Luke Chapter 13
Some folks were spilling the tea about the Galileans whose blood Pilate mixed with their sacrifices. Total sus vibes.
There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.
So Jesus was like, "You think those Galileans were more wicked just because of what happened to them? For real?"
And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things?
"Nah fam, unless you all switch it up, you’ll end up in the same scenario."
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
"What about the eighteen who got wrecked by the tower in Siloam? You think they were worse than all the others in Jerusalem?"
Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? {sinners: or, debtors}
"Nah fam, unless you all switch it up, you’ll end up in the same scenario."
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
He dropped this parable: A dude had a fig tree in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit but found zero.
He spake also this parable; A certain {man} had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none.
Then he told the gardener, "Yo, I’ve been checking this fig tree for three years and it’s still not vibing. Just cut it down; why let it take up space?"
Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down; why cumbereth it the ground?
The gardener was like, "Chill, let me give it some love this year, dig around it and see what happens."
And he answering said unto him, Lord, let it alone this year also, till I shall dig about it, and dung {it}:
"If it produces fruit, that’s lit! If not, then go ahead and chop it down."
And if it bear fruit, {well}: and if not, {then} after that thou shalt cut it down.
He was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath, just popping off.
And he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the sabbath.
Yo, there was this woman who’d been dealing with struggles for 18 years, all bent over and couldn’t even stand straight. Straight-up vibe check.
And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up {herself}.
When Jesus peeped her, he called her over and said, "Girl, you’re free from that struggle."
And when Jesus saw her, he called {her to him}, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.
He laid hands on her, and boom, she was healed and was totally about glorifying God.
And he laid {his} hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.
But the synagogue leader was mad salty, 'cause Jesus healed on the Sabbath, and he was like, "Yo, you got six days to work, so come get healed then, not on the Sabbath."
And the ruler of the synagogue answered with indignation, because that Jesus had healed on the sabbath day, and said unto the people, There are six days in which men ought to work: in them therefore come and be healed, and not on the sabbath day.
The Lord clapped back, saying, "Bruh, don’t you all free your animals on the Sabbath to get some water? No cap."
The Lord then answered him, and said, {Thou} hypocrite, doth not each one of you on the sabbath loose his ox or {his} ass from the stall, and lead {him} away to watering?
"And this woman, a daughter of Abraham, who’s been tied down by Satan for 18 years, shouldn’t she be freed on the Sabbath? That’s just savage."
And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan hath bound, lo, these eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the sabbath day?
After he dropped that truth bomb, all his haters felt embarrassed, and everyone else was vibing hard for all the dope things he did.
And when he had said these things, all his adversaries were ashamed: and all the people rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by him.
Then he asked, "What’s the kingdom of God like? How can I even describe it?"
Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it?
It’s like a mustard seed; this dude took it and tossed it in his garden; it turned into a massive tree, and birds were chilling in its branches.
It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it.
He asked again, "How else can I compare the kingdom of God?"
And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God?
It’s like yeast, fam, a woman hid it in three bags of flour until everything was on fire with flavor.
It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened.
He was out here vibing through cities and villages, teaching and making his way to Jerusalem.
And he went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem.
Someone asked him, "Yo, Lord, are there only a select few getting saved?" And he was like,
Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them,
"Strive to get through the narrow gate, 'cause a bunch will try to slide in and can’t, fr."
Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.
"Once the boss of the house gets up and shuts the door, you’ll be outside knocking, saying, 'Lord, Lord, let us in'; but he’ll be like, 'I don’t know where you’re from, no cap.'"
When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are:
Then you'll be like, "We ate and drank with you, and you taught us in our streets."
Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets.
But he’ll say, "Nah, I don’t know where you’re from; bounce from me, all you shady peeps."
But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all {ye} workers of iniquity.
There’s gonna be weeping and grinding of teeth when you see Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and all the prophets in God's kingdom, and you’re out here missing out.
There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you {yourselves} thrust out.
They’ll come from the east, west, north, and south, and chill in the kingdom of God.
And they shall come from the east, and {from} the west, and from the north, and {from} the south, and shall sit down in the kingdom of God.
And, for real, the last will be first, and the first will be last.
And, behold, there are last which shall be first, and there are first which shall be last.
So on that day, some Pharisees rolled up and were like, "Dude, bounce! Herod's out here trying to end you."
The same day there came certain of the Pharisees, saying unto him, Get thee out, and depart hence: for Herod will kill thee.
And Jesus was like, "Y'all go tell that sus fox, I’m out here casting out demons and healing peeps today and tomorrow, and on the third day, I’m gonna be legendary."
And he said unto them, Go ye, and tell that fox, Behold, I cast out devils, and I do cures to day and to morrow, and the third {day} I shall be perfected.
But for real, I gotta keep moving today, tomorrow, and the next day; it’s just not gonna happen that a prophet gets taken out in Jerusalem.
Nevertheless I must walk to day, and to morrow, and the {day} following: for it cannot be that a prophet perish out of Jerusalem.
Yo Jerusalem, you wild for killing the prophets and stoning those sent to you; I wanted to gather your kids like a hen does with her chicks, but y’all weren't down for that!
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen {doth gather} her brood under {her} wings, and ye would not!
Check it, your house is left empty, and I’m telling you, you won’t see me again until you say, "Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord."
Behold, your house is left unto you desolate: and verily I say unto you, Ye shall not see me, until {the time} come when ye shall say, Blessed {is} he that cometh in the name of the Lord.