Mark Chapter 14
So, two days later, it was time for the Passover feast, and the top priests and scribes were scheming to take him down, no cap.
After two days was {the feast of} the passover, and of unleavened bread: and the chief priests and the scribes sought how they might take him by craft, and put {him} to death.
But they were all like, "Not during the feast, or the crowd's gonna lose it."
But they said, Not on the feast {day}, lest there be an uproar of the people.
While hanging out in Bethany at Simon the leper's spot, a woman showed up with an alabaster jar of some super expensive ointment, and she smashed it open to pour it on his head.
And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured {it} on his head. {spikenard: or, pure nard, or, liquid nard}
Some people were lowkey upset, saying, "Why waste that dope ointment?"
And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made?
They figured it could've been sold for over three hundred coins and given to the needy. They were murmuring, fr.
For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her.
Jesus was like, "Yo, chill, let her be; she did something solid for me."
And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work on me.
You’ll always have the needy with you, and you can help them whenever, but you won’t always have me.
For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always.
She did what she could; she came to prepare my body for burial, periodt.
She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying.
Real talk, wherever this gospel goes out worldwide, what she did is gonna be remembered, no cap.
Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, {this} also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her.
Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, slipped away to the chief priests to sell him out.
And Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, went unto the chief priests, to betray him unto them.
When they heard, they were like, "Bet!" and promised to pay him some cash. He was lowkey planning his betrayal.
And when they heard {it}, they were glad, and promised to give him money. And he sought how he might conveniently betray him.
On the first day of unleavened bread, when they were sacrificing the Passover lamb, his crew asked, "Where we gonna prepare for the feast?"
And the first day of unleavened bread, when they killed the passover, his disciples said unto him, Where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest eat the passover? {killed: or, sacrificed}
He sent two of his boys and said, "Go into the city, and you'll spot a dude with a pitcher of water. Just follow him."
And he sendeth forth two of his disciples, and saith unto them, Go ye into the city, and there shall meet you a man bearing a pitcher of water: follow him.
Wherever he goes in, tell the owner, "The Master wants to know where the guest room is for the Passover with my crew."
And wheresoever he shall go in, say ye to the goodman of the house, The Master saith, Where is the guestchamber, where I shall eat the passover with my disciples?
He’ll show you a dope upper room, all set up. Get it ready for us, no cap.
And he will shew you a large upper room furnished {and} prepared: there make ready for us.
His crew went out, hit the city, and found everything just as he said. They prepped the Passover.
And his disciples went forth, and came into the city, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover.
In the evening, he showed up with the twelve.
And in the evening he cometh with the twelve.
While they were chilling and eating, Jesus said, "For real, one of you munching with me is gonna betray me."
And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.
They got all sad and started asking one by one, "Is it me?" and another was like, "Is it me?"
And they began to be sorrowful, and to say unto him one by one, {Is} it I? and another {said, Is} it I?
He replied, "It’s one of the twelve, the one dipping with me in the bowl."
And he answered and said unto them, {It is} one of the twelve, that dippeth with me in the dish.
The Son of Man is about to dip, just like it was written, but for the dude who betrays him, that's hella sus! He’d be better off not even being born, fr.
The Son of man indeed goeth, as it is written of him: but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! good were it for that man if he had never been born.
While they were munching, Jesus took some bread, blessed it, broke it, and said, "Take this, it's my body, vibe with it."
And as they did eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake {it}, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body.
Then he grabbed the cup, gave thanks, and passed it around, and they all took sips from it.
And he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave {it} to them: and they all drank of it.
He said, "This is my blood of the new deal, spilled for many, no cap."
And he said unto them, This is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many.
For real, I'm telling you, I won't sip on the vine again until the day I drink it fresh in God's kingdom.
Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruit of the vine, until that day that I drink it new in the kingdom of God.
After they dropped a hymn, they bounced to the Mount of Olives.
And when they had sung an hymn, they went out into the mount of Olives. {hymn: or, psalm}
Jesus told them, "Tonight, y'all gonna be shook because of me. It's written, I’ll hit the shepherd, and the flock will scatter."
And Jesus saith unto them, All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered. {offended: or, scandalized, or, shall stumble}
But after I rise, I’ll meet you in Galilee, bet.
But after that I am risen, I will go before you into Galilee.
Peter was like, "Even if everyone else is shook, not me!"
But Peter said unto him, Although all shall be offended, yet {will} not I.
Jesus hit him with, "For real, tonight before the rooster crows twice, you gonna deny me three times, periodt."
And Jesus saith unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this day, {even} in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.
But he was like, "No cap, if I die with you, I ain't denying you, periodt." And the whole squad was on the same vibe.
But he spake the more vehemently, If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise. Likewise also said they all.
They rolled up to a place called Gethsemane, and he was like, "Yo, chill here while I pray."
And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, Sit ye here, while I shall pray.
He brought Peter, James, and John with him, and he was shook, feeling heavy vibes.
And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;
He told them, "My soul is super sad, like, to the max. Just stay here and keep watch."
And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.
He stepped away a bit, hit the ground, and prayed, saying, "If it’s possible, let this hour pass, fr."
And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.
He said, "Abba, Father, you can do anything; take this cup away from me, but not my will, your will."
And he said, Abba, Father, all things {are} possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.
He came back and found them snoozing, and said to Peter, "Yo, Simon, you sleeping? Couldn't you stay woke for an hour?"
And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour?
"Stay woke and pray so you don't fall into temptation. The spirit's ready, but the flesh is weak, no cap."
Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly {is} ready, but the flesh {is} weak.
He dipped again, prayed, and said the same thing.
