Acts Chapter 5
So there was this guy Ananias, and his partner Sapphira, who sold some stuff,
But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,
But they kept some of that cash on the low, wifey was in on it too, and only brought a part to the apostles.
And kept back {part} of the price, his wife also being privy {to it}, and brought a certain part, and laid {it} at the apostles' feet.
Peter was like, "Ananias, why you lettin' the devil mess with your heart and lie to the Holy Spirit, holding back some of that land cash?"
But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back {part} of the price of the land? {to lie to: or, to deceive}
Honestly, when you had it, it was yours, and after you sold it, you could’ve done whatever, so what’s the deal in your heart? You ain't just fooling people, but God, no cap.
Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.
Ananias heard this and just collapsed, and everyone was shook by what just went down.
And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.
The young guys got up, wrapped him up, and took him away to bury him.
And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried {him} out, and buried {him}.
A few hours later, his wife showed up, totally unaware of what just happened.
And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
Peter asked her, "Did you sell the land for this much?" She was like, "Yeah, for that much."
And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
Then Peter said, "How could you both conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? The feet of those who buried your man are at the door, and they’re about to take you out too."
Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband {are} at the door, and shall carry thee out.
She straight up dropped at his feet and breathed her last, and the young guys came in, found her dead, and took her out to bury her next to her husband.
Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying {her} forth, buried {her} by her husband.
Everyone in the church was shook, like, "Whoa, this is crazy."
And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.
The apostles were out here flexing mad signs and wonders, all vibing together in Solomon’s porch.
And by the hands of the apostles were many signs and wonders wrought among the people; (and they were all with one accord in Solomon's porch.
Nobody dared to roll with them, but peeps were like, "These guys are real deal."
And of the rest durst no man join himself to them: but the people magnified them.
More and more folks were joining the crew, both guys and gals, no cap.
And believers were the more added to the Lord, multitudes both of men and women.)
They even brought the sick into the streets, hoping Peter's shadow would bless them.
Insomuch that they brought forth the sick into the streets, and laid {them} on beds and couches, that at the least the shadow of Peter passing by might overshadow some of them. {into...: or, in every street}
A whole squad from nearby cities showed up to Jerusalem with sick peeps and those dealing with bad vibes, and they all got healed, fr.
There came also a multitude {out} of the cities round about unto Jerusalem, bringing sick folks, and them which were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed every one.
Then the high priest flipped out, with his crew (the Sadducees), and they were mad hot.
Then the high priest rose up, and all they that were with him, (which is the sect of the Sadducees,) and were filled with indignation, {indignation: or, envy}
They grabbed the apostles and tossed them in jail, savage move.
And laid their hands on the apostles, and put them in the common prison.
But the Lord’s angel came through at night, opened the cell doors, and said, "Let’s bounce."
But the angel of the Lord by night opened the prison doors, and brought them forth, and said,
He told them, "Go and spill the tea in the temple about this life."
Go, stand and speak in the temple to the people all the words of this life.
They heard that and bounced to the temple super early, spreading the vibes. But the high priest and his crew pulled up, called the council, and sent to the prison to snag them.
And when they heard {that}, they entered into the temple early in the morning, and taught. But the high priest came, and they that were with him, and called the council together, and all the senate of the children of Israel, and sent to the prison to have them brought.
When the officers showed up and didn’t find them in the clink, they came back and spilled the tea.
But when the officers came, and found them not in the prison, they returned, and told,
They said, "The prison was all locked down tight, and the guards were chilling outside, but when we peeped inside, it was empty, no cap."
Saying, The prison truly found we shut with all safety, and the keepers standing without before the doors: but when we had opened, we found no man within.
When the high priest and the temple captain heard this, they were like, "What’s the tea? This could get wild."
Now when the high priest and the captain of the temple and the chief priests heard these things, they doubted of them whereunto this would grow.
Then someone came through and said, "Yo, the guys you locked up are just chilling in the temple, teaching the crowd."
Then came one and told them, saying, Behold, the men whom ye put in prison are standing in the temple, and teaching the people.
The captain and the officers went to get them without any drama, 'cause they were scared the people might get savage on them.
Then went the captain with the officers, and brought them without violence: for they feared the people, lest they should have been stoned.
They brought them in and set them in front of the council, and the high priest was like,
And when they had brought them, they set {them} before the council: and the high priest asked them,
"Didn’t we tell you straight up not to teach in this name? You’ve lowkey filled Jerusalem with your message and are trying to put this guy’s blood on us."
Saying, Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man's blood upon us.
Peter and the other apostles were like, "We gotta obey God, not people, fr."
Then Peter and the {other} apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
"The God of our ancestors raised up Jesus, the one you guys killed and hung on a tree."
The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree.
God just leveled up Jesus, making Him the ultimate Prince and Savior, giving Israel a chance to vibe with repentance and forgiveness, no cap.
Him hath God exalted with his right hand {to be} a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.
We’re the squad that’s seen all this go down; the Holy Spirit is also in the mix, backing up those who obey God, fr.
And we are his witnesses of these things; and {so is} also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him.
When they heard that, it hit different, and they were like, “We gotta take them out.”
When they heard {that}, they were cut {to the heart}, and took counsel to slay them.
Then this Pharisee named Gamaliel, who had mad respect and was a law expert, stood up and told the apostles to chill for a sec.
Then stood there up one in the council, a Pharisee, named Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, had in reputation among all the people, and commanded to put the apostles forth a little space;
He said, “Yo, people of Israel, watch yourselves and think about what you’re trying to do to these guys.”
And said unto them, Ye men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what ye intend to do as touching these men.
Before this, there was Theudas, flexing like he was a big deal; about 400 dudes followed him, but he got taken out, and his crew scattered, periodt.
For before these days rose up Theudas, boasting himself to be somebody; to whom a number of men, about four hundred, joined themselves: who was slain; and all, as many as obeyed him, were scattered, and brought to nought. {obeyed: or, believed}
Then Judas from Galilee popped off during tax season, pulling a crowd with him, but he also got wrecked, and everyone who followed was dispersed.
After this man rose up Judas of Galilee in the days of the taxing, and drew away much people after him: he also perished; and all, {even} as many as obeyed him, were dispersed. {obeyed: or, believed}
So I’m telling you, chill on these dudes and let them be; if this plan is just people stuff, it’ll flop.
And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought:
But if it’s from God, you can’t stop it; you might end up fighting against God, and that’s sus.
But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.
They were like, “Bet,” and after calling the apostles, they gave them a beatdown and said not to speak Jesus’ name, then let them go.
And to him they agreed: and when they had called the apostles, and beaten {them}, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.
They bounced from the council, vibing hard that they got the rizz to suffer for His name.
And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name.
Every single day in the temple and at all their spots, they kept it going, teaching and preaching about Jesus Christ, no cap.
And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.