Matthew Chapter 9
He jumped on a boat, cruised over, and pulled up to his hometown.
And he entered into a ship, and passed over, and came into his own city.
So, peep this: they brought a guy who couldn’t move, chillin' on a mat. Jesus peeped their faith and was like, “Yo, fam, don’t worry; your sins are straight.”
And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.
But some scribes were low-key judging, thinking, “This dude's trippin’.”
And, behold, certain of the scribes said within themselves, This {man} blasphemeth.
Jesus caught their vibe and asked, “Why y’all acting sus in your hearts?”
And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?
For real, what’s tougher to say? “Your sins are straight” or “Get up and walk”?
For whether is easier, to say, {Thy} sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk?
But just so you know, the Son of Man can forgive sins on earth, so he told the dude, “Get up, grab your mat, and bounce home.”
But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house.
The guy got up and dipped to his spot.
And he arose, and departed to his house.
When the crowd peeped it, they were shook and praised God for giving such power to people.
But when the multitudes saw {it}, they marvelled, and glorified God, which had given such power unto men.
As Jesus was leaving, he spotted a dude named Matthew chilling at his tax booth and said, “Roll with me.” Matthew got up and followed him.
And as Jesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man, named Matthew, sitting at the receipt of custom: and he saith unto him, Follow me. And he arose, and followed him.
Later, while Jesus was vibing at dinner, a bunch of tax collectors and sinners rolled up to hang with him and his crew.
And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples.
The Pharisees peeped this and asked, "Why’s your dude hanging with tax collectors and sinners?"
And when the Pharisees saw {it}, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?
Jesus overheard them and said, "Healthy peeps don’t need a doc, only the sick do, no cap."
But when Jesus heard {that}, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
"Go figure out what this means: I want mercy, not sacrifice. I came to vibe with sinners, not the righteous."
But go ye and learn what {that} meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Then John’s crew rolled up and asked, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast so much, but your squad doesn’t?"
Then came to him the disciples of John, saying, Why do we and the Pharisees fast oft, but thy disciples fast not?
Jesus replied, "Can the wedding crew be sad while the groom’s around? But trust, there’ll be days when the groom’s gone, and then they’ll fast."
And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.
"Nobody patches old clothes with new fabric; it just messes it up more, fr."
No man putteth a piece of new cloth unto an old garment, for that which is put in to fill it up taketh from the garment, and the rent is made worse. {new: or, raw, or, unwrought}
"And nobody puts new wine in old bottles; otherwise, they break and spill. New wine goes in new bottles, and both stay fresh."
Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved. {bottles: or, sacks of skin, or, leather}
While he was saying this, a ruler came up and worshipped him, saying, "My daughter’s dead; just come touch her, and she’ll live."
While he spake these things unto them, behold, there came a certain ruler, and worshipped him, saying, My daughter is even now dead: but come and lay thy hand upon her, and she shall live.
Jesus got up and followed him, and his disciples were like, "Let’s roll."
And Jesus arose, and followed him, and {so did} his disciples.
Then a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his clothes.
And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind {him}, and touched the hem of his garment:
She was like, "If I just touch his drip, I’ll be all good."
For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
Jesus turned, saw her, and said, "Yo, don’t stress; your faith is fire. You’re straight now."
But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.
When Jesus rolled up to the ruler’s crib, he saw the vibe check was off with all the noise.
And when Jesus came into the ruler's house, and saw the minstrels and the people making a noise,
He said, "Chill out, she’s just sleeping, not dead." They laughed at him, totally sus.
He said unto them, Give place: for the maid is not dead, but sleepeth. And they laughed him to scorn.
But when he kicked the crowd out, he went in, held her hand, and she popped up.
But when the people were put forth, he went in, and took her by the hand, and the maid arose.
And word got around everywhere about what went down.
And the fame hereof went abroad into all that land. {the fame...: or, this fame}
As Jesus bounced, two blind guys followed, shouting, "Yo, Son of David, show us some mercy!"
And when Jesus departed thence, two blind men followed him, crying, and saying, {Thou} Son of David, have mercy on us.
When he got inside, the blind dudes came up, and Jesus was like, "You think I can pull this off?" They replied, "For sure, Lord."
And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord.
Then he touched their eyes, saying, "Based on your faith, let it be done."
Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you.
Their eyes opened, and Jesus was like, "Shh, don’t tell anyone about this."
And their eyes were opened; and Jesus straitly charged them, saying, See {that} no man know {it}.
But they dipped and spread the word about Him everywhere. Total vibes.
But they, when they were departed, spread abroad his fame in all that country.
As they left, they brought a mute dude who was totally possessed.
As they went out, behold, they brought to him a dumb man possessed with a devil.
When the demon got kicked out, the dude started talking, and everyone was shook, saying, "Never seen anything like this in Israel."
And when the devil was cast out, the dumb spake: and the multitudes marvelled, saying, It was never so seen in Israel.
But the Pharisees were like, "He’s casting out demons with the devil's squad."
But the Pharisees said, He casteth out devils through the prince of the devils.
Jesus was out here hitting up all the towns and villages, teaching in the synagogues, preaching the kingdom vibes, and healing all kinds of sickness.
And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
When He peeped the crowds, He felt mad compassion for them, 'cause they were worn out and lost, like sheep without a shepherd.
But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. {fainted...: or, were tired and lay down}
Then He told His crew, "The harvest is lit, but the workers are low-key few."
Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly {is} plenteous, but the labourers {are} few;
So pray to the Lord of the harvest to send more workers to get the job done.
Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.