Genesis Chapter 41
So like, after a solid two years, Pharaoh was having a dream while chilling by the river, for real.
And it came to pass at the end of two full years, that Pharaoh dreamed: and, behold, he stood by the river.
Outta nowhere, seven lit cows popped up from the river, all plump and vibing, munching in a field.
And, behold, there came up out of the river seven well favoured kine and fatfleshed; and they fed in a meadow.
Then, seven other cows rolled in looking mad sus and skinny, just hanging by the river too.
And, behold, seven other kine came up after them out of the river, ill favoured and leanfleshed; and stood by the {other} kine upon the brink of the river.
The skinny cows totally gobbled up the fat ones, and Pharaoh woke up like, "What just went down?"
And the ill favoured and leanfleshed kine did eat up the seven well favoured and fat kine. So Pharaoh awoke.
He dozed off again and dreamed some more: seven fresh ears of corn sprouted on one stalk, looking real nice.
And he slept and dreamed the second time: and, behold, seven ears of corn came up upon one stalk, rank and good. {rank: Heb. fat}
Then, seven weak ears blasted by the east wind showed up right after, looking rough around the edges.
And, behold, seven thin ears and blasted with the east wind sprung up after them.
The skinny ears straight devoured the full ones, and Pharaoh woke up again, realizing it was just a dream.
And the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and, behold, {it was} a dream.
The following morning, he was super stressed and called all the magicians and wise guys in Egypt to spill his dream, but no one could crack the code.
And it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled; and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt, and all the wise men thereof: and Pharaoh told them his dream; but {there was} none that could interpret them unto Pharaoh.
Then the chief butler was like, "Yo, I remember my mess-ups today."
Then spake the chief butler unto Pharaoh, saying, I do remember my faults this day:
Pharaoh was mad at his crew and tossed me and the chief baker into the guard's house, periodt.
Pharaoh was wroth with his servants, and put me in ward in the captain of the guard's house, {both} me and the chief baker:
We had a wild dream one night, me and him; both of us got our own vibe checks for our dreams.
And we dreamed a dream in one night, I and he; we dreamed each man according to the interpretation of his dream.
There was a young dude with us, a Hebrew, serving the guard captain; we laid out our dreams, and he totally decoded them for us.
And {there was} there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret.
What he said came true; I got my gig back, and the other dude? He got hanged.
And it came to pass, as he interpreted to us, so it was; me he restored unto mine office, and him he hanged.
Then Pharaoh called for Joseph, and they rushed him out of the dungeon; he cleaned up and switched his fit before meeting Pharaoh.
Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved {himself}, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh. {brought...: Heb. made him run}
Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I had a dream, and nobody can break it down; I heard you can vibe with dream interpretations."
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, I have dreamed a dream, and {there is} none that can interpret it: and I have heard say of thee, {that} thou canst understand a dream to interpret it. {thou...: or, when thou hearest a dream thou canst interpret it}
Joseph replied, "Not me, fam; God’s gonna drop the answer for Pharaoh."
And Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, {It is} not in me: God shall give Pharaoh an answer of peace.
Pharaoh told Joseph, "In my dream, I was chilling by the riverbank."
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, In my dream, behold, I stood upon the bank of the river:
And then, out of the river, seven fresh cows came up, all beefy and looking fine; they were grazing in a meadow.
And, behold, there came up out of the river seven kine, fatfleshed and well favoured; and they fed in a meadow:
Then, seven other cows came up after, looking all sad and skinny, like nothing I’ve seen in all of Egypt; major sus vibes.
And, behold, seven other kine came up after them, poor and very ill favoured and leanfleshed, such as I never saw in all the land of Egypt for badness:
The skinny, sad cows chowed down on the first seven fat ones like it was a snack.
And the lean and the ill favoured kine did eat up the first seven fat kine:
They devoured them, but you couldn’t even tell, still looking rough AF. So I woke up, for real.
And when they had eaten them up, it could not be known that they had eaten them; but they {were} still ill favoured, as at the beginning. So I awoke. {eaten...: Heb. come to the inward parts of them}
In my dream, I peeped seven ears sprouting on one stalk, looking solid and full, fr.
And I saw in my dream, and, behold, seven ears came up in one stalk, full and good:
Then seven weak ears, all dried out and blasted by the east wind, showed up after them, sus vibes.
And, behold, seven ears, withered, thin, {and} blasted with the east wind, sprung up after them: {withered: or, small}
And the thin ears straight consumed the good ones. I told the magicians, but nobody could break it down for me.
And the thin ears devoured the seven good ears: and I told {this} unto the magicians; but {there was} none that could declare {it} to me.
Joseph was like, “Yo, Pharaoh, your dream is the same vibe: God’s about to spill the tea on what’s coming.”
And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, The dream of Pharaoh {is} one: God hath shewed Pharaoh what he {is} about to do.
The seven good cows? That’s seven years; same goes for the seven good ears: seven years, it's all connected.
The seven good kine {are} seven years; and the seven good ears {are} seven years: the dream {is} one.
The seven weak and rough cows that came up later are also seven years; and the empty ears blasted by the wind mean seven years of famine.
And the seven thin and ill favoured kine that came up after them {are} seven years; and the seven empty ears blasted with the east wind shall be seven years of famine.
This is what I told Pharaoh: God’s about to do something major, and He’s letting Pharaoh in on it.
This {is} the thing which I have spoken unto Pharaoh: What God {is} about to do he sheweth unto Pharaoh.
Get ready for seven years of mad abundance all over Egypt, it’s about to pop off.
