Genesis Chapter 22
So, after all that went down, God vibes with Abraham and shouts, "Yo, Abraham!" and he replies, "What’s popping? I’m here."
And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, {here} I {am}. {Behold...: Heb. Behold me}
God lays it out, "Take your one and only son Isaac, the dude you love, and trek to Moriah; I need you to get him ready for a burnt offering on a mountain I’ll point out to you."
And he said, Take now thy son, thine only {son} Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
At the crack of dawn, Abraham gears up, rolls with two of his homies and Isaac, chops the wood for the offering, and sets off to the spot God gave him the scoop on.
And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.
By the third day, Abraham glances up and spots the location from far off.
Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.
He tells his squad, "Stay chill with the donkey; me and the kid are gonna go worship and then we’ll roll back."
And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.
Abraham loads up the wood on Isaac, grabs fire and a blade, and they both stroll out together.
And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid {it} upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.
Isaac’s like, "Dad, I see the fire and the wood, but where’s the lamb for the offering?" and Abraham shoots back, "I got you, my dude."
And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here {am} I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where {is} the lamb for a burnt offering? {lamb: or, kid}
Abraham says, "God’s got the lamb sorted," and they keep moving forward together.
And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.
They arrive at the location God had tipped him off about; Abraham sets up an altar, arranges the wood, ties Isaac up, and lays him down on the altar.
And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.
Abraham reaches for the knife to do the thing with his son.
And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
Then the angel of the Lord calls out to Abraham from the sky and goes, "Yo, Abraham!" And he’s like, "I’m here, fam."
And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here {am} I.
The angel tells him, "Don’t lay a hand on the kid or do anything to him. I see you truly fear God, since you didn’t hold back your only son."
And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only {son} from me.
Abraham looks up and peeps a ram caught in some bushes. He goes and snatches it, offering it instead of his son. Major power move.
And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind {him} a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.
Abraham dubs that place Jehovah–jireh, meaning "God provides," and folks still say that today, vibes on the mountain.
And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said {to} this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen. {Jehovahjireh: that is, The Lord will see, or, provide}
The angel of the Lord calls Abraham again from the sky, like, "I’m back in the building."
And the angel of the LORD called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,
He says, "I swear by myself, the Lord, ‘cause you did this and didn’t hold back your one and only son:
And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only {son}:
I’m about to bless you in a major way, and your fam will be as numerous as the stars and the sand on the beach; your kids will dominate the gates of their enemies."
That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which {is} upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies; {shore: Heb. lip}
All nations will be blessed through your offspring, 'cause you listened to me, no cap.
And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.
So Abraham heads back to his squad, they get up and bounce to Beer-sheba, and he sets up shop there.
So Abraham returned unto his young men, and they rose up and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beersheba.
Later on, Abraham hears that Milcah had some kids with his brother Nahor.
And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;
Yo, Huz is the oldest, and Buz is his bro, plus Kemuel, the pops of Aram.
Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,
Then there’s Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph, and Bethuel, all hanging out.
And Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.
Bethuel brought out Rebekah; Milcah had eight kids for Nahor, Abraham's bro.
And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother. {Rebekah: Gr. Rebecca}
His side piece, named Reumah, also had Tebah, Gaham, Thahash, and Maachah.
And his concubine, whose name {was} Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.