Genesis Chapter 44
So he was like, 'Yo, tell the head dude, fill these guys' bags with food, as much as they can carry, and toss their cash in there too. No cap.'
And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, Fill the men's sacks {with} food, as much as they can carry, and put every man's money in his sack's mouth. {the steward...: Heb. him that was over his house}
'And slide my silver cup into the youngest one's bag along with his grain cash.' He straight up did what Joseph said.
And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack's mouth of the youngest, and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken.
When the sun came up, the guys dipped with their donkeys.
As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away, they and their asses.
Once they were outta town and not too far, Joseph told his dude, 'Go catch up to them and ask, What’s the vibe? Why you acting sus?'
{And} when they were gone out of the city, {and} not {yet} far off, Joseph said unto his steward, Up, follow after the men; and when thou dost overtake them, say unto them, Wherefore have ye rewarded evil for good?
'Isn’t this the cup my boss uses to drink and see the future? You’ve messed up big time.'
{Is} not this {it} in which my lord drinketh, and whereby indeed he divineth? ye have done evil in so doing. {divineth: or, maketh trial?}
He caught up with them and dropped those exact words.
And he overtook them, and he spake unto them these same words.
They were like, 'Why is my lord saying this? No way we’d do something so sus!'
And they said unto him, Wherefore saith my lord these words? God forbid that thy servants should do according to this thing:
'Peep this, we brought back the cash we found in our bags from Canaan. Why would we jack silver or gold from your boss's place?'
Behold, the money, which we found in our sacks' mouths, we brought again unto thee out of the land of Canaan: how then should we steal out of thy lord's house silver or gold?
'Whoever you find it with, let him die, and we’ll be your boss’s servants, fr.'
With whomsoever of thy servants it be found, both let him die, and we also will be my lord's bondmen.
He was like, 'Aight, we’ll play it your way: whoever’s got it will be my servant, and y’all can bounce back home.'
And he said, Now also {let} it {be} according unto your words: he with whom it is found shall be my servant; and ye shall be blameless.
They straight up tossed their bags on the ground and opened them like, 'What’s up?'
Then they speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack.
He started checking from the oldest to the youngest, and boom, the cup was straight chilling in Benjamin’s bag.
And he searched, {and} began at the eldest, and left at the youngest: and the cup was found in Benjamin's sack.
They ripped their clothes in disbelief, loaded up their donkeys, and headed back to the city.
Then they rent their clothes, and laded every man his ass, and returned to the city.
Judah and his bros rolled up to Joseph’s crib since he was still there, and they hit the ground hard.
And Judah and his brethren came to Joseph's house; for he {was} yet there: and they fell before him on the ground.
Joseph was like, 'What kind of mess is this? You know I can totally figure this out, right?'
And Joseph said unto them, What deed {is} this that ye have done? wot ye not that such a man as I can certainly divine? {divine: or, make trial?}
Judah was like, 'What do we even say to you? We’re all kinds of guilty, God knows what we did. We’re all your servants, even the one with the cup.'
And Judah said, What shall we say unto my lord? what shall we speak? or how shall we clear ourselves? God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants: behold, we {are} my lord's servants, both we, and {he} also with whom the cup is found.
Joseph replied, 'Nah, we’re not doing that. The dude with the cup is my servant; you guys can head home peacefully.'
And he said, God forbid that I should do so: {but} the man in whose hand the cup is found, he shall be my servant; and as for you, get you up in peace unto your father.
Judah stepped closer and was like, 'Yo, let me just say, don’t be mad at me, you’re basically like Pharaoh.'
Then Judah came near unto him, and said, Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord's ears, and let not thine anger burn against thy servant: for thou {art} even as Pharaoh.
My dude asked us if we had a dad or a bro.
My lord asked his servants, saying, Have ye a father, or a brother?
We told him, 'Yeah, we got an old man for a dad and a little bro who’s the last of his fam since his other brother is gone, and our dad loves him a lot.'
And we said unto my lord, We have a father, an old man, and a child of his old age, a little one; and his brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother, and his father loveth him.
You told your squad, 'Bring him to me so I can peep him.'
And thou saidst unto thy servants, Bring him down unto me, that I may set mine eyes upon him.
We told my dude, 'The kid can’t dip from his dad or he’ll be crushed, no cap.'
And we said unto my lord, The lad cannot leave his father: for {if} he should leave his father, {his father} would die.
You said, 'If your youngest bro doesn’t roll with you, you ain't seeing my face again.'
And thou saidst unto thy servants, Except your youngest brother come down with you, ye shall see my face no more.
When we hit up my pops, we told him what you said, fr.
And it came to pass when we came up unto thy servant my father, we told him the words of my lord.
Dad was like, 'Go back and grab us some snacks.'
And our father said, Go again, {and} buy us a little food.
We said, 'We can’t go unless our youngest bro is with us; no rizz, no entry.'
And we said, We cannot go down: if our youngest brother be with us, then will we go down: for we may not see the man's face, except our youngest brother {be} with us.
My dad said, 'You know I had two sons, right?'
And thy servant my father said unto us, Ye know that my wife bare me two {sons}:
'One dipped on me, and I thought he got wrecked; I haven’t seen him since.'
And the one went out from me, and I said, Surely he is torn in pieces; and I saw him not since:
'If you take this one too and something bad happens, I’ll be vibing in sorrow to the grave.'
And if ye take this also from me, and mischief befall him, ye shall bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.
'So when I roll up to my pops and the kid’s not with us, just know his life is tied to the kid’s life.'
Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad {be} not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life;
When he sees the kid missing, he's gonna be crushed, and we’re gonna bring our dad mad sadness, fr.
It shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad {is} not {with us}, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave.
I told my dad I'd have the kid's back, and if I mess that up, I’m gonna get the blame forever, no cap.
For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then I shall bear the blame to my father for ever.
So, like, can I step in for the kid and be your servant instead? Let him roll with his fam.
Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren.
How am I supposed to face my dad without the kid? I can't even think about how he’d react, that’s just sus.
For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad {be} not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father. {come...: Heb. find my father}