Genesis Chapter 16
So, Sarai, Abram’s wifey, was straight up childless, but she had a handmaid, an Egyptian named Hagar.
Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name {was} Hagar.
Sarai was like to Abram, "Yo, the Lord's got me on lockdown for kids. Go and hit it with my girl Hagar, maybe she can pop out some babies for us." Abram was like, "Bet."
And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. {obtain...: Heb. be built by her}
After a decade in Canaan, Sarai handed Hagar over to Abram as a wifey.
And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.
He went in to Hagar, and she got pregnant; suddenly, Sarai was looking real sus to her.
And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
Sarai told Abram, "This is all your fault! I gave my maid to you, and now she’s acting all high and mighty. Lord, you gotta judge between us!"
And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong {be} upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.
Abram was like, "Chill, your maid's your drama; do what you wanna do." When Sarai got savage with her, Hagar bounced.
But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid {is} in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face. {as...: Heb. that which is good in thine eyes} {dealt...: Heb. afflicted her}
Next, the angel of the Lord found Hagar chilling by a water fountain in the desert.
And the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
The angel asked, "Hagar, where you coming from and where you headed?" She replied, "I’m running away from Sarai."
And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.
The angel said, "Go back to Sarai and keep it respectful. Keep it 100."
And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.
The angel added, "I’ll make your fam so big, you won’t even be able to count them. That’s lit."
And the angel of the LORD said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.
The angel of the Lord was like, "Yo, you’re pregnant, and you’re gonna name him Ishmael 'cause God peeped your struggle. No cap."
And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Behold, thou {art} with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction. {Ishmael: that is, God shall hear}
He’s gonna be a wild one, always ready to throw down; everyone’s gonna want that smoke with him. He’ll vibe with his fam, no doubt.
And he will be a wild man; his hand {will be} against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.
She named God, saying, “You really see me?” She was like, "Did I just find someone who actually sees me?"
And she called the name of the LORD that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?
So they called the well Beer-lahai-roi; it’s right between Kadesh and Bered, vibing there.
Wherefore the well was called Beerlahairoi; behold, {it is} between Kadesh and Bered. {Beerlahairoi: that is, The well of him that liveth and seeth me}
Hagar had a son for Abram, and he named him Ishmael, periodt.
And Hagar bare Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bare, Ishmael.
Abram was 86 years old when Hagar dropped Ishmael. That’s wild.
And Abram {was} fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bare Ishmael to Abram.