Joshua Chapter 24
So Joshua brought together all the tribes of Israel at Shechem, called up the elders, heads, and judges, and they all showed up for God, no cap.
And Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel to Shechem, and called for the elders of Israel, and for their heads, and for their judges, and for their officers; and they presented themselves before God.
Joshua was like, "Listen up, the Lord God of Israel is saying that your ancestors were chillin’ across the river back in the day, even Terah, Abraham’s pops, and they were rolling with other gods."
And Joshua said unto all the people, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Your fathers dwelt on the other side of the flood in old time, {even} Terah, the father of Abraham, and the father of Nachor: and they served other gods.
"I snatched your pops Abraham from the other side of the river, guided him through Canaan, boosted his fam, and gifted him Isaac, fr."
And I took your father Abraham from the other side of the flood, and led him throughout all the land of Canaan, and multiplied his seed, and gave him Isaac.
"Isaac got Jacob and Esau; Esau was given mount Seir to kick it on, while Jacob and his crew headed to Egypt."
And I gave unto Isaac Jacob and Esau: and I gave unto Esau mount Seir, to possess it; but Jacob and his children went down into Egypt.
"I sent Moses and Aaron, and I dropped plagues on Egypt, then I bounced you out, savage style."
I sent Moses also and Aaron, and I plagued Egypt, according to that which I did among them: and afterward I brought you out.
"I brought your ancestors out of Egypt, you hit the sea, and the Egyptians were coming for you with chariots and horsemen to the Red Sea."
And I brought your fathers out of Egypt: and ye came unto the sea; and the Egyptians pursued after your fathers with chariots and horsemen unto the Red sea.
"When they called out to the Lord, He threw down darkness between you and the Egyptians, then He split the sea on them, and you watched all the wild stuff I did in Egypt; you hung out in the wilderness for a minute."
And when they cried unto the LORD, he put darkness between you and the Egyptians, and brought the sea upon them, and covered them; and your eyes have seen what I have done in Egypt: and ye dwelt in the wilderness a long season.
"I brought you into the land of the Amorites across the Jordan; they put up a fight, but I handed them over so you could take their land; I wiped them out for you."
And I brought you into the land of the Amorites, which dwelt on the other side Jordan; and they fought with you: and I gave them into your hand, that ye might possess their land; and I destroyed them from before you.
"Balak, the king of Moab, got up and started beef with Israel, sending for Balaam to throw shade at you, sus."
Then Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, arose and warred against Israel, and sent and called Balaam the son of Beor to curse you:
"But I wasn’t about to let Balaam mess you up; he ended up blessing you instead, so I saved you from his grip, periodt."
But I would not hearken unto Balaam; therefore he blessed you still: so I delivered you out of his hand.
Then y'all crossed the Jordan and rolled up on Jericho, but the homies there were ready to rumble—Amorites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites, and Jebusites; I had your back and totally handed them to you, no cap.
And ye went over Jordan, and came unto Jericho: and the men of Jericho fought against you, the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Girgashites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; and I delivered them into your hand.
I sent a hornet ahead of you to freak them out, even the two kings of the Amorites; but y'all didn’t even need to flex a sword or bow for that.
And I sent the hornet before you, which drave them out from before you, {even} the two kings of the Amorites; {but} not with thy sword, nor with thy bow.
I hooked you up with a land you didn’t even work for, and cities you didn’t build; now you’re just vibing in them, munching on vineyards and oliveyards you didn’t plant.
And I have given you a land for which ye did not labour, and cities which ye built not, and ye dwell in them; of the vineyards and oliveyards which ye planted not do ye eat.
So, fam, have some fear for the Lord and serve Him for real, and ditch the gods your fam vibed with back in Egypt; serve the Lord instead.
Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.
And if serving the Lord seems sus to you, choose today who you gonna serve; the gods your fam worshipped or the Amorites’ gods where you live? But me and my crew, we’re all in on serving the Lord.
