Luke Chapter 7
So after he finished all his talks with the crew, he cruised over to Capernaum.
Now when he had ended all his sayings in the audience of the people, he entered into Capernaum.
There was a homie of this centurion who was super close to him, but my dude was sick and about to dip.
And a certain centurion's servant, who was dear unto him, was sick, and ready to die.
When he caught wind of Jesus, he reached out to the Jewish elders, begging them to get him to roll through and heal his homie.
And when he heard of Jesus, he sent unto him the elders of the Jews, beseeching him that he would come and heal his servant.
When they pulled up to Jesus, they were like, "You gotta hook him up, he’s totally worth it!"
And when they came to Jesus, they besought him instantly, saying, That he was worthy for whom he should do this:
He’s all about our people and even built us a synagogue, no cap.
For he loveth our nation, and he hath built us a synagogue.
So Jesus was on his way with them, but when they got near the crib, the centurion sent some friends saying, "Yo, don’t sweat it; I’m not worthy for you to chill under my roof."
Then Jesus went with them. And when he was now not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to him, saying unto him, Lord, trouble not thyself: for I am not worthy that thou shouldest enter under my roof:
For real, I didn’t think I was worthy enough to hit you up either; just say the word, and my homie will be back to health.
Wherefore neither thought I myself worthy to come unto thee: but say in a word, and my servant shall be healed.
I’m also a dude with authority, I've got soldiers under my command, and I tell one to bounce, and he’s out; tell another to show up, and he’s there; and to my servant, "Do this," and he’s got it handled.
For I also am a man set under authority, having under me soldiers, and I say unto one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth {it}. {one: Gr. this man}
When Jesus peeped this, he was shook and turned to the crowd following him, saying, "No cap, I haven’t seen this type of faith, not even in Israel."
When Jesus heard these things, he marvelled at him, and turned him about, and said unto the people that followed him, I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.
The squad that was sent back found the servant all good who had been sick, and it was fire.
And they that were sent, returning to the house, found the servant whole that had been sick.
The next day, he pulled up to a city called Nain with a gang of disciples and a massive crowd.
And it came to pass the day after, that he went into a city called Nain; and many of his disciples went with him, and much people.
As he approached the city gate, check this: a dead dude was being carried out, the only son of his single mother, and she was a widow. The whole city was feeling her vibe.
Now when he came nigh to the gate of the city, behold, there was a dead man carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow: and much people of the city was with her.
When the Lord spotted her, he felt her pain and said, "No cap, don’t cry."
And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.
He stepped up and touched the coffin, and everyone just froze. He called out, "Yo, young man, get up!"
And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare {him} stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. {bier: or, coffin}
The dead guy sat up and started talking. He gave him back to his mom, like, "Here’s your son!"
And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother.
Everyone was shook and praised God, saying, "This dude is a major prophet, and God’s totally in the building with us!"
And there came a fear on all: and they glorified God, saying, That a great prophet is risen up among us; and, That God hath visited his people.
This buzz about him spread all across Judea and the surrounding regions.
And this rumour of him went forth throughout all Judaea, and throughout all the region round about.
John’s disciples came through and spilled all the tea about these events.
And the disciples of John shewed him of all these things.
John called two of his boys and sent them to Jesus, asking, "Are you the one we’ve been waiting for, or should we keep searching?"
And John calling {unto him} two of his disciples sent {them} to Jesus, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?
When the guys reached him, they said, "John the Baptist sent us to you, asking, 'Are you the one we’ve been waiting for, or should we keep searching?'"
When the men were come unto him, they said, John Baptist hath sent us unto thee, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?
In that very moment, He healed a bunch of people from their sicknesses and bad vibes, and even gave sight to the blind. Straight up legendary.
And in that same hour he cured many of {their} infirmities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many {that were} blind he gave sight.
Jesus was like, "Yo, just go tell John what you've seen and heard; the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are clean, the deaf hear, the dead arise, and the good news is for the poor. Periodt."
Then Jesus answering said unto them, Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached.
Blessed are those who aren’t shook by me.
And blessed is {he}, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
When John’s messengers dipped, Jesus started chatting with the crowd about John, asking, "What did you go out to see in the wild? A reed just swaying in the breeze?"
And when the messengers of John were departed, he began to speak unto the people concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness for to see? A reed shaken with the wind?
But for real, what were you expecting? A dude in dope clothes? Those who are dressed to impress live in kings' courts, no cap.
But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live delicately, are in kings' courts.
What were you really out there to see? A prophet? Yeah, I’m telling you, he's way more than that.
But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and much more than a prophet.
This is the dude who’s got the prophecy on lock: "I’m sending my messenger ahead of you to prep the way."
This is {he}, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
For real, I’m telling you, among those born of women, there’s no prophet greater than John the Baptist; but even the least in God’s kingdom is greater than him.
For I say unto you, Among those that are born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist: but he that is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.
All the people who heard him, including the tax collectors, were vibing with God, getting baptized by John.
And all the people that heard {him}, and the publicans, justified God, being baptized with the baptism of John.
But the Pharisees and the lawyers were sus and turned down God’s advice for themselves, not getting baptized by him.
But the Pharisees and lawyers rejected the counsel of God against themselves, being not baptized of him. {rejected: or, frustrated} {against...: or, within themselves}
And the Lord was like, "What should I even compare these dudes to? What’s the vibe?"
And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like?
They’re like kids hanging out in the marketplace, calling out to each other, saying, "We played some tunes for you, but you didn’t groove; we were sad, but you didn’t shed a tear."
They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.
John the Baptist showed up, not munching on bread or sipping wine, and you’re like, "He’s got a demon, no cap."
For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.
The Son of Man comes through eating and drinking, and you’re all like, "Look at this dude, he’s a total foodie, chillin’ with the outcasts!"
The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!
But wisdom’s got the receipts from all her children, fr.
But wisdom is justified of all her children.
One of the Pharisees invited him over, so Jesus showed up at his crib and sat down to eat.
And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat.
And peep this, a sinner lady in the city heard Jesus was chilling at the Pharisee’s spot, so she brought this dope box of perfume.
And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that {Jesus} sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,
She stood behind him, crying, and started washing his feet with her tears, drying them with her hair, kissing his feet, and putting the perfume on them.
And stood at his feet behind {him} weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe {them} with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed {them} with the ointment.
When the Pharisee who invited him saw this, he was like, "In his head, if this guy was really a prophet, he’d know what type of woman is touching him—she’s a sinner, for real."
Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw {it}, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman {this is} that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
And Jesus was like, "Simon, I gotta share something with you." And Simon was like, "Bet, Master, go ahead."
And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.
There was this creditor with two dudes in debt: one owed five hundred bucks, the other just fifty.
There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
When they had nothing to pay, he was like, "No cap, I forgive you both." So, who do you think loves him more?
And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
Simon was like, "I guess the one he forgave the most." And Jesus was like, "You got it, fam."
Simon answered and said, I suppose that {he}, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
He looked at the woman and said to Simon, "You see this girl? I came through, and you didn’t even give me water for my feet, but she’s been washing them with her tears and drying them with her hair."
And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped {them} with the hairs of her head.
You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but this girl hasn’t stopped kissing my feet since I rolled in.
Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
You didn’t put oil on my head, but she’s anointed my feet with some serious fragrance.
My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
So I’m saying, her many sins are forgiven because she loved a lot; but the one who’s forgiven little loves little, periodt.
Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, {the same} loveth little.
And he told her, "Your sins are forgiven, no cap."
And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.
Those chilling with him started wondering, "Who’s this dude that forgives sins too?"
And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?
And he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go live your best life in peace."
And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.