Genesis Chapter 29
So Jacob was on the move, rolling up in the east like, "What’s good, y'all?"
Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east. {went...: Heb. lift up his feet} {people: Heb. children}
He peeped a well out in the field, and there were three squads of sheep just chilling by it; they were sipping from that well, but there was a big rock on it.
And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there {were} three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone {was} upon the well's mouth.
All the flocks gathered there, and they rolled the stone off the well to hydrate the sheep, then put it back like it was chill.
And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well's mouth in his place.
Jacob was like, "Ayo, where you all from?" They shot back, "We’re from Haran, fam."
And Jacob said unto them, My brethren, whence {be} ye? And they said, Of Haran {are} we.
He asked, "You know Laban, Nahor’s kid?" They were like, "For sure, we know him."
And he said unto them, Know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know {him}.
Jacob was curious, asking, "Is he solid?" They replied, "Yeah, he's vibing, and look, here comes Rachel with the flock."
And he said unto them, {Is} he well? And they said, {He is} well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep. {Is he...: Heb. Is there peace to him?}
Jacob said, "It’s still light out, no need to gather the cattle yet. Just water the sheep and let them munch."
And he said, Lo, {it is} yet high day, neither {is it} time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go {and} feed {them}. {it is...: Heb. yet the day is great}
They responded, "We can’t until all the flocks are here and we roll the stone off the well; then we can hydrate the sheep."
And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and {till} they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep.
While he was chatting, Rachel rolled up with her dad's sheep; she was the one in charge of them.
And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them.
As soon as Jacob caught sight of Rachel, Laban’s daughter, and the sheep, he got hyped, rolled that stone off the well, and watered Laban's flock like a boss.
And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother.
Jacob gave Rachel a kiss, then straight up started crying, no cap.
And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.
He was like, "Yo, I’m your dad's bro and Rebekah’s kid," and Rachel sprinted to tell her pops.
And Jacob told Rachel that he {was} her father's brother, and that he {was} Rebekah's son: and she ran and told her father.
When Laban peeped Jacob was in the area, he dashed over to meet him, wrapped him in a big hug, and took him home to spill the tea.
And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things. {tidings: Heb. hearing}
Laban was like, "You’re pretty much family," and Jacob kicked it with him for a month.
And Laban said to him, Surely thou {art} my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month. {the space...: Heb. a month of days}
Laban asked Jacob, "Bro, since you’re my brother, you can’t just grind for free. What’s your deal?"
And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou {art} my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what {shall} thy wages {be}?
Laban had two daughters: Leah was the older one, and Rachel was the younger one.
And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder {was} Leah, and the name of the younger {was} Rachel.
Leah had a bit of vibe, but Rachel was straight-up stunning, fr.
Leah {was} tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
Jacob was all about Rachel; he said, "I’ll put in seven years for your younger daughter."
And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
Laban was like, "Better to give her to you than some random dude; just stick around, my guy."
And Laban said, {It is} better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
Jacob toiled for seven years for Rachel, but it felt like just a few days 'cause he was so into her.
And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him {but} a few days, for the love he had to her.
Jacob was like, "Ayo Laban, gimme my wife, I've waited long enough, let's make it shake."
And Jacob said unto Laban, Give {me} my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
Laban gathered all the homies and threw a lit feast.
And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
Later that night, he brought Leah, his daughter, to Jacob, and they got it poppin'.
And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
Laban also handed Leah his maid Zilpah to help her out.
And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid {for} an handmaid.
Next morning, Jacob woke up and was like, "Wait, that’s Leah? Laban, what’s the tea? I’ve been grinding for Rachel, no cap!"
And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it {was} Leah: and he said to Laban, What {is} this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
Laban hit him back with, "Nah fam, we don’t do it like that here. The firstborn gets first dibs."
And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. {country: Heb. place}
"Wrap up her week, and I’ll hook you up with Rachel too if you grind for another seven years."
Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.
Jacob was down with that and finished Leah’s week; then he got Rachel as his wife too.
And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
Laban gave Rachel his maid Bilhah to vibe with her.
And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.
Jacob also vibed with Rachel, and he was totally into her more than Leah, putting in another seven years of hustle.
And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
God saw that Leah wasn’t getting any love, so He opened her womb while Rachel was on that struggle bus.
And when the LORD saw that Leah {was} hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel {was} barren.
Leah popped out a son and named him Reuben, saying, "The Lord saw my struggle; now my husband will finally vibe with me."
And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me. {Reuben: that is, See a son}
She got pregnant again and had another son, saying, "The Lord heard me being hated, so He blessed me with this one too," and called him Simeon.
And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard that I {was} hated, he hath therefore given me this {son} also: and she called his name Simeon. {Simeon: that is, Hearing}
She conceived again, had a son, and was like, "Now my husband will be all in since I’ve given him three sons," so they named him Levi.
And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi. {Levi: that is, Joined}
She had another son and said, "I’m gonna praise the Lord now," and named him Judah; then she stopped having kids.
And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing. {Judah: that is, Praise} {left...: Heb. stood from bearing}