Matthew Chapter 21
As they pulled up to Jerusalem, hitting Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his boys.
And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples,
He was like, "Yo, hit that village over there, and right away you’re gonna find a donkey tied up with her baby. Bring them to me, no cap."
Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose {them}, and bring {them} unto me.
If anyone asks what’s up, just say, "The Lord needs them," and they’ll be like, "Bet."
And if any {man} say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.
This all happened to fulfill what the prophet had said, fr.
All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying,
Tell the daughter of Zion, "Yo, your King is rolling in, chillin' on a donkey, and also a colt."
Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.
The disciples bounced and did exactly what Jesus told them, no doubt.
And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them,
They brought the donkey and the colt, laid their clothes on them, and set Jesus up there.
And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set {him} thereon.
A massive crowd spread their fits on the road; others were chopping branches and laying them down.
And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed {them} in the way.
The crew in front and behind were hyped, shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is the one coming in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest!"
And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed {is} he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.
When he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was shook, asking, "Who’s this?"
And when he was come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, Who is this?
The crowd was like, "Yo, that’s Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee. Vibes."
And the multitude said, This is Jesus the prophet of Nazareth of Galilee.
Jesus showed up at the temple and went full savage, kicking out all the sellers, flipping tables, and tossing out the money changers.
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
He was like, "It’s written, my crib’s supposed to be a house of prayer, but y’all turned it into a den of thieves. No cap."
And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
The blind and lame came through, and he healed them. Goated.
And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them.
The big shots and scribes peeped the wild stuff he was doing and the kids shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David," and they were mad salty.
And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David; they were sore displeased,
They asked him, "Did you hear what they’re saying?" Jesus was like, "Yeah, haven’t you read? Out of the mouths of kids, you’ve perfected praise. Periodt."
And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?
Then he bounced, leaving the city for Bethany, and crashed there.
And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there.
The next morning, as he rolled back into the city, he was feeling hungry.
Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.
He spotted a fig tree on the way, checked it out, but only found leaves, so he said, "No fruit for you forever." And just like that, the fig tree dried up.
And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away. {a fig tree: Gr. one fig tree}
When the disciples saw that, they were shook, saying, "How quick did that fig tree wither away?"
And when the disciples saw {it}, they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!
Jesus was like, "No cap, if you got faith and don’t doubt, you can do this fig tree thing and even tell a mountain to peace out into the sea; it’ll go down, fr."
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this {which is done} to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
And no joke, whatever you ask in prayer with faith, you’re gonna get it.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
So when he rolled up to the temple, the big deals and elders were like, "Who gave you the clout to do all this?"
And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority?
Jesus was like, "Bet, I’ll ask you something too, and if you spill it, I’ll drop where my authority comes from."
And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.
"So what’s the 411 on John’s baptism? Heaven’s vibes or just people’s?" They were low-key debating, thinking, "If we say heaven, he’ll hit us with, ‘Why didn’t you believe him?’"
The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?
"But if we say it’s just people, we’re sus of the crowd ‘cause they’re all vibing with John as a prophet."
But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.
They told Jesus, "We can’t say." And he was like, "Then I’m not gonna tell you where my authority comes from, periodt."
And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.
"So what’s your take? A dude had two sons, and he told the first, ‘Yo, go work in my vineyard today.’"
But what think ye? A {certain} man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard.
He was like, "Nah," but then he changed his mind and went.
He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.
Then he went to the second and said the same thing. The second was like, "I’m in, sir," but ghosted.
And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I {go}, sir: and went not.
So which one actually did what their dad wanted? They were like, "The first." Jesus hit them with, "No cap, the tax collectors and sinners are vibing their way into the kingdom of God before y’all."
Whether of them twain did the will of {his} father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
John came through with the righteous vibes, but y’all didn’t believe him. The tax collectors and sinners did, and even after peeping it, you didn’t change your minds to believe him.
For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen {it}, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him.
Listen up, here’s another story: There was this guy who planted a vineyard, set up a fence, dug a winepress, built a tower, and rented it out to some farmers before dipping to another spot.
Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:
When it was harvest time, he sent his servants to the farmers to get the fruits.
And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it.
But the farmers took his servants, beat one up, killed another, and stoned another.
And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.
He sent even more servants, and they treated them the same way.
Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.
Finally, he sent his son, thinking, "They’ll respect my son for sure."
But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.
But when the farmers saw the son, they were like, "This is the heir; let’s kill him and take his stuff."
But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.
So they grabbed him, tossed him out of the vineyard, and killed him.
And they caught him, and cast {him} out of the vineyard, and slew {him}.
When the owner of the vineyard comes back, what do you think he’ll do to those farmers?
When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?
They were like, "He's gonna totally wreck those wicked dudes and hand his vineyard to other peeps who will bring the goods when it’s time. No cap."
They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out {his} vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
Jesus was like, "Did you not peep the scriptures? The stone the builders ghosted is now the main character. This is all God’s vibe, and it’s straight-up lit for us."
Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?
So I’m telling you, the kingdom of God is getting taken from you and given to a nation that actually brings the fruits. Periodt.
Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.
Anyone who trips over this stone is gonna be broken, but whoever it falls on? Yeah, that’s a whole grind to dust.
And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
When the top priests and Pharisees caught wind of his stories, they figured out he was low-key talking about them.
And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.
But when they tried to grab him, they got shook by the crowd, 'cause everyone thought he was a prophet.
But when they sought to lay hands on him, they feared the multitude, because they took him for a prophet.