Genesis Chapter 42
Jacob noticed there was grain in Egypt and was like, "Yo, why y'all just staring at each other?"
Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?
He was like, "I heard there's grain in Egypt, so let’s roll and grab some, or we’re gonna be toast."
And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is corn in Egypt: get you down thither, and buy for us from thence; that we may live, and not die.
Joseph's ten bros straight up bounced to Egypt to snag that grain.
And Joseph's ten brethren went down to buy corn in Egypt.
But Jacob didn’t send Benjamin, 'cause he was like, "What if something sus happens?"
But Benjamin, Joseph's brother, Jacob sent not with his brethren; for he said, Lest peradventure mischief befall him.
The sons of Israel showed up to buy grain 'cause Canaan was dry AF.
And the sons of Israel came to buy {corn} among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan.
Joseph was the big boss in charge, selling to everyone, and his bros walked in, totally bowing down like it was a whole vibe.
And Joseph {was} the governor over the land, {and} he {it was} that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him {with} their faces to the earth.
Joseph peeped his bros and recognized them, but acted all mysterious and said, "Where you coming from?" They replied, "Canaan, just here for food."
And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food. {roughly...: Heb. hard things with them}
Joseph knew who they were, but they were completely clueless about him.
And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.
He remembered the dreams about them and was like, "Y’all are spies, checking out the land's situation."
And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye {are} spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
They were like, "Nah, my dude, we’re just here to snag some food."
And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come.
We’re all just one dude’s sons, no cap; we’re legit, not spies, fam.
We {are} all one man's sons; we {are} true {men}, thy servants are no spies.
He replied, "Nah, you came to check the land’s true vibes."
And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
They said, "We’re twelve bros, all from one fam in Canaan; our youngest is chilling with Dad, and one’s missing."
And they said, Thy servants {are} twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest {is} this day with our father, and one {is} not.
Joseph said, "That’s what I told you, you’re totally spies."
And Joseph said unto them, That {is it} that I spake unto you, saying, Ye {are} spies:
"Here’s the deal: I swear by Pharaoh's life, you’re not bouncing unless your youngest bro shows up."
Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither.
"Send one of you to grab your bro, and y’all will stay locked up so we can see if you’re legit, or else, for real, you’re spies."
Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether {there be any} truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye {are} spies. {kept...: Heb. bound}
He threw them in jail for three days, no cap.
And he put them all together into ward three days. {put: Heb. gathered}
On day three, Joseph was like, "Do this and stay alive; I fear God, fr."
And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; {for} I fear God:
"If you’re real ones, let one bro chill in jail while you go grab food for your fam."
If ye {be} true {men}, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses:
"But bring your youngest bro to me; then I’ll know you’re telling the truth, and you won’t catch those vibes. And they were like, bet."
But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so.
They were like, "For real, we're totally guilty about our bro, 'cause we saw him hurting when he asked for help, but we ignored him; that’s why this mess is on us."
And they said one to another, We {are} verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.
Reuben was like, "Didn’t I tell y’all not to mess with the kid? But you didn’t listen, so now his blood's on us."
And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required.
They had no clue that Joseph could understand them, 'cause he was chatting through an interpreter.
And they knew not that Joseph understood {them}; for he spake unto them by an interpreter. {he spake...: Heb. an interpreter was between them}
Joseph turned away, cried a bit, then came back, chatted with them, and took Simeon, tying him up right in front of them.
And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.
Then Joseph was like, "Fill their bags with grain, put their cash back in, and give them snacks for the trip." And that’s exactly what he did.
Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them.
They loaded up their donkeys with the grain and took off.
And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence.
One of them opened his bag at the inn to feed his donkey and saw his cash chillin' there; it was right at the top.
And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it {was} in his sack's mouth.
He told his bros, "Yo, my cash is back, it’s in my bag!" They freaked out and were like, "What’s happening? What did God do to us?"
And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, {it is} even in my sack: and their heart failed {them}, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What {is} this {that} God hath done unto us? {failed...: Heb. went forth}
They went back to their dad Jacob in Canaan and spilled the tea on everything that went down.
And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying,
They said, "The dude in charge was super harsh with us and thought we were spies."
The man, {who is} the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country. {roughly...: Heb. with us hard things}
We told him, "No cap, we’re legit; not spies, fr."
And we said unto him, We {are} true {men}; we are no spies:
"We’re twelve bros, sons of our dad; one’s missing, and the youngest is chillin' with our pops in Canaan."
We {be} twelve brethren, sons of our father; one {is} not, and the youngest {is} this day with our father in the land of Canaan.
The dude in charge was like, "This is how I know you’re the real ones: leave one bro here, take food back for your fam, and bounce."
And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye {are} true {men}; leave one of your brethren {here} with me, and take {food for} the famine of your households, and be gone:
"Bring your youngest bro to me: then I’ll know you’re not sus, but true bros. I’ll let your other bro go, and you can do your thing in the land."
And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye {are} no spies, but {that} ye {are} true {men: so} will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land.
As they opened their bags, they were shook to find cash in each one: both they and their dad were lowkey scared.
And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man's bundle of money {was} in his sack: and when {both} they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid.
Jacob, their dad, said, "Y’all are playing me: Joseph is gone, Simeon is gone, and now you wanna take Benjamin? This is all bad vibes."
And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved {of my children}: Joseph {is} not, and Simeon {is} not, and ye will take Benjamin {away}: all these things are against me.
Reuben was like, "Yo, if I don’t bring him back, you can do whatever to my two sons. Just let me take him."
And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.
And he said, "My son ain’t going with you; his bro is gone, and he’s all alone. If something bad happens on your way, I’ll be crushed, fr."
And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.