Genesis Chapter 26
So there was this famines—like, a real one, not the first one Abraham faced. Isaac was like, "Bet, let’s roll over to Abimelech, king of the Philistines chilling in Gerar."
And there was a famine in the land, beside the first famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines unto Gerar.
Then God literally showed up and was like, "Yo, don’t bounce to Egypt; just vibe in the land I drop for you."
And the LORD appeared unto him, and said, Go not down into Egypt; dwell in the land which I shall tell thee of:
Chill here, and I got you; I’ll bless you. Your fam will own all these lands, and I’m keeping my promise to your dad Abraham.
Sojourn in this land, and I will be with thee, and will bless thee; for unto thee, and unto thy seed, I will give all these countries, and I will perform the oath which I sware unto Abraham thy father;
I’m about to make your fam as lit as the stars in the sky, and all these lands belong to you; your fam will bless all the nations, no cap.
And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;
This is because Abraham kept it real with me and followed my commands and rules without fail.
Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.
So Isaac was just vibing in Gerar, keeping it lowkey.
And Isaac dwelt in Gerar:
The locals were curious about his wifey, and he was all like, “She’s my sis,” 'cause he was kinda scared they’d whack him for Rebekah, since she was a total snack.
And the men of the place asked {him} of his wife; and he said, She {is} my sister: for he feared to say, {She is} my wife; lest, {said he}, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah; because she {was} fair to look upon.
After a minute, Abimelech peeked at Isaac getting cozy with Rebekah, his wife, from a window.
And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac {was} sporting with Rebekah his wife.
Abimelech called Isaac over and was like, “For real, she’s your wife? Why’d you say she’s your sister?” Isaac answered, “I was tripping, worried I’d take an L for her.”
And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she {is} thy wife: and how saidst thou, She {is} my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, Lest I die for her.
Abimelech said, “What have you done? Somebody could’ve messed with your wife, and you’d have us in a sus situation.”
And Abimelech said, What {is} this thou hast done unto us? one of the people might lightly have lien with thy wife, and thou shouldest have brought guiltiness upon us.
Abimelech told his crew, "Touch this dude or his wifey, and it’s game over, no cap."
And Abimelech charged all {his} people, saying, He that toucheth this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.
Isaac planted in that land and got a hundredfold that same year. God was totally backing him.
Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the LORD blessed him. {received: Heb. found}
Dude was leveling up mad fast, kept hustling, and became super lit.
And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great: {went...: Heb. went going}
He had a ton of flocks, herds, and a crew of servants, and the Philistines were lowkey jealous.
For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him. {servants: or, husbandry}
All the wells his pops dug, the Philistines blocked and filled with dirt, straight-up sus.
For all the wells which his father's servants had digged in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines had stopped them, and filled them with earth.
Abimelech told Isaac, "You gotta bounce; you’re way too goated for us."
And Abimelech said unto Isaac, Go from us; for thou art much mightier than we.
So Isaac dipped and set up camp in the Gerar valley, just chilling there.
And Isaac departed thence, and pitched his tent in the valley of Gerar, and dwelt there.
Isaac went back to dig the wells from his dad's era, since the Philistines blocked them after Abraham passed. He named them after what his dad called them.
And Isaac digged again the wells of water, which they had digged in the days of Abraham his father; for the Philistines had stopped them after the death of Abraham: and he called their names after the names by which his father had called them.
Isaac’s crew dug in the valley and found a fresh spring of water.
And Isaac's servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water. {springing: Heb. living}
The herders of Gerar had beef with Isaac’s crew, claiming, "That water’s ours!" Isaac named the well Esek, 'cause they were all about that drama.
And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac's herdmen, saying, The water {is} ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him. {Esek: that is, Contention}
They dug another well, but had more drama over it, so he named it Sitnah.
And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah. {Sitnah: that is, Hatred}
Then he moved on and dug another well, and this time no beef, so he called it Rehoboth, saying, "God's making space for us, we’re about to thrive here."
And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land. {Rehoboth: that is Room}
He bounced from there to Beer-sheba.
And he went up from thence to Beersheba.
That night, God rolled through and said, "Yo, I’m the God of your pops Abraham. No cap, I’m with you, about to bless you, and grow your fam for Abraham's sake."
And the LORD appeared unto him the same night, and said, I {am} the God of Abraham thy father: fear not, for I {am} with thee, and will bless thee, and multiply thy seed for my servant Abraham's sake.
He built an altar there, called on the Lord’s name, set up his tent, and Isaac’s crew dug a well.
And he builded an altar there, and called upon the name of the LORD, and pitched his tent there: and there Isaac's servants digged a well.
Then Abimelech rolled up with his homie Ahuzzath and Phichol, the boss of his crew.
Then Abimelech went to him from Gerar, and Ahuzzath one of his friends, and Phichol the chief captain of his army.
Isaac was like, "What brings you here? Y’all used to hate on me and made me bounce."
And Isaac said unto them, Wherefore come ye to me, seeing ye hate me, and have sent me away from you?
They replied, "We realized the Lord’s been vibing with you, and we thought we should make a pact, like, let’s be chill."
And they said, We saw certainly that the LORD was with thee: and we said, Let there be now an oath betwixt us, {even} betwixt us and thee, and let us make a covenant with thee; {We saw...: Heb. Seeing we saw}
"You won’t mess with us, 'cause we’ve only treated you right and sent you away peacefully. Now you’re blessed by the Lord."
That thou wilt do us no hurt, as we have not touched thee, and as we have done unto thee nothing but good, and have sent thee away in peace: thou {art} now the blessed of the LORD. {That...: Heb. If thou shalt}
He threw them a feast, and they all ate and drank together.
And he made them a feast, and they did eat and drink.
They woke up early, made a pact, and Isaac was like, "Y'all can dip now," so they left in peace.
And they rose up betimes in the morning, and sware one to another: and Isaac sent them away, and they departed from him in peace.
That same day, Isaac's crew came through and said, "Yo, we found water at the well we dug!"
And it came to pass the same day, that Isaac's servants came, and told him concerning the well which they had digged, and said unto him, We have found water.
He named it Shebah, so now the city is still called Beer-sheba, no cap.
And he called it Shebah: therefore the name of the city {is} Beersheba unto this day. {Shebah: That is, an oath} {Beersheba: that is, the well of the oath}
Esau was 40 when he wifed up Judith, Beeri's daughter, and Bashemath, Elon’s daughter, lit.
And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
They were lowkey a headache for Isaac and Rebekah, fr.
Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah. {a grief...: Heb. bitterness of spirit}