Genesis Chapter 18
So God showed up in Mamre, just chilling by the tent entrance in the heat.
And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day; {plain: Heb. plains}
He peeped up and noticed three guys standing there, so he sprinted over and bowed down, no cap.
And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw {them}, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
He was like, "My Lord, if you’re feeling the vibes, please don’t bounce on me."
And said, My Lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:
"Let me fetch some water to wash your feet and vibe under the tree."
Let a little water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree:
"I’ll grab you some bread to munch on, then you can head out. You came to my crib, so let’s vibe out." They were like, "Bet, let’s do it."
And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So do, as thou hast said. {comfort: Heb. stay} {are...: Heb. you have passed}
Abraham rushed into the tent, telling Sarah, "Yo, whip up three measures of fine flour and make some cakes, quick!"
And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead {it}, and make cakes upon the hearth. {Make ready...: Heb. Hasten}
He ran to the herd, picked a tender calf, and handed it to a young dude to prep it, fr.
And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetcht a calf tender and good, and gave {it} unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it.
He brought butter, milk, and the cooked calf, served it up, and stood by them under the tree while they chowed down.
And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set {it} before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.
They asked him, "Where’s Sarah, your wife?" He replied, "She’s in the tent, chilling."
And they said unto him, Where {is} Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.
He said, "I’ll be back when the timing’s right; Sarah's gonna have a son." Sarah overheard it from the tent behind him, and you know she was shook.
And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard {it} in the tent door, which {was} behind him.
So Abraham and Sarah were pretty ancient, like way past the usual age; Sarah was done with the whole baby-making thing, no cap.
Now Abraham and Sarah {were} old {and} well stricken in age; {and} it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.
Sarah was low-key laughing to herself, thinking, “Am I really gonna have a kid now that we're old, my dude?”
Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
Then the Lord was like, “Yo, why did Sarah laugh? She really thinks I can’t hook her up with a baby, even though she’s old?”
And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?
Is anything too tough for the Lord? When the time’s right, I’ll swing back around, and Sarah's gonna have a son, fr.
Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
But Sarah was like, “I didn’t laugh,” 'cause she was shook. The Lord was all, “Nah, you definitely laughed.”
Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.
The guys got up and checked out Sodom, and Abraham was like, “Let me walk you out, fam.”
And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom: and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way.
Then the Lord was like, “Should I keep this from Abraham?”
And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;
Since Abraham’s gonna be a big deal and all the nations are gonna vibe off him?
Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
I know he’s gonna teach his fam to keep it real with justice, so I gotta come through for Abraham like I said.
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
The Lord said, “The cries from Sodom and Gomorrah are wild, and their sins are straight-up savage.”
And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;
I'ma slide down now and see if the vibes are as wild as the rumors say; if not, I'll know for sure.
I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.
The dudes bounced towards Sodom, but Abraham was still there, chilling with the Lord.
And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.
Abraham stepped up and asked, "You really gonna wipe out the good people with the bad ones?"
And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
What if there are fifty good peeps in the city? You gonna destroy it and not save it for them?
Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that {are} therein?
Nah, that ain't your style to treat the good like the bad; the ultimate Judge gotta keep it real, right?
That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
The Lord replied, "If I find fifty good ones in Sodom, I’ll totally spare the whole place for them."
And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
Abraham said, "Yo, I’m just dust and ashes, but I’m here talkin’ to you, Lord."
And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which {am but} dust and ashes:
What if five are missing from the fifty? You gonna wipe out the whole city for that? He said, "If I find forty-five, I won’t do it."
Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for {lack of} five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy {it}.
He asked again, "What if there are forty?" And God said, "I won’t do it for forty's sake."
And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do {it} for forty's sake.
Abraham was like, "Please don’t be mad, but what about thirty?!" God replied, "I won’t do it if I find thirty."
And he said {unto him}, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do {it}, if I find thirty there.
He was like, "Yo, what if there are twenty good peeps? You won't wreck the place for them, right?" God was like, "No cap, I got you."
And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy {it} for twenty's sake.
He goes, "Ayo, don't be mad, but what if there are ten? You still chill with that?" God was like, "I won't destroy it for ten, fam."
And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy {it} for ten's sake.
So God dipped after chatting with Abraham, and Abraham just went back to his spot.
And the LORD went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place.