Behold, there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt:
But after that, there’s gonna be seven years of famine, and all the abundance? Forgotten, the famine’s gonna wreck it.
And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall consume the land;
The struggle is gonna be real, and nobody's ready for that fight. It's gonna hit hard, no cap.
And the plenty shall not be known in the land by reason of that famine following; for it {shall be} very grievous. {grievous: Heb. heavy}
Pharaoh had that dream twice, which means it’s legit and God’s gonna make it happen, fr.
And for that the dream was doubled unto Pharaoh twice; {it is} because the thing {is} established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass. {established...: or, prepared of God}
So Pharaoh should find a smart and savvy dude to run things in Egypt.
Now therefore let Pharaoh look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.
Pharaoh needs to get on this and select some officials to chill and save one-fifth of all during the good years.
Let Pharaoh do {this}, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years. {officers: or, overseers}
They gotta stack all the food during those blessed years and store it under Pharaoh's watch, keeping it in the cities.
And let them gather all the food of those good years that come, and lay up corn under the hand of Pharaoh, and let them keep food in the cities.
That stash is gonna be super crucial for the famines coming, so the land doesn’t totally wreck itself.
And that food shall be for store to the land against the seven years of famine, which shall be in the land of Egypt; that the land perish not through the famine. {perish...: Heb. be not cut off}
Pharaoh and his crew were vibing with the plan; it was looking solid.
And the thing was good in the eyes of Pharaoh, and in the eyes of all his servants.
Pharaoh asked his crew, “Can we find someone as lit as this? Someone with the Spirit of God?”
And Pharaoh said unto his servants, Can we find {such a one} as this {is}, a man in whom the Spirit of God {is}?
Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God showed you all this, you’re the most rizzed up and wise person around.”
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, {there is} none so discreet and wise as thou {art}:
You’re gonna run my house, and everyone will follow your lead, but I’ll still be the top dog.
Thou shalt be over my house, and according unto thy word shall all my people be ruled: only in the throne will I be greater than thou. {be ruled: Heb. be armed, or, kiss}
Pharaoh was like, "Yo, Joseph, you're the boss of all Egypt now. Goated move."
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, See, I have set thee over all the land of Egypt.
He took off his ring and tossed it on Joseph's finger, dressed him in fresh linen, and threw a gold chain around his neck. Lit!
And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck; {fine...: or, silk}
Joseph got to ride in the second-best chariot, and everyone was like, "Bow down!" He was the ruler of all Egypt. Savage.
And he made him to ride in the second chariot which he had; and they cried before him, Bow the knee: and he made him {ruler} over all the land of Egypt. {Bow...: or, Tender father: Heb. Abrech}
Pharaoh declared, "I'm Pharaoh, and no one can do anything without you in Egypt, no cap."
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, I {am} Pharaoh, and without thee shall no man lift up his hand or foot in all the land of Egypt.
Pharaoh named Joseph Zaphnath-paaneah and gave him Asenath, the priest's daughter, as his wife. Joseph was living large in Egypt.
And Pharaoh called Joseph's name Zaphnathpaaneah; and he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On. And Joseph went out over {all} the land of Egypt. {Zaphnathpaaneah: which in the Coptic signifies, A revealer of secrets, or, The man to whom secrets are revealed} {priest: or, prince}
Joseph was 30 when he rolled up to Pharaoh, then he went all around Egypt. Big moves, fr.
And Joseph {was} thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from the presence of Pharaoh, and went throughout all the land of Egypt.
During those seven years of abundance, the earth was popping off with harvests.
And in the seven plenteous years the earth brought forth by handfuls.
He collected all the food from those seven years and stored it in the cities, like a total boss.
And he gathered up all the food of the seven years, which were in the land of Egypt, and laid up the food in the cities: the food of the field, which {was} round about every city, laid he up in the same.
Joseph gathered so much grain it was like the sand at the beach, no cap, couldn’t even count it.
And Joseph gathered corn as the sand of the sea, very much, until he left numbering; for {it was} without number.
Before the famine rolled in, Joseph had two sons with Asenath, living that family life.
And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him. {priest: or, prince}
Joseph named his first kid Manasseh, 'cause God helped him forget all his struggles and fam vibes.
And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, {said he}, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house. {Manasseh: that is, Forgetting}
The second kid was named Ephraim, 'cause God made him thrive in a tough time, no cap.
And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction. {Ephraim: that is, Fruitful}
The seven years of good times in Egypt were over, fr.
And the seven years of plenteousness, that was in the land of Egypt, were ended.
Then the seven years of struggle kicked in, just as Joseph said; fam was rough everywhere, but Egypt had bread, lit.
And the seven years of dearth began to come, according as Joseph had said: and the dearth was in all lands; but in all the land of Egypt there was bread.
When everyone in Egypt was starving, they hit up Pharaoh for bread, and he was like, "Go see Joseph; do what he says."
And when all the land of Egypt was famished, the people cried to Pharaoh for bread: and Pharaoh said unto all the Egyptians, Go unto Joseph; what he saith to you, do.
The famine spread all over the earth, and Joseph opened the storehouses to sell to the Egyptians; it was savage in Egypt.
And the famine was over all the face of the earth: And Joseph opened all the storehouses, and sold unto the Egyptians; and the famine waxed sore in the land of Egypt. {all the storehouses: Heb. all wherein was}
People from all around came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph 'cause the famine was hitting everywhere, periodt.
And all countries came into Egypt to Joseph for to buy {corn}; because that the famine was {so} sore in all lands.