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that {were} on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
The squad was like, "Nah, we ain't ditching the Lord to serve other gods; that’s just savage."
And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the LORD, to serve other gods;
For the Lord our God is the one who brought us and our fam outta Egypt, from that rough spot, and showed us some major signs, keeping us safe on our journey through all the peeps we met.
For the LORD our God, he {it is} that brought us up and our fathers out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, and which did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way wherein we went, and among all the people through whom we passed:
The Lord kicked out all the people in front of us, even the Amorites living there; so we’re definitely gonna serve the Lord, ‘cause He’s our God.
And the LORD drave out from before us all the people, even the Amorites which dwelt in the land: {therefore} will we also serve the LORD; for he {is} our God.
Joshua told the crew, "You can’t just serve the Lord; He’s a holy God, super jealous; He won't forgive your mess-ups or sins."
And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he {is} an holy God; he {is} a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins. {holy God: Heb. holy Gods}
If you bail on the Lord and start serving random gods, He’ll flip the script on you and bring some pain after all the good He’s done for you.
If ye forsake the LORD, and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt, and consume you, after that he hath done you good.
The squad was like, "Nah, we’re sticking with the Lord, no cap."
And the people said unto Joshua, Nay; but we will serve the LORD.
Joshua was like, "Y’all are the witnesses that you chose to serve the Lord. And they were like, “We gotchu, we’re witnesses."
And Joshua said unto the people, Ye {are} witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen you the LORD, to serve him. And they said, {We are} witnesses.
So he was like, "For real, get rid of those sus gods and focus on the Lord God of Israel."
Now therefore put away, {said he}, the strange gods which {are} among you, and incline your heart unto the LORD God of Israel.
The people responded, "We’re serving the Lord our God and vibing’ with His voice."
And the people said unto Joshua, The LORD our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey.
Then Joshua made a covenant with the crew that day, laying down some rules in Shechem.
So Joshua made a covenant with the people that day, and set them a statute and an ordinance in Shechem.
He penned it all down in the law book and grabbed a big stone, placing it under an oak by the Lord’s sanctuary.
And Joshua wrote these words in the book of the law of God, and took a great stone, and set it up there under an oak, that {was} by the sanctuary of the LORD.
Joshua told everyone, "Check it, this stone is our witness; it heard all the words from the Lord, so don’t go denying Him."
And Joshua said unto all the people, Behold, this stone shall be a witness unto us; for it hath heard all the words of the LORD which he spake unto us: it shall be therefore a witness unto you, lest ye deny your God.
Then Joshua let everybody bounce back to their own spots.
So Joshua let the people depart, every man unto his inheritance.
After all that, Joshua, the son of Nun, the Lord’s homie, passed away at a solid age of 110, fr.
And it came to pass after these things, that Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, {being} an hundred and ten years old.
They laid him to rest in his inheritance at Timnath–serah, which is in mount Ephraim, on the north side of the Gaash hill.
And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathserah, which {is} in mount Ephraim, on the north side of the hill of Gaash.
Israel was vibing with the Lord the whole time Joshua was around, and even when the OGs who knew all the lit stuff God did for them were still around.
And Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that overlived Joshua, and which had known all the works of the LORD, that he had done for Israel. {overlived...: Heb. prolonged their days after Joshua}
They took Joseph's bones from Egypt and buried them in Shechem, which Jacob copped from Hamor's fam for some silver. That spot became the fam's legacy, no cap.
And the bones of Joseph, which the children of Israel brought up out of Egypt, buried they in Shechem, in a parcel of ground which Jacob bought of the sons of Hamor the father of Shechem for an hundred pieces of silver: and it became the inheritance of the children of Joseph. {pieces...: or, lambs}
Eleazar, Aaron's son, passed away; they laid him to rest on a hill his son Phinehas got in mount Ephraim.
And Eleazar the son of Aaron died; and they buried him in a hill {that pertained to} Phinehas his son, which was given him in mount Ephraim.