Genesis Chapter 28
So Isaac was like, "Jacob, let me hook you up with a blessing. Don’t be catching feelings for any Canaanite girls, my dude."
And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.
He told him, "Bounce to Padan–aram, to your grandpa Bethuel’s place; find yourself a wife from Laban, your mom’s bro."
Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother.
God Almighty is gonna have your back, making you super fruitful and multiplying you, so you’re basically a whole crew.
And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people; {a multitude...: Heb. an assembly of people}
He’s handing you the blessing of Abraham, for you and your future fam, so you can have the land where you’re chilling, which God gave to Abraham.
And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham. {wherein...: Heb. of thy sojournings}
Isaac sent Jacob off, and he jetted to Padan–aram to Laban, Bethuel’s son, who’s Rebekah's bro, Jacob's and Esau's mom.
And Isaac sent away Jacob: and he went to Padanaram unto Laban, son of Bethuel the Syrian, the brother of Rebekah, Jacob's and Esau's mother.
When Esau peeped that Isaac blessed Jacob and sent him to Padan–aram for a wife, he was like, "No cap, Dad said stick to the script with Canaanite girls."
When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan;
So Jacob was keeping it real, heading to Padan–aram.
And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram;
Esau noticed that the Canaanite girls weren’t vibing with Isaac's standards.
And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; {pleased...: Heb. were evil in the eyes, etc}
So Esau pulled up to Ishmael and snagged Mahalath, Ishmael’s daughter, as one of his wives.
Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife. {Mahalath: or, Bashemath}
Jacob bounced from Beer–sheba and was making his way to Haran.
And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran. {Haran: Gr. Charran}
He rolled up to a spot and crashed there all night since the sun had set; grabbed some stones for pillows and knocked out.
And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put {them for} his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.
He had this dream where there was a ladder just chilling on the earth, reaching up to heaven, with angels cruising up and down like it was casual.
And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.
And God was there, saying, "Yo, I’m the Lord, the God of your pops Abraham and your dude Isaac; this land you’re on? It’s all yours, no cap."
And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I {am} the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed;
Your fam will be as numerous as the dust on the ground, spreading out in every direction; through you and your fam, everyone’s gonna be blessed, fr.
And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. {spread...: Heb. break forth}
And God was like, "I’m with you wherever you go, and I’ll bring you back to this land; I won’t bounce until I’ve done what I promised."
And, behold, I {am} with thee, and will keep thee in all {places} whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done {that} which I have spoken to thee of.
Jacob woke up and was like, "Whoa, the Lord is definitely in this spot, and I didn’t even clock it."
And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew {it} not.
He got shook and said, "This place is lit! It’s the house of God, and the gate to heaven, no cap."
And he was afraid, and said, How dreadful {is} this place! this {is} none other but the house of God, and this {is} the gate of heaven.
Early in the morning, Jacob grabbed the stone he used as a pillow, set it up as a pillar, and poured some oil on top for the good vibes.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put {for} his pillows, and set it up {for} a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
He named that place Bethel, but it used to go by Luz before.
And he called the name of that place Bethel: but the name of that city {was called} Luz at the first. {Bethel: that is, The house of God}
Jacob made a deal, saying, "If God’s rolling with me, keeps me on this journey, and hooks me up with food and clothes, then..."
And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
I'm just trying to vibe back home to my dad's crib, and then the Lord's gonna be my guy, no cap.
So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God:
This stone I set up is like God’s spot, and whatever you bless me with, I’m gonna drop a solid 10%, periodt.
And this stone, which I have set {for} a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.