Genesis Chapter 24
So Abraham was getting up there in age, but God was totally hooking him up with all the solid vibes.
And Abraham was old, {and} well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. {well...: Heb. gone into days}
He hit up his main servant, the dude who ran everything, and said, “Yo, put your hand under my thigh for a sec.”
And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
“I need you to promise by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you won’t snag a wife for my son from any of these Canaanite girls here.”
And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
“You gotta bounce back to my homeland and find a wife for my son Isaac.”
But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
The servant was like, “What if she’s not down to come with me to this spot? Should I bring your son back to where you came from?”
And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
Abraham replied, “Nah, don’t bring my son back there, fr.”
And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
“The Lord God of heaven, who got me out of my dad's crib and from my homies, promised me this land for my kids; He’ll send His angel ahead of you, and you’ll get a wife for my son from there.”
The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
“If she isn’t down to roll with you, you’re released from this oath, but don’t bring my son back there.”
And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.
The servant put his hand under Abraham's thigh and swore to make it happen.
And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.
He took ten camels from his master and dipped out, 'cause he had all his boss’s stuff with him; he straight up cruised to Mesopotamia, to Nahor's city.
And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master {were} in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor. {for: or, and}
He made his camels kneel by the city well in the evening, when the girls come to fetch water.
And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, {even} the time that women go out to draw {water}. {that...: Heb. that women who draw water go forth}
He said, "Yo, Lord God of my master Abraham, bless my mission today and show some love to my guy Abraham."
And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
Check it, I’m chilling by the well, and the city girls are coming out to grab water.
Behold, I stand {here} by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:
Let’s see if the girl I ask to lower her pitcher says, "Drink," and also hooks up my camels with some water; that’ll be the one you chose for Isaac, no cap.
And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: {let the same be} she {that} thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
Right as he wrapped up that prayer, Rebekah came out, kid of Bethuel, Nahor’s wife’s child, with her pitcher on her shoulder.
And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.
The girl was super cute, totally a virgin, and she went down to the well, filled her pitcher, and came back up.
And the damsel {was} very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. {very...: Heb. good of countenance}
The servant ran over and said, "Can I sip a little water from your pitcher?"
And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.
She said, "Drink, my lord," and quickly lowered her pitcher to give him some water.
And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
After giving him a drink, she said, "I’ll fetch water for your camels too, until they’re all good to go."
And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw {water} for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.
She moved quick, emptied her pitcher into the trough, and dashed back to the well to get water for all his camels.
And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw {water}, and drew for all his camels.
The dude was just vibing, wondering if God was making his trip a win or nah.
And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
Once the camels were set, the dude pulled out a golden earring and two sick bracelets for her.
And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten {shekels} weight of gold; {earring: or, jewel for the forehead}
He asked, “Yo, whose daughter are you? Is there room at your fam’s crib for us?”
And said, Whose daughter {art} thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room {in} thy father's house for us to lodge in?
She answered, “I’m the daughter of Bethuel, Milcah’s son, who’s Nahor’s kid.”
And she said unto him, I {am} the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor.
She added, “We got lots of hay and food, plus space to crash.”
She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.
The dude bowed his head and showed major respect to the Lord.
And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD.
He was like, “Big ups to the Lord God of my boss Abraham, who’s always looking out for him with mercy and truth. I was on my way, and the Lord led me to my boss’s fam.”
And he said, Blessed {be} the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I {being} in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren.
The girl bounced back to her fam and told them all this.
And the damsel ran, and told {them of} her mother's house these things.
Rebekah had a bro named Laban, and he came running out to the dude at the well.
And Rebekah had a brother, and his name {was} Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.
When Laban peeped the earring and bracelets on his sis and heard her spill the tea about the dude, he rushed over to him, and there he was, chilling by the camels at the well.
And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well.
He was like, "Yo, come in, blessed one! Why you chilling outside? I got the crib all set up and room for your camels, no cap."
And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.
The dude stepped inside, took off the camels' gear, and hooked them up with some straw and food, plus water to wash his feet and his homies' feet.
And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that {were} with him.
They had food ready for him, but he was like, "Nah, I ain't eating till I spill the tea." And they were like, "Bet, go ahead."
And there was set {meat} before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on.
He said, "I’m just Abraham’s servant, vibing."
And he said, I {am} Abraham's servant.
"The Lord has blessed my boss big time; he's rolling deep with flocks, herds, stacks of silver and gold, plus servants and camels, fr."
And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.
