Mark Chapter 12
So he kicked things off with some parables. A guy crafted a vineyard, put up a fence, set a wine press, built a tower, and then rented it to some farmers before bouncing to another country.
And he began to speak unto them by parables. A {certain} man planted a vineyard, and set an hedge about {it}, and digged {a place for} the winefat, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country.
When harvest time came, he sent a servant to the farmers to snatch some of that vineyard fruit.
And at the season he sent to the husbandmen a servant, that he might receive from the husbandmen of the fruit of the vineyard.
They straight-up grabbed him, beat him up, and sent him back with nothing.
And they caught {him}, and beat him, and sent {him} away empty.
He went for round two, sending another servant; they hit him with stones, messed up his head, and sent him back all jacked up.
And again he sent unto them another servant; and at him they cast stones, and wounded {him} in the head, and sent {him} away shamefully handled.
Another one got sent, and they killed him, plus a bunch of others; some got beat, some got iced.
And again he sent another; and him they killed, and many others; beating some, and killing some.
At last, he sent his only son, thinking, "They'll finally respect my son."
Having yet therefore one son, his wellbeloved, he sent him also last unto them, saying, They will reverence my son.
But the farmers were like, "This is the heir; let’s take him out, and the inheritance will be ours."
But those husbandmen said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and the inheritance shall be ours.
So they snatched him, killed him, and tossed him out of the vineyard.
And they took him, and killed {him}, and cast {him} out of the vineyard.
What do you think the vineyard owner will do? He’s gonna come back and wreck those farmers, giving the vineyard to others.
What shall therefore the lord of the vineyard do? he will come and destroy the husbandmen, and will give the vineyard unto others.
Haven't you caught this scripture? The stone the builders threw out became the cornerstone.
And have ye not read this scripture; The stone which the builders rejected is become the head of the corner:
That was the Lord’s vibe, and it’s straight fire in our eyes?
This was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?
They tried to trap him but were sus of the crowd: they knew he was calling them out, so they dipped.
And they sought to lay hold on him, but feared the people: for they knew that he had spoken the parable against them: and they left him, and went their way.
They sent some Pharisees and Herodians to set him up with their words.
And they send unto him certain of the Pharisees and of the Herodians, to catch him in {his} words.
When they rolled up, they were like, "Yo, Master, we know you’re legit and don’t care about what people think: you teach God’s truth. Is it cool to pay taxes to Caesar or nah?"
And when they were come, they say unto him, Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man: for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar, or not?
"Should we pay, or nah?" But he peeped their rizz, asking, "Why you testing me? Show me a coin."
Shall we give, or shall we not give? But he, knowing their hypocrisy, said unto them, Why tempt ye me? bring me a penny, that I may see {it}. {penny: valuing of our money seven pence halfpenny}
They brought it over. He asked, "Whose face is on this?" They said, "Caesar’s."
And they brought {it}. And he saith unto them, Whose {is} this image and superscription? And they said unto him, Caesar's.
Jesus dropped, "Give to Caesar what’s his, and to God what’s God’s." They were shook.
And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marvelled at him.
Next, the Sadducees rolled in, saying there’s no resurrection, and they asked him,
Then come unto him the Sadducees, which say there is no resurrection; and they asked him, saying,
"Master, Moses said if a dude dies and leaves his wife childless, his brother should marry her and have kids for him."
Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man's brother die, and leave {his} wife {behind him}, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.
There were seven brothers: the first married a girl, but when he passed, he had no kids.
Now there were seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and dying left no seed.
So the second dude took her, but he dipped too, no offspring left behind: same deal with the third bro.
And the second took her, and died, neither left he any seed: and the third likewise.
All seven had her, and still no kids: then the woman peaced out too.
And the seven had her, and left no seed: last of all the woman died also.
So in the afterlife, when they rise up, whose wifey is she? All seven had her, fr.
In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.
Jesus was like, "Y'all trippin' because you don’t know the scriptures or God’s power, no cap."
And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?
When they rise from the dead, they don’t marry or get married; they’re like angels in heaven, for real.
For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
And about the dead rising: haven't you skimmed Moses’ book where God spoke to him from the bush, saying, "I’m the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?"
And as touching the dead, that they rise: have ye not read in the book of Moses, how in the bush God spake unto him, saying, I {am} the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?
He ain't the God of the dead but the God of the living: so y'all are missing the point.
He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: ye therefore do greatly err.
Then a scribe rolled through, heard them talking, and saw Jesus was dropping truth, so he asked, "What’s the top commandment?"
And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?
Jesus hit him back, "The first commandment is, ‘Listen up, Israel; our Lord is one Lord.’"
And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments {is}, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
And you gotta love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength: that’s the first commandment, periodt.
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this {is} the first commandment.
The second is like, love your neighbor like you love yourself, fam. No cap, there’s no commandment better than this.
And the second {is} like, {namely} this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
The scribe was like, "For real, Master, you spittin' facts: there’s only one God, and that’s the deal."
And the scribe said unto him, Well, Master, thou hast said the truth: for there is one God; and there is none other but he:
Loving him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, plus loving your neighbor as yourself, is way better than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices.
And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love {his} neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.
When Jesus saw he was spitting wisdom, he was like, "You’re not far from the kingdom of God, fr." After that, no one dared to ask him anything.
And when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him {any question}.
Jesus was teaching in the temple and was like, "Why do the scribes say Christ is David's Son?"
And Jesus answered and said, while he taught in the temple, How say the scribes that Christ is the Son of David?
David himself said through the Holy Spirit, "The Lord said to my Lord, 'Chill at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool.'"
For David himself said by the Holy Ghost, The LORD said to my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstool.
So David calls him Lord; how's he then his son? The crowd was vibing with him, for real.
David therefore himself calleth him Lord; and whence is he {then} his son? And the common people heard him gladly.
He told them in his teachings, "Watch out for the scribes who flex long robes and love being greeted in the marketplaces."
And he said unto them in his doctrine, Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing, and {love} salutations in the marketplaces,
They want the best seats in synagogues and the prime spots at feasts, no doubt.
And the chief seats in the synagogues, and the uppermost rooms at feasts:
They’re out here taking advantage of widows’ houses and putting on a show with long prayers; these peeps are gonna face some serious consequences.
Which devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayers: these shall receive greater damnation.
Jesus was chilling by the treasury, peeping how people were flexing their cash. The rich ones were dropping stacks, no cap.
And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. {money: a piece of brass money}
Then a broke widow pulls up and drops in two tiny coins, like, literally nothing.
And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. {mites: it is the seventh part of one piece of that brass money}
He called his crew over and was like, "For real, this poor widow just gave more than all those rich folks combined."
And he called {unto him} his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
They were giving from their extra, but she straight-up dropped everything she had, no cap.
For all {they} did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, {even} all her living.