckled, and grisled: for I have seen all that Laban doeth unto thee.
"I’m the God of Beth-el, where you blessed that stone and made a promise to me: now dip from this land and head back to your fam."
I {am} the God of Bethel, where thou anointedst the pillar, {and} where thou vowedst a vow unto me: now arise, get thee out from this land, and return unto the land of thy kindred.
Rachel and Leah were like, "Is there any inheritance left for us in our dad’s house?"
And Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him, {Is there} yet any portion or inheritance for us in our father's house?
"Aren’t we pretty much strangers to him? He sold us and totally drained our resources."
Are we not counted of him strangers? for he hath sold us, and hath quite devoured also our money.
"All the wealth God took from our dad is ours and for our kids; so whatever God told you, just do it, no cap."
For all the riches which God hath taken from our father, that {is} ours, and our children's: now then, whatsoever God hath said unto thee, do.
Then Jacob got up and loaded his sons and wives onto camels;
Then Jacob rose up, and set his sons and his wives upon camels;
He took all his livestock and goods he scored from Padan-aram to roll out to his dad Isaac in Canaan.
And he carried away all his cattle, and all his goods which he had gotten, the cattle of his getting, which he had gotten in Padanaram, for to go to Isaac his father in the land of Canaan.
While Laban went to shear his sheep, Rachel straight up lifted her dad's idols.
And Laban went to shear his sheep: and Rachel had stolen the images that {were} her father's. {images: Heb. teraphim}
And Jacob snuck away from Laban the Syrian, not spilling the tea about his exit.
And Jacob stole away unawares to Laban the Syrian, in that he told him not that he fled. {unawares...: Heb. the heart of Laban}
He took off with all his possessions, crossed the river, and set his sights on mount Gilead.
So he fled with all that he had; and he rose up, and passed over the river, and set his face {toward} the mount Gilead.
On the third day, Laban got the scoop that Jacob had bounced.
And it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob was fled.
He rounded up his crew and chased Jacob for seven days; they finally caught up with him at mount Gilead.
And he took his brethren with him, and pursued after him seven days' journey; and they overtook him in the mount Gilead.
God hit up Laban in a dream at night, saying, "Yo, don’t say anything good or bad to Jacob."
And God came to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said unto him, Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad. {either...: Heb. from good to bad}
Laban caught up to Jacob, who was camping on the mountain; Laban and his crew set up camp at mount Gilead too.
Then Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the mount: and Laban with his brethren pitched in the mount of Gilead.
Laban was like, "What’s the deal? You ghosted me and took my daughters like they were kidnapped?"
And Laban said to Jacob, What hast thou done, that thou hast stolen away unawares to me, and carried away my daughters, as captives {taken} with the sword?
"Why’d you sneak away without telling me? I could’ve sent you off with good vibes and a celebration!"
Wherefore didst thou flee away secretly, and steal away from me; and didst not tell me, that I might have sent thee away with mirth, and with songs, with tabret, and with harp? {steal...: Heb. hast stolen me}
"You didn’t even let me say goodbye to my kids? That was a real rookie move."
And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in {so} doing.
"I could totally mess you up, but the God of your dad told me last night, 'Don’t say anything good or bad to Jacob.'"
It is in the power of my hand to do you hurt: but the God of your father spake unto me yesternight, saying, Take thou heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.
"Now, even though you wanted to bounce, why’d you swipe my gods?"
And now, {though} thou wouldest needs be gone, because thou sore longedst after thy father's house, {yet} wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?
Jacob was like, "Yo, Laban, I was just scared you'd take your daughters from me, no cap."
And Jacob answered and said to Laban, Because I was afraid: for I said, Peradventure thou wouldest take by force thy daughters from me.
Whoever finds your gods, let them not live, fr. Let's figure out what's yours and what's mine. Jacob had no idea Rachel had them stashed.
With whomsoever thou findest thy gods, let him not live: before our brethren discern thou what {is} thine with me, and take {it} to thee. For Jacob knew not that Rachel had stolen them.
Laban searched Jacob's tent, Leah's tent, and the maidservants' tents; but nada. Then he bounced out of Leah’s and checked Rachel’s tent.
And Laban went into Jacob's tent, and into Leah's tent, and into the two maidservants' tents; but he found {them} not. Then went he out of Leah's tent, and entered into Rachel's tent.
Rachel hid the idols in the camel gear and sat on them. Laban searched the whole tent but came up empty.
