Luke Chapter 15
All the tax collectors and sinners rolled up to hear him, fr.
Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.
The Pharisees and scribes were lowkey whining, like, "This guy chills with sinners and eats with them?"
And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.
So he was like, let me hit you with this story, saying,
And he spake this parable unto them, saying,
"Which one of you, with a hundred sheep, loses one? Don’t you leave the ninety-nine out there and go search for the lost one?"
What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
And when he locates it, he throws it on his shoulders, vibing hard.
And when he hath found {it}, he layeth {it} on his shoulders, rejoicing.
Once he hits home, he calls up his pals and neighbors, saying, "Yo, come celebrate; I found my lost sheep!"
And when he cometh home, he calleth together {his} friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
For real, I’m telling you, there’s mad hype in heaven over one sinner who turns it around, more than over ninety-nine solid folks who don’t need to switch it up.
I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
Or what about a woman who has ten coins and loses one? Doesn’t she light a candle, sweep the house, and look until she finds it?
Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find {it}? {pieces...: drachma, here translated a piece of silver, is the eighth part of an ounce, which cometh to seven pence halfpenny, and is equal to the Roman penny}
And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors, saying, "Let’s vibe; I found my lost coin!"
And when she hath found {it}, she calleth {her} friends and {her} neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.
Honestly, I’m telling you, there’s joy in the presence of God’s angels over one sinner who repents.
Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.
So this dude had two sons, straight vibes.
And he said, A certain man had two sons:
The younger one was like, "Dad, give me my share of the dough," and pops was like, "Bet, here you go."
And the younger of them said to {his} father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth {to me}. And he divided unto them {his} living.
Not long after, the younger son packed up and bounced to a distant spot, living large and blowing all his cash.
And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
Then, boom, a huge famine hit, and he was straight up struggling.
And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
So he linked up with a local dude who sent him to the fields to chill with pigs.
And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
He was so hungry he wished he could snack on the pig food, but no one was looking out for him, no cap.
And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
Then he had an epiphany and thought, "My dad’s workers have food to spare, and here I am starving!"
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
So he chose to head back to his pops and say, "Dad, I really messed up in heaven and with you."
I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
"I’m not even worthy to be called your son anymore; just let me be one of your workers, fr."
And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
He got up and bounced home, and when his dad peeped him from a distance, he felt all the feels, ran to him, and gave him a huge hug and kiss.
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
The son was like, "Dad, I totally messed up, I’m not even worthy to be your son anymore. No cap."
And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
But the dad was like, "Yo, bring the freshest robe, throw it on him, slap a ring on his hand, and hook him up with some kicks."
But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put {it} on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on {his} feet:
"And bring that lit calf over here, let’s feast and vibe!"
And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill {it}; and let us eat, and be merry:
"My son was basically dead, but now he’s alive; he was lost, but now we found him. Time to party hard!"
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
Meanwhile, the older son was out in the fields; as he came back to the crib, he heard music and dancing.
Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.
He called one of the servants and was like, "What’s going on?"
And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.
The servant replied, "Your bro is back, and your dad just killed the fat calf ‘cause he’s home safe and sound."
And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.
The older son got super mad and refused to go in; so his dad came out and was like, "Chill, fam."
And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.
The older son snapped back, "I’ve been grinding for you all these years, never broke your rules, and you never gave me a goat to chill with my crew."
And he answering said to {his} father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:
"But as soon as this dude shows up, who wasted your cash with wild parties, you throw him a feast? That’s savage!"
But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.
He said, "Yo, my dude, you’re always with me, and everything I have is yours, no cap."
And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
We gotta celebrate and vibe, 'cause your bro was gone and now he’s back; he was lost, and now he’s found, fr.
It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.