Acts Chapter 24
So after five days, Ananias the high priest showed up with his crew, including this dude Tertullus, who started spilling the tea to the governor about Paul.
And after five days Ananias the high priest descended with the elders, and {with} a certain orator {named} Tertullus, who informed the governor against Paul.
When they called him out, Tertullus began throwing shade, saying, "Since you bring us the chill and solid vibes for our nation, we’re vibing hard."
And when he was called forth, Tertullus began to accuse {him}, saying, Seeing that by thee we enjoy great quietness, and that very worthy deeds are done unto this nation by thy providence,
We’re always thankful, most noble Felix, no cap.
We accept {it} always, and in all places, most noble Felix, with all thankfulness.
But for real, I won’t drag this out, so just hear me out for a sec with your mercy.
Notwithstanding, that I be not further tedious unto thee, I pray thee that thou wouldest hear us of thy clemency a few words.
We caught this dude being a total vibe killer, stirring up drama with the Jews left and right, and he’s the head of the Nazarenes squad.
For we have found this man {a} pestilent {fellow}, and a mover of sedition among all the Jews throughout the world, and a ringleader of the sect of the Nazarenes:
He’s also tried to disrespect the temple, and we had him, looking to judge him by our laws.
Who also hath gone about to profane the temple: whom we took, and would have judged according to our law.
But then Chief Captain Lysias swooped in and snatched him away from us with mad force.
But the chief captain Lysias came {upon us}, and with great violence took {him} away out of our hands,
He told his accusers to come to you, so you can get the full scoop on everything we’re accusing him of.
Commanding his accusers to come unto thee: by examining of whom thyself mayest take knowledge of all these things, whereof we accuse him.
The Jews were like, “Facts, that’s how it went down.”
And the Jews also assented, saying that these things were so.
Then Paul, when the governor gave him the green light to speak, was like, "Since I know you’ve been a judge for a hot minute, I’m cool with speaking for myself."
Then Paul, after that the governor had beckoned unto him to speak, answered, Forasmuch as I know that thou hast been of many years a judge unto this nation, I do the more cheerfully answer for myself:
Just so you know, it’s only been twelve days since I rolled up to Jerusalem to worship, no cap.
Because that thou mayest understand, that there are yet but twelve days since I went up to Jerusalem for to worship.
They couldn’t catch me in the temple arguing with anyone, or hyping up the crowd, not in the synagogues or the city, fr.
And they neither found me in the temple disputing with any man, neither raising up the people, neither in the synagogues, nor in the city:
They can’t even back up the accusations they’re throwing at me, sus.
Neither can they prove the things whereof they now accuse me.
But real talk, I’m just saying that I vibe with the God of my ancestors, believing all that’s written in the law and prophets, periodt.
But this I confess unto thee, that after the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the law and in the prophets:
I’ve got hope in God, which they also vibe with, that there’s gonna be a resurrection for everyone, the good and the bad, lit.
And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust.
I'm just trying to keep my conscience clear with God and people, always.
And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and {toward} men.
After a long time, I came to drop off some donations for my peeps and offerings.
Now after many years I came to bring alms to my nation, and offerings.
Some Jews from Asia found me all purified in the temple, no crowd, no drama, just chillin’.
Whereupon certain Jews from Asia found me purified in the temple, neither with multitude, nor with tumult.
They should’ve been here to speak up if they had something against me, fr.
Who ought to have been here before thee, and object, if they had ought against me.
Otherwise, let these people here say if they caught any shady stuff while I was in front of the council.
Or else let these same {here} say, if they have found any evil doing in me, while I stood before the council,
I’m just out here saying one thing, like, “Yo, I’m all about that resurrection life,” and you’re questioning me today, fr.
Except it be for this one voice, that I cried standing among them, Touching the resurrection of the dead I am called in question by you this day.
Felix heard all this and was like, “I got the vibes on this whole situation, so I’m gonna chill for now. When Chief Captain Lysias rolls through, I’ll get the full tea.”
And when Felix heard these things, having more perfect knowledge of {that} way, he deferred them, and said, When Lysias the chief captain shall come down, I will know the uttermost of your matter.
He told a centurion to keep Paul on lock, but let him chill and have his peeps come hang with him, no cap.
And he commanded a centurion to keep Paul, and to let {him} have liberty, and that he should forbid none of his acquaintance to minister or come unto him.
A few days later, Felix and his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, hit up Paul to hear more about that Jesus faith, and it was lit.
And after certain days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, which was a Jewess, he sent for Paul, and heard him concerning the faith in Christ.
As Paul dropped knowledge on righteousness, self-control, and the judgment coming up, Felix was shook and said, “Aight, you can bounce for now; when I’m ready, I’ll hit you up.”
And as he reasoned of righteousness, temperance, and judgment to come, Felix trembled, and answered, Go thy way for this time; when I have a convenient season, I will call for thee.
He was low-key hoping Paul would slide him some cash to get out, so he kept calling him to chat more, periodt.
He hoped also that money should have been given him of Paul, that he might loose him: wherefore he sent for him the oftener, and communed with him.
But after two years, Porcius Festus took over Felix's gig, and Felix, wanting to keep the Jews happy, left Paul locked up, savage.
But after two years Porcius Festus came into Felix' room: and Felix, willing to shew the Jews a pleasure, left Paul bound.