"And my boss’s wifey, Sarah, had a kid for him when she was old, and he’s given him everything he owns."
And Sarah my master's wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath.
"My boss made me promise, saying, 'Don’t grab a wife for my son from the Canaanite girls around here.'"
And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:
"You gotta head to my fam’s place and find a wife for my son there."
But thou shalt go unto my father's house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son.
"I was like, 'What if the girl doesn’t wanna come with me?'"
And I said unto my master, Peradventure the woman will not follow me.
He said, "The Lord, who I roll with, will send his angel to guide you and make it lit; you’ll find a perfect wife for my son from my fam."
And he said unto me, The LORD, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father's house:
You’ll be chill with my oath when you vibe with my fam; if they don’t hook you up, you’re good, fr.
Then shalt thou be clear from {this} my oath, when thou comest to my kindred; and if they give not thee {one}, thou shalt be clear from my oath.
So I pulled up to the well today and said, "Yo, God of my dude Abraham, bless my grind."
And I came this day unto the well, and said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go:
I’m chilling by the water, and when the girl comes to fill her jar, I’ll ask her for a sip.
Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw {water}, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink;
If she’s like, “I got you, and I’ll fill up your camels too,” then that’s the one God picked for my boss's son.
And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: {let} the same {be} the woman whom the LORD hath appointed out for my master's son.
Before I even finished that thought, Rebekah showed up with her jar; she hit the well and I was like, “Let me sip, please.”
And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew {water}: and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee.
She rushed to help, lowered her jar, and said, “Drink up, and I’ll also give your camels some.” So I drank, and she filled the camels too.
And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her {shoulder}, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also.
I asked her, “Whose daughter are you?” She said, “I’m Bethuel’s kid, Nahor’s son’s daughter.” I put the earring on her and the bracelets on her wrists.
And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter {art} thou? And she said, The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor's son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands.
I bowed down, worshipped the Lord, and blessed the God of my dude Abraham for guiding me to find my boss's bro’s daughter.
And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter unto his son.
So if you’re gonna keep it real with my master, spill the tea; if not, let me know so I can bounce either way.
And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.
Then Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is all from the Lord; we can’t say anything good or bad.”
Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.
Yo, Rebekah is right here, scoop her up, and let her be your master’s son’s wifey, just like God said.
Behold, Rebekah {is} before thee, take {her}, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.
When Abraham's servant heard that, he dropped to the ground, totally vibing with the Lord.
And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, {bowing himself} to the earth.
The servant pulled out some bling—silver and gold, plus fresh fits—and blessed Rebekah, her bro, and her mom with dope gifts.
And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave {them} to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things. {jewels: Heb. vessels}
They all chilled, ate, and drank, and after a lit night, he was like, "Aight, send me back to my boss."
And they did eat and drink, he and the men that {were} with him, and tarried all night; and they rose up in the morning, and he said, Send me away unto my master.
Her bro and mom were like, "Can she vibe with us for a bit, like at least ten days?"
And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide with us {a few} days, at the least ten; after that she shall go. {a few...: or, a full year, or ten months}
He replied, "Don’t hold me back, the Lord's got my back; let me go to my master."
And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the LORD hath prospered my way; send me away that I may go to my master.
They were like, "Bet, let’s ask her what she wants."
And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth.
They called Rebekah and asked, "You down to roll with this dude?" She was like, "I’m down."
And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.
So they sent Rebekah, her nurse, Abraham’s servant, and his crew on their way.
And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham's servant, and his men.
They blessed Rebekah, saying, "You’re our sister, go be the mom of a whole squad, and let your fam take over the haters’ gates."
And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou {art} our sister, be thou {the mother} of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.
Rebekah and her squad hopped on camels and followed the dude; the servant took Rebekah and rolled out.
And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way.
Isaac was coming from the well Lahai–roi; he was chilling in the south.
And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country.
Isaac went out to vibe in the field at sunset, lifted his eyes, and peeped the camels rolling in.
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels {were} coming. {to meditate: or, to pray}
Rebekah saw Isaac and jumped off the camel, no cap.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
She asked the servant, "Who’s that dude walking in the field to meet us?" The servant said, "That’s my master." So, she put on a veil and covered up.
For she {had} said unto the servant, What man {is} this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant {had} said, It {is} my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.
The servant spilled all the tea to Isaac about what went down.
And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done.
Isaac took her into his mom Sarah’s tent, made Rebekah his wife, and he loved her; Isaac found peace after losing his mom.
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's {death}.