And again he went away, and prayed, and spake the same words.
When he returned, they were out again, like, their eyes were heavy, and they didn’t even know what to say.
And when he returned, he found them asleep again, (for their eyes were heavy,) neither wist they what to answer him.
He came through a third time and was like, "Y'all can chill now, it’s enough; the hour’s here; peep this, the Son of Man is about to be betrayed by some sus folks."
And he cometh the third time, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take {your} rest: it is enough, the hour is come; behold, the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.
"Get up, let’s bounce; the one who’s gonna betray me is right here."
Rise up, let us go; lo, he that betrayeth me is at hand.
And right as he was saying that, Judas, one of the twelve, rolled up with a whole squad armed with swords and sticks, sent by the chief priests, scribes, and elders.
And immediately, while he yet spake, cometh Judas, one of the twelve, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders.
The betrayer had low-key given them a sign, saying, "Whoever I kiss, that’s the one; grab him and take him away safely."
And he that betrayed him had given them a token, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he; take him, and lead {him} away safely.
As soon as he showed up, he went straight to Jesus and was like, "Master, master," and kissed him.
And as soon as he was come, he goeth straightway to him, and saith, Master, master; and kissed him.
They grabbed him and took him away.
And they laid their hands on him, and took him.
One of the guys standing there pulled out a sword and straight-up sliced off a servant's ear.
And one of them that stood by drew a sword, and smote a servant of the high priest, and cut off his ear.
Jesus was like, "Y'all coming at me like I'm a thief with swords and sticks?"
And Jesus answered and said unto them, Are ye come out, as against a thief, with swords and {with} staves to take me?
"I was with you daily in the temple teaching, and you didn’t do anything; but the scriptures gotta pop off."
I was daily with you in the temple teaching, and ye took me not: but the scriptures must be fulfilled.
And they all dipped on him and ran away.
And they all forsook him, and fled.
A young dude rolled up, draped in a linen cloth, looking hella sus; the guys tried to grab him.
And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about {his} naked {body}; and the young men laid hold on him:
He dipped, leaving the cloth behind, totally naked.
And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked.
They took Jesus to the high priest, and all the big shots like the chief priests and elders were there, vibin'.
And they led Jesus away to the high priest: and with him were assembled all the chief priests and the elders and the scribes.
Peter trailed behind at a distance, chilling in the high priest's palace, sitting with the squad, trying to warm up by the fire.
And Peter followed him afar off, even into the palace of the high priest: and he sat with the servants, and warmed himself at the fire.
The chief priests and the whole council were on a mission, looking for peeps to testify against Jesus to get him canceled; but they found nada.
And the chief priests and all the council sought for witness against Jesus to put him to death; and found none.
A bunch of people tried to throw shade with false testimonies, but their stories didn’t even match up.
For many bare false witness against him, but their witness agreed not together.
Some peeps stood up and started spitting lies about him, saying,
And there arose certain, and bare false witness against him, saying,
"We heard him say he’d wreck this temple made by hands, and in three days, he’d build another without hands."
We heard him say, I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and within three days I will build another made without hands.
But even their stories didn’t line up.
But neither so did their witness agree together.
The high priest stood up and asked Jesus, "You gonna say anything? What’s up with these guys testifying against you?"
And the high priest stood up in the midst, and asked Jesus, saying, Answerest thou nothing? what {is it which} these witness against thee?
But he just stayed quiet, no cap. The high priest asked again, "Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?"
But he held his peace, and answered nothing. Again the high priest asked him, and said unto him, Art thou the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?
Jesus was like, "I am. You’ll see the Son of Man chilling at the right hand of power and coming in the clouds. Lit."
And Jesus said, I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.
The high priest tore his clothes and was like, "Do we even need more witnesses for this?"
Then the high priest rent his clothes, and saith, What need we any further witnesses?
"You heard the blasphemy, what’s the vibe?" They all said he was guilty of death, savage.
Ye have heard the blasphemy: what think ye? And they all condemned him to be guilty of death.
Some started spitting on him, covering his face, and hitting him, saying, "Prophesy!" The servants were throwing hands, fr.
And some began to spit on him, and to cover his face, and to buffet him, and to say unto him, Prophesy: and the servants did strike him with the palms of their hands.
While Peter was chilling below in the palace, one of the high priest's maids showed up.
And as Peter was beneath in the palace, there cometh one of the maids of the high priest:
She saw Peter warming up and was like, "You were with Jesus of Nazareth, right?"
And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked upon him, and said, And thou also wast with Jesus of Nazareth.
But he denied it, saying, "I don't know what you’re talking about." Then he dipped outside and the rooster crowed.
But he denied, saying, I know not, neither understand I what thou sayest. And he went out into the porch; and the cock crew.
A maid spotted him again and started telling those nearby, "This dude is one of them."
And a maid saw him again, and began to say to them that stood by, This is {one} of them.
He denied it again. A little while later, the people around said to Peter, "For real, you’re one of them; you’re a Galilean, and your accent gives it away."
And he denied it again. And a little after, they that stood by said again to Peter, Surely thou art {one} of them: for thou art a Galilaean, and thy speech agreeth {thereto}.
Dude started cursing and swearing, like, "I don’t even know this guy y’all are talking about."
But he began to curse and to swear, {saying}, I know not this man of whom ye speak.
Then the rooster crowed again, and Peter remembered what Jesus said, “Before the rooster crows twice, you’ll deny me three times.” And he was like, "No cap," and started crying.
And the second time the cock crew. And Peter called to mind the word that Jesus said unto him, Before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice. And when he thought thereon, he wept. {when...: or, he wept abundantly, or, he began to weep}