Exodus Chapter 4
Moses was like, "For real, they aren't gonna believe me or listen. They'll just say, 'God ain't showing up for you.'"
And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The LORD hath not appeared unto thee.
Then God was like, "What’s in your grip?" Moses responded, "Just a stick, fam."
And the LORD said unto him, What {is} that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.
God told him to toss it on the ground. He did, and it turned into a snake; Moses was outta there, no cap.
And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.
So God said, "Catch it by the tail." Moses did, and it switched back to a rod in his grip, for real.
And the LORD said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand:
So they can vibe knowing that the Lord, the God of their ancestors like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, showed up for you.
That they may believe that the LORD God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath appeared unto thee.
God was like, "Shove your hand into your cloak." Moses did that, and when he pulled it out, it was all leprous like snow.
And the LORD said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy bosom. And he put his hand into his bosom: and when he took it out, behold, his hand {was} leprous as snow.
Then God said, "Do it again." He put his hand back in and pulled it out, and it was normal again, same as the first.
And he said, Put thine hand into thy bosom again. And he put his hand into his bosom again; and plucked it out of his bosom, and, behold, it was turned again as his {other} flesh.
If they don't believe the first miracle, they'll definitely vibe with the second one, periodt.
And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe thee, neither hearken to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign.
If they still don't vibe with these two miracles or listen to you, just take some river water and splash it on the dry land; it'll turn to blood, no cap.
And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe also these two signs, neither hearken unto thy voice, that thou shalt take of the water of the river, and pour {it} upon the dry {land}: and the water which thou takest out of the river shall become blood upon the dry {land}. {shall become: Heb. shall be and shall be}
Moses hit God with, "Honestly, I'm just not good at speaking, never was, and I'm kinda slow with my words."
And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I {am} not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I {am} slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. {eloquent: Heb. a man of words} {heretofore: Heb. since yesterday, nor since the third day}
Yo, God said, "Who crafted people's mouths? Who made the dumb, deaf, seeing, or blind? Ain’t I the Lord though?"
And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?
So bounce, I got you covered and I’ll teach you what to say, no cap.
Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.
Moses was like, "Aight, my Lord, just send whoever you wanna send."
And he said, O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the hand {of him whom} thou wilt send. {wilt: or, shouldest}
God got heated with Moses and said, "Ain't Aaron your bro? He’s got mad charisma. He’s coming to meet you and he'll be hyped to see you."
And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, {Is} not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.
You'll chat with him and give him the words, and I’ll be with both your mouths, teaching you what to do, periodt.
And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.
He’ll be your hype man for the people, and you'll be like God to him, fr.
And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, {even} he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God.
Hold onto this rod in your grip, you’ll perform some dope signs with it.
And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs.
Moses bounced back to Jethro, his father-in-law, and said, "Let me dip back to my fam in Egypt and see if they’re still alive." Jethro was like, "Go in peace, fam."
And Moses went and returned to Jethro his father in law, and said unto him, Let me go, I pray thee, and return unto my brethren which {are} in Egypt, and see whether they be yet alive. And Jethro said to Moses, Go in peace. {Jethro: Heb. Jether}
God told Moses in Midian, "Head back to Egypt; all the dudes who wanted you out are dead."
And the LORD said unto Moses in Midian, Go, return into Egypt: for all the men are dead which sought thy life.
Moses loaded up his wife and kids on a donkey and rolled back to Egypt, rod of God in hand, ready to pop off.
And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand.
God told Moses, "When you roll back to Egypt, showcase all those miracles in front of Pharaoh I gave you. But no cap, I’ll harden his heart so he won't let the squad go."
And the LORD said unto Moses, When thou goest to return into Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go.
Just hit up Pharaoh, "Yo, the Lord says Israel is my kid, my firstborn."
And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith the LORD, Israel {is} my son, {even} my firstborn:
"Let my son dip so he can serve me, or I’m coming for your son, your firstborn, fr."
And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, {even} thy firstborn.
On the journey at the inn, the Lord showed up and was ready to take him out.
And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him.
Zipporah grabbed a sharp stone, snipped her son’s foreskin, tossed it at his feet, and was like, "You’re a bloody husband to me."
Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast {it} at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband {art} thou to me. {sharp...: or, knife} {cast...: Heb. made it touch}
So, He let him go; then she said, "You’re a bloody husband because of the circumcision, no cap."
So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband {thou art}, because of the circumcision.
The Lord told Aaron, "Slide into the wilderness to meet Moses." He did, met him on God’s mountain, and gave him a kiss.
And the LORD said to Aaron, Go into the wilderness to meet Moses. And he went, and met him in the mount of God, and kissed him.
Moses dropped all the words from the Lord who sent him, plus all the signs he had to show.
And Moses told Aaron all the words of the LORD who had sent him, and all the signs which he had commanded him.
Then Moses and Aaron gathered all the elders of the Israel crew.
And Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Israel:
Aaron shared all the words the Lord had told Moses and performed the signs right in front of the people.
And Aaron spake all the words which the LORD had spoken unto Moses, and did the signs in the sight of the people.
The squad believed, and when they heard that the Lord showed up for the kids of Israel and saw their struggle, they were like, "Respect," and worshipped.
And the people believed: and when they heard that the LORD had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.