Now Rachel had taken the images, and put them in the camel's furniture, and sat upon them. And Laban searched all the tent, but found {them} not. {searched: Heb. felt}
She told her dad, "Don’t be mad that I can’t stand up; it’s that time, you feel?" He searched and still found nothing.
And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women {is} upon me. And he searched, but found not the images.
Jacob was heated and went off on Laban: "What’s my crime? Why you chasing me down like this?"
And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What {is} my trespass? what {is} my sin, that thou hast so hotly pursued after me?
You checked all my stuff, so what did you find? Bring it here, and let’s get the fam to settle this.
Whereas thou hast searched all my stuff, what hast thou found of all thy household stuff? set {it} here before my brethren and thy brethren, that they may judge betwixt us both. {searched: Heb. felt}
I’ve been working with you for twenty years; none of your sheep have lost their young, and I didn't eat your rams.
This twenty years {have} I {been} with thee; thy ewes and thy she goats have not cast their young, and the rams of thy flock have I not eaten.
If a beast tore something up, I didn’t bring it to you; I took the L on that. You wanted it back, whether it got jacked day or night.
That which was torn {of beasts} I brought not unto thee; I bare the loss of it; of my hand didst thou require it, {whether} stolen by day, or stolen by night.
That’s how it went; during the day, the heat was intense, and at night, the frost was wild; sleep just ghosted me.
{Thus} I was; in the day the drought consumed me, and the frost by night; and my sleep departed from mine eyes.
Yo, I've been grinding at your place for two decades, putting in fourteen for your two daughters and six for your cattle. You switched my pay like ten times, no cap.
Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times.
If it wasn't for the God of my pops, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac being with me, you would’ve sent me off empty-handed. God saw my hustle and checked you last night.
Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked {thee} yesternight.
Laban was like, "These daughters are mine, these kids are mine, these cattle are mine, everything you see is mine. What can I even do about my daughters or their kids today?"
And Laban answered and said unto Jacob, {These} daughters {are} my daughters, and {these} children {are} my children, and {these} cattle {are} my cattle, and all that thou seest {is} mine: and what can I do this day unto these my daughters, or unto their children which they have born?
So Laban was like, "Ayo, let’s make a deal, just you and me; it’ll be our witness."
Now therefore come thou, let us make a covenant, I and thou; and let it be for a witness between me and thee.
Jacob picked up a stone and set it up like a whole pillar.
And Jacob took a stone, and set it up {for} a pillar.
Jacob told his bros, "Yo, grab some stones!" They stacked them up and then they feasted on that stone pile.
And Jacob said unto his brethren, Gather stones; and they took stones, and made an heap: and they did eat there upon the heap.
Laban named it Jegar–sahadutha, but Jacob was like, "Nah, I’m calling it Galeed."
And Laban called it Jegarsahadutha: but Jacob called it Galeed. {Jegarsahadutha: that is, The heap of witness, Chaldee} {Galeed: that is, The heap of witness, Heb.}
Laban said, "This pile is our witness today." That’s why it’s called Galeed.
And Laban said, This heap {is} a witness between me and thee this day. Therefore was the name of it called Galeed;
And Mizpah, 'cause he said, "The Lord better watch between us when we’re not around each other."
And Mizpah; for he said, The LORD watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another. {Mizpah: that is, A beacon, or, watchtower}
If you mess with my daughters or scoop up other wives besides them, just know, no one's with us; God sees everything between us.
If thou shalt afflict my daughters, or if thou shalt take {other} wives beside my daughters, no man {is} with us; see, God {is} witness betwixt me and thee.
Laban's like, "Yo, check out this pile and this pillar I set up between us, no cap."
And Laban said to Jacob, Behold this heap, and behold {this} pillar, which I have cast betwixt me and thee;
This pile's our witness, and so is the pillar, so we’re not crossing this line to throw shade at each other, fr.
This heap {be} witness, and {this} pillar {be} witness, that I will not pass over this heap to thee, and that thou shalt not pass over this heap and this pillar unto me, for harm.
The God of Abraham and Nahor is gonna judge us, and Jacob swore by the vibes his dad Isaac had.
The God of Abraham, and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge betwixt us. And Jacob sware by the fear of his father Isaac.
Jacob threw down a sacrifice on the mountain and called his fam to munch on some bread; they feasted and chilled all night.
Then Jacob offered sacrifice upon the mount, and called his brethren to eat bread: and they did eat bread, and tarried all night in the mount. {offered...: or, killed beasts}
In the morning, Laban woke up, hugged his kids, blessed them, and bounced back home.
And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them: and Laban departed, and returned unto his place.