Matthew Chapter 2
Back in the day, Jesus popped up in Bethlehem while Herod was king, and some wise guys from the east cruised into Jerusalem.
Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
They were all like, "Where's the one destined to be the King of the Jews? We peeped his star and came to show him love."
Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.
Herod flipped out when he heard this, and Jerusalem was totally shook too.
When Herod the king had heard {these things}, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.
So he gathered all the top priests and scholars and was like, "Ayo, where's this Christ supposed to be born?"
And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.
They replied, "In Bethlehem of Judea, that's what the prophet dropped, no cap."
And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it is written by the prophet,
And yo, Bethlehem, in the land of Judea, you're not the least of the cities; from you, a Governor will rise up and vibe with my people, Israel.
And thou Bethlehem, {in} the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel. {rule: or, feed}
Then Herod hit up the wise men on the low and was like, "When did that star show up? Spill the tea, fam."
Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, enquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.
He sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go find the kid and hit me up when you do, so I can worship him too."
And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found {him}, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.
After listening to the king, they bounced; and just like that, the star they peeped in the east led them straight to the young child.
When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.
When they spotted the star, they were hyped with joy, like, next level stoked.
When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
They entered the crib, saw the young child with Mary, his mom, and immediately worshipped him; then they unwrapped their gifts—gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. {presented: or, offered}
After catching a vibe from God in a dream not to roll back to Herod, they headed home by a different route.
And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.
After they bounced, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, "Wake up, take the kid and his mom, and dip to Egypt until I give you the word; Herod's coming for the kid."
And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.
So he woke up, took the kid and his mom at night, and jetted off to Egypt.
When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt:
He stayed there until Herod kicked the bucket, so what the Lord said through the prophet could come to life: "Out of Egypt have I called my son."
And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son.
Once Herod figured out he got played by the wise men, he was furious and ordered all the kids in Bethlehem, two years and under, to be taken out based on what he learned from them.
Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying,
Then what Jeremy the prophet said hit hard, periodt.
In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping {for} her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.
In Rama, a voice was heard, crying and weeping, with Rachel mourning for her kids and not finding comfort because they were gone.
But when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeareth in a dream to Joseph in Egypt,
But when Herod was out of the picture, an angel of the Lord popped up in a dream to Joseph in Egypt.
Saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and go into the land of Israel: for they are dead which sought the young child's life.
The angel said, "Wake up, take the kid and his mom, and head to Israel; those who wanted to take the kid out are done for."
And he arose, and took the young child and his mother, and came into the land of Israel.
So he got up, took the kid and his mom, and made his way to Israel.
But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee:
But when he found out Archelaus was in charge of Judea instead of Herod, he was lowkey anxious about going there; still, he got a heads-up from God in a dream and decided to chill in Galilee.
And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene.
He settled in a town called Nazareth, so what the prophets said could be fulfilled: "He shall be called a Nazarene."