Jeremiah Chapter 26
At the start of Jehoiakim's rule, the Lord slid into his DMs with a message.
In the beginning of the reign of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah came this word from the LORD, saying,
God was like, "Yo, stand in the Lord’s pad and spill the tea to all the cities in Judah that pull up to worship. Don’t skip a single detail, fam."
Thus saith the LORD; Stand in the court of the LORD'S house, and speak unto all the cities of Judah, which come to worship in the LORD'S house, all the words that I command thee to speak unto them; diminish not a word:
If they actually hear me out and bounce back from their bad vibes, I might chill on the plans I had for them 'cause of their sus actions.
If so be they will hearken, and turn every man from his evil way, that I may repent me of the evil, which I purpose to do unto them because of the evil of their doings.
Let them know, "God's not vibing with you if you don’t follow my rules that I laid out for you."
And thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD; If ye will not hearken to me, to walk in my law, which I have set before you,
They gotta listen to my crew, the prophets I sent to you, but y’all just ghosted them.
To hearken to the words of my servants the prophets, whom I sent unto you, both rising up early, and sending {them}, but ye have not hearkened;
I’ll turn this place into Shiloh and make this city a total curse for all the nations out there.
Then will I make this house like Shiloh, and will make this city a curse to all the nations of the earth.
The priests, prophets, and all the peeps peeped Jeremiah dropping these bars in the Lord’s crib.
So the priests and the prophets and all the people heard Jeremiah speaking these words in the house of the LORD.
Once Jeremiah wrapped up his message, the priests and prophets and everyone were like, "You’re toast, bro."
Now it came to pass, when Jeremiah had made an end of speaking all that the LORD had commanded {him} to speak unto all the people, that the priests and the prophets and all the people took him, saying, Thou shalt surely die.
They asked, "Why you prophesying that this house is gonna be like Shiloh and this city is gonna be empty? Everyone’s tripping on Jeremiah in the Lord’s house."
Why hast thou prophesied in the name of the LORD, saying, This house shall be like Shiloh, and this city shall be desolate without an inhabitant? And all the people were gathered against Jeremiah in the house of the LORD.
When the princes of Judah caught wind of it, they rolled up from the king’s crib to the Lord’s crib and sat at the new gate.
When the princes of Judah heard these things, then they came up from the king's house unto the house of the LORD, and sat down in the entry of the new gate of the LORD'S {house}. {in the...: or, at the door}
The priests and prophets told the princes and everyone, "This dude deserves to be taken out for what he said about this city, no cap."
Then spake the priests and the prophets unto the princes and to all the people, saying, This man {is} worthy to die; for he hath prophesied against this city, as ye have heard with your ears. {This man...: Heb. The judgment of death is for this man}
Jeremiah told all the princes and the crowd, "The Lord sent me to drop truth bombs about this house and city, just like you heard."
Then spake Jeremiah unto all the princes and to all the people, saying, The LORD sent me to prophesy against this house and against this city all the words that ye have heard.
So, change your ways and listen to the Lord your God; then He’ll chill on the bad stuff He said about you.
Therefore now amend your ways and your doings, and obey the voice of the LORD your God; and the LORD will repent him of the evil that he hath pronounced against you.
As for me, I’m in your hands: do what you think is chill.
As for me, behold, I {am} in your hand: do with me as seemeth good and meet unto you. {as...: Heb. as it is good and right in your eyes}
But just know, if you take me out, you’re bringing innocent blood on yourselves and this city, 'cause the Lord sent me to say all this to you.
But know ye for certain, that if ye put me to death, ye shall surely bring innocent blood upon yourselves, and upon this city, and upon the inhabitants thereof: for of a truth the LORD hath sent me unto you to speak all these words in your ears.
Then the princes and the crowd told the priests and prophets, "This dude isn’t worth death; he’s speaking to us in the name of our God."
Then said the princes and all the people unto the priests and to the prophets; This man {is} not worthy to die: for he hath spoken to us in the name of the LORD our God.
A few elders stood up and spoke to the whole assembly, saying,
Then rose up certain of the elders of the land, and spake to all the assembly of the people, saying,
Micah the Morasthite dropped a prophecy during Hezekiah's reign, telling Judah, "God says Zion’s gonna get plowed like a field, and Jerusalem will be a total wreck, like a forest."
Micah the Morasthite prophesied in the days of Hezekiah king of Judah, and spake to all the people of Judah, saying, Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Zion shall be plowed {like} a field, and Jerusalem shall become heaps, and the mountain of the house as the high places of a forest.
Did Hezekiah and Judah really take him out? He didn’t fear the Lord and prayed, and God changed His mind about the bad stuff He planned. We could be bringing big trouble on ourselves.
Did Hezekiah king of Judah and all Judah put him at all to death? did he not fear the LORD, and besought the LORD, and the LORD repented him of the evil which he had pronounced against them? Thus might we procure great evil against our souls. {the LORD, and the: Heb. the face of the LORD, etc}
There was also a dude named Urijah, son of Shemaiah, who prophesied against this city and land just like Jeremiah.
And there was also a man that prophesied in the name of the LORD, Urijah the son of Shemaiah of Kirjathjearim, who prophesied against this city and against this land according to all the words of Jeremiah:
When King Jehoiakim and his crew caught wind of him, they wanted him dead, but Urijah got shook and dipped to Egypt.
And when Jehoiakim the king, with all his mighty men, and all the princes, heard his words, the king sought to put him to death: but when Urijah heard it, he was afraid, and fled, and went into Egypt;
Jehoiakim sent some guys to Egypt, including Elnathan, to bring him back.
And Jehoiakim the king sent men into Egypt, {namely}, Elnathan the son of Achbor, and {certain} men with him into Egypt.
They snagged Urijah out of Egypt, brought him to Jehoiakim, who then took him out with the sword and tossed his body with the regular folks.
And they fetched forth Urijah out of Egypt, and brought him unto Jehoiakim the king; who slew him with the sword, and cast his dead body into the graves of the common people. {common...: Heb. sons of the people}
But Ahikam, son of Shaphan, had Jeremiah's back so they wouldn’t hand him over to the people to be executed.
Nevertheless the hand of Ahikam the son of Shaphan was with Jeremiah, that they should not give him into the hand of the people to put him to death.