Luke Chapter 20
So one day, while he was kicking it and preaching in the temple, the chief priests and scribes pulled up with the elders, no cap.
And it came to pass, {that} on one of those days, as he taught the people in the temple, and preached the gospel, the chief priests and the scribes came upon {him} with the elders,
They were all like, "Yo, who gave you the clout to pull this off? Spill the tea, fam."
And spake unto him, saying, Tell us, by what authority doest thou these things? or who is he that gave thee this authority?
He replied, "Bet, I got a question for you too; just keep it real with me."
And he answered and said unto them, I will also ask you one thing; and answer me:
"Was John's baptism from heaven or just some human scheme?"
The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?
They were lowkey debating, thinking, "If we say heaven, he’ll hit us with, 'Then why didn’t you believe him?'."
And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say, Why then believed ye him not?
"But if we say it’s just from people, the crowd will go off and we’ll catch the heat, ‘cause they see John as a prophet."
But and if we say, Of men; all the people will stone us: for they be persuaded that John was a prophet.
They ended up admitting they had no idea where it came from.
And they answered, that they could not tell whence {it was}.
Jesus was like, "Well, I ain't spilling the beans on where my authority comes from either."
And Jesus said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.
Then he started dropping this fire parable: a dude planted a vineyard, handed it over to some farmers, and bounced to a distant spot for a while.
Then began he to speak to the people this parable; A certain man planted a vineyard, and let it forth to husbandmen, and went into a far country for a long time.
When the season rolled around, he sent a servant to the farmers to grab some of that vineyard fruit, but they straight up clapped him and sent him away empty-handed.
And at the season he sent a servant to the husbandmen, that they should give him of the fruit of the vineyard: but the husbandmen beat him, and sent {him} away empty.
He sent another servant, but they totally disrespected him, beat him up, and sent him off with nothing.
And again he sent another servant: and they beat him also, and entreated {him} shamefully, and sent {him} away empty.
Then he sent a third, and they hurt him too and booted him out.
And again he sent a third: and they wounded him also, and cast {him} out.
The owner of the vineyard was like, "What should I do? I’ll send my favorite son; maybe they’ll show him some love."
Then said the lord of the vineyard, What shall I do? I will send my beloved son: it may be they will reverence {him} when they see him.
But when the workers peeped him, they were like, "This dude’s the heir; let’s take him out so we can claim the goods."
But when the husbandmen saw him, they reasoned among themselves, saying, This is the heir: come, let us kill him, that the inheritance may be ours.
So they kicked him out of the vineyard and took him away. What’s the owner gonna do about that?
So they cast him out of the vineyard, and killed {him}. What therefore shall the lord of the vineyard do unto them?
He’s gonna come and wreck those workers and give the vineyard to others. They heard this and were like, "No cap, that can't fly!"
He shall come and destroy these husbandmen, and shall give the vineyard to others. And when they heard {it}, they said, God forbid.
He looked at them and said, "What’s up with this: The stone the builders tossed aside is now the key piece?"
And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner?
Anyone who stumbles on that stone will get wrecked; but if it falls on you, it’s game over.
Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
The chief priests and scribes were trying to grab him right there, but they were shook of the crowd since they knew he was throwing shade at them.
And the chief priests and the scribes the same hour sought to lay hands on him; and they feared the people: for they perceived that he had spoken this parable against them.
They were keeping an eye on him and sent spies who acted all chill, just to catch him slipping with his words to hand him over to the governor.
And they watched {him}, and sent forth spies, which should feign themselves just men, that they might take hold of his words, that so they might deliver him unto the power and authority of the governor.
They were like, "Yo, Master, we know you keep it 100 and don’t play favorites, just speaking the truth about God, fr."
And they asked him, saying, Master, we know that thou sayest and teachest rightly, neither acceptest thou the person {of any}, but teachest the way of God truly: {truly: or, of a truth}
"So, is it cool for us to pay taxes to Caesar or nah?"
Is it lawful for us to give tribute unto Caesar, or no?
But he peeped their sus vibes and responded, "Why you trying to test me?"
But he perceived their craftiness, and said unto them, Why tempt ye me?
"Show me a coin. Whose face is on it?" They were like, "Caesar's, of course."
Shew me a penny. Whose image and superscription hath it? They answered and said, Caesar's.
And he said, "So, give Caesar what’s his, and give God what’s God's, periodt."
And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's.
They couldn’t catch him slipping with his words in front of the crowd; they were shook by his response and just went quiet.
And they could not take hold of his words before the people: and they marvelled at his answer, and held their peace.
Then some Sadducees showed up, the ones who don’t believe in the resurrection, and they asked him,
Then came to {him} certain of the Sadducees, which deny that there is any resurrection; and they asked him,
"Yo, Master, Moses said if a guy's bro dies and he’s got a wife but no kids, the bro should marry her and have kids for him."
Saying, Master, Moses wrote unto us, If any man's brother die, having a wife, and he die without children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.
"So, there were seven bros: the first married a girl and died without kids."
There were therefore seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and died without children.
"Then the second bro married her too and he also kicked the bucket childless."
And the second took her to wife, and he died childless.
The third dude took her, and the other four did the same; no kids left, and they all bounced.
And the third took her; and in like manner the seven also: and they left no children, and died.
Finally, the woman dipped too.
Last of all the woman died also.
So like, in the resurrection, whose wifey is she? Seven guys had her, no cap.
Therefore in the resurrection whose wife of them is she? for seven had her to wife.
Jesus was like, "In this world, people marry and get hitched, vibes."
And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:
But those who vibe in the next life don’t marry or get tied down, periodt.
But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:
They can’t die again either; they’re like angels, and they’re straight-up children of God, being the kids of the resurrection.
Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.
Now that the dead are back, even Moses showed us at the bush, calling God the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Now that the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.
He ain't a God of the dead, but of the living: everyone’s alive to him, fr.
For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.
Then some of the scribes were like, "Yo, Master, you’re dropping knowledge."
Then certain of the scribes answering said, Master, thou hast well said.
After that, they didn’t even wanna ask him anything else, savage.
And after that they durst not ask him any {question at all}.
He was like, "How do they even say Christ is David’s kid? That sounds sus."
And he said unto them, How say they that Christ is David's son?
David's all like in the Psalms, "The Lord told my Lord, 'Chill at my right hand.'"
And David himself saith in the book of Psalms, The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand,
"Until I put your haters under your feet, no cap."
Till I make thine enemies thy footstool.
So David calls him Lord, but how's he his son then? That's wild.
David therefore calleth him Lord, how is he then his son?
Then in front of everyone, he told his crew,
Then in the audience of all the people he said unto his disciples,
"Watch out for the scribes, they flex with their long robes and love getting noticed in the streets, chilling in the VIP at church and feasts."
Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts;
"They’re out here scamming from widows and acting all holy with long prayers: those guys are gonna catch the biggest heat."
Which devour widows' houses, and for a shew make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation.