Exodus Chapter 22
If a bro nabs an ox or a sheep and takes it out or flips it, he’s gotta cough up five oxen for one ox and four sheep for a sheep.
If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. {or a sheep: or, or a goat}
If a thief gets caught breaking in and bites the dust, no cap, there’s no blood on anyone's hands for him.
If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, {there shall} no blood {be shed} for him.
But if it’s daylight and he gets wrecked, that’s on him; he better pay up fully, and if he can’t, he’s getting sold for his crime.
If the sun be risen upon him, {there shall be} blood {shed} for him; {for} he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.
If the stolen item is found alive in his possession, whether it’s an ox, donkey, or sheep, he’s gotta return double.
If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double.
If a dude lets his animal chow down on his neighbor’s crops or vineyard, he’s gotta compensate with the best of his own goods for the damage.
If a man shall cause a field or vineyard to be eaten, and shall put in his beast, and shall feed in another man's field; of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own vineyard, shall he make restitution.
If a fire ignites and fries the crops, the one who sparked the flames is hella responsible for that restitution.
If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed {therewith}; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution.
If a dude gives his homie cash or stuff to watch and it gets lifted, if they catch the thief, he’s gotta pay back double.
If a man shall deliver unto his neighbour money or stuff to keep, and it be stolen out of the man's house; if the thief be found, let him pay double.
If the thief ain't found, the homeowner needs to roll up to the judges to prove he didn’t mess with his neighbor’s stuff.
If the thief be not found, then the master of the house shall be brought unto the judges, {to see} whether he have put his hand unto his neighbour's goods.
For any theft, whether it’s an ox, donkey, sheep, threads, or anything claimed lost, both parties need to hit up the judges; whoever loses has to pay double to the other.
For all manner of trespass, {whether it be} for ox, for ass, for sheep, for raiment, {or} for any manner of lost thing, which {another} challengeth to be his, the cause of both parties shall come before the judges; {and} whom the judges shall condemn, he shall pay double unto his neighbour.
If a guy loans his neighbor a donkey, ox, sheep, or any beast to keep and it dies, gets busted up, or bails, and nobody peeped it:
If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing {it}:
So there’s this whole vibe where they assure each other, like, 'I didn’t touch your stuff,' and the owner’s cool with it, no cap.
{Then} shall an oath of the LORD be between them both, that he hath not put his hand unto his neighbour's goods; and the owner of it shall accept {thereof}, and he shall not make {it} good.
But if someone jacks it, he’s gotta pay the owner back, fr.
And if it be stolen from him, he shall make restitution unto the owner thereof.
If it’s all messed up, bring it as evidence, but you don’t need to replace what got wrecked.
If it be torn in pieces, {then} let him bring it {for} witness, {and} he shall not make good that which was torn.
If you borrow something and it gets wrecked or dies, and the owner isn’t present, you gotta make it good, periodt.
And if a man borrow {ought} of his neighbour, and it be hurt, or die, the owner thereof {being} not with it, he shall surely make {it} good.
But if the owner’s around, you don’t need to replace it; if it’s a hired deal, that’s just how it goes.
{But} if the owner thereof {be} with it, he shall not make {it} good: if it {be} an hired {thing}, it came for his hire.
If a dude tries to vibe with an unmarried girl and they end up together, he’s gotta step up and make her his wife, no cap.
And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
If her pops straight up says no, he’s gotta drop some dough like the dowry for virgins, no cap.
If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. {pay: Heb. weigh}
You can’t let any witch vibes slide; they’ve gotta be outta here.
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Anyone who gets with a beast? Yeah, that’s a huge no; they’re done for.
Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.
If you’re throwing sacrifices to any god but the Lord, you’re getting wiped out, fr.
He that sacrificeth unto {any} god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
Don’t be a jerk to outsiders or treat them poorly, 'cause you were once outsiders in Egypt, no cap.
Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.
Don’t mess with any widows or fatherless kids, that’s just cold.
Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child.
If you hurt them and they call out to me, I’m definitely gonna hear their cry, fr.
If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry;
My anger will be lit, and I’ll come for you with the sword; your wives will be widows and your kids fatherless, periodt.
And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.
If you lend cash to my peeps who are struggling, don’t act like a loan shark, that’s sus.
If thou lend money to {any of} my people {that is} poor by thee, thou shalt not be to him as an usurer, neither shalt thou lay upon him usury.
If you grab your neighbor's clothes as collateral, make sure to return it before sunset, bet.
If thou at all take thy neighbour's raiment to pledge, thou shalt deliver it unto him by that the sun goeth down:
’Cause that’s their only cover; how are they gonna sleep? When they call out to me, I’ll hear them, 'cause I’m gracious.
For that {is} his covering only, it {is} his raiment for his skin: wherein shall he sleep? and it shall come to pass, when he crieth unto me, that I will hear; for I {am} gracious.
Don’t trash talk the gods or throw shade at your leaders, that’s just not it.
Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people. {gods: or, judges}
Don’t sleep on offering the first of your fruits and drinks; you gotta give me your firstborn sons, no cap.
Thou shalt not delay {to offer} the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me. {the first...: Heb. thy fulness} {liquors: Heb. tear}
Do the same with your oxen and sheep: keep them with their moms for seven days, then offer them to me on the eighth day.
Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, {and} with thy sheep: seven days it shall be with his dam; on the eighth day thou shalt give it me.
You all gotta be holy vibes for me: no eating meat that’s been torn by wild animals; just toss it to the dogs, no cap.
And ye shall be holy men unto me: neither shall ye eat {any} flesh {that is} torn of beasts in the field; ye shall cast it to the dogs.