Exodus Chapter 32
So when the crew noticed that Moses was taking ages to come back from the mountain, they hit up Aaron and said, "Yo, make us some gods to guide us, 'cause we’re lost on where Moses dipped."
And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for {as for} this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
Aaron was like, "Bet, just take off the gold earrings from your fam—wives, sons, and daughters—and bring 'em to me."
And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which {are} in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring {them} unto me.
Everyone pulled off their gold earrings and brought 'em to Aaron.
And all the people brake off the golden earrings which {were} in their ears, and brought {them} unto Aaron.
He grabbed them and crafted a golden calf, and the people were like, "These are your gods, Israel, who got you out of Egypt."
And he received {them} at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These {be} thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
When Aaron peeped it, he built an altar in front of it and said, "Tomorrow's gonna be a celebration for the Lord."
And when Aaron saw {it}, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, To morrow {is} a feast to the LORD.
They woke up early the next day, gave burnt sacrifices, then chilled to eat and drink, and then they bounced to vibe.
And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.
The Lord told Moses, "Yo, you need to go down; your peeps, the ones you brought outta Egypt, are trippin'."
And the LORD said unto Moses, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted {themselves}:
They flipped quick on what I told them, making a golden calf, worshipping it, and sacrificing to it, saying, "These are your gods, Israel, who brought you outta Egypt."
They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These {be} thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
The Lord was all like, "I've peeped this crew, and they're hella stubborn."
And the LORD said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it {is} a stiffnecked people:
"Let me be, so I can get mad at them and wipe them out; then I'll make you into a dope nation."
Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation.
Moses said, "Yo God, why you so furious at your crew that you brought outta Egypt with big vibes and a strong hand?"
And Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand? {the LORD: Heb. the face of the LORD}
What are the Egyptians gonna say? That you brought them out just to wreck them in the mountains? Chill with that rage and rethink this plan against your people, no cap.
Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.
Remember your boys Abraham, Isaac, and Israel? You promised you’d grow their fam like the stars in the sky, and all this land you mentioned? That’s for their crew forever, periodt.
Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit {it} for ever.
And God was like, "Aight, I won’t go through with this evil plan for my people."
And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people.
Moses hiked down from the mountain, holding the two tablets of the testimony, all written on both sides, it was epic.
And Moses turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony {were} in his hand: the tables {were} written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other {were} they written.
Those tablets were straight from God, and the writing? Total divine vibes, etched right into them.
And the tables {were} the work of God, and the writing {was} the writing of God, graven upon the tables.
When Joshua heard the noise from the crowd, he told Moses, "Sounds like a war is about to kick off in the camp."
And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Moses, {There is} a noise of war in the camp.
Moses replied, "Nah, that ain't the sound of winning or losing, it’s just the vibe of them singing."
And he said, {It is} not the voice of {them that} shout for mastery, neither {is it} the voice of {them that} cry for being overcome: {but} the noise of {them that} sing do I hear. {being...: Heb. weakness}
As he closed in on the camp, he spotted the calf and the dancing, and Moses got heated, threw down the tablets, and smashed them at the mountain.
And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.
Then he took the calf they made, roasted it in the fire, ground it to dust, sprinkled it in the water, and made the Israelites drink it, fr.
And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt {it} in the fire, and ground {it} to powder, and strawed {it} upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink {of it}.
Moses was like, "Yo Aaron, what did these people do to you? You seriously brought this huge sin on them?"
And Moses said unto Aaron, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?
Aaron was like, "Chill with the anger, bro. You know these people are always on some wild stuff."
And Aaron said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they {are set} on mischief.
They told me, 'Make us some gods to lead us, 'cause we have no clue what happened to Moses, the dude who got us outta Egypt.'"
For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for {as for} this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
I was like, "Whoever's got gold, hand it over." So they gave it up, and I tossed it in the fire, and out popped this calf.
And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break {it} off. So they gave {it} me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.
When Moses saw the people were out here naked, Aaron had them looking sus in front of their enemies.
And when Moses saw that the people {were} naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto {their} shame among their enemies:) {their enemies: Heb. those that rose up against them}
Moses stood at the camp's entrance and shouted, "Who's rolling with the Lord? Come join me." All the Levites came through.
Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who {is} on the LORD'S side? {let him come} unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him.
He told them, "The Lord God of Israel says, 'Grab your swords, go from gate to gate, and take out your bros and neighbors.'"
And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, {and} go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour.
The Levites followed Moses’ orders, and that day about three thousand people fell.
And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men.
Moses said, "Get yourselves right with the Lord today, every man with his son and bro, so you can receive blessings."
For Moses had said, Consecrate yourselves to day to the LORD, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day. {For Moses...: or, And Moses said, Consecrate yourselves to day to the LORD, because every man hath been against his brother, etc} {Consecrate...: Heb. Fill your hands}
The next day, Moses told the people, "Y'all really messed up, and now I'm heading up to the Lord to see if I can make things right for you."
And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the LORD; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.
Moses went back to the Lord and said, "Yo, these people totally messed up and made gold gods. That's sus."
And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.
But now, if you're gonna forgive their sins, do it; if not, just take me outta your book, please.
Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin-; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.
The Lord was like, "Anyone who sins against me, I’m gonna blot them outta my book, no cap."
And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book.
So now, go lead the people to that spot I told you about; my Angel's got your back, but when I roll up, I’ll deal with their sins.
Therefore now go, lead the people unto {the place} of which I have spoken unto thee: behold, mine Angel shall go before thee: nevertheless in the day when I visit I will visit their sin upon them.
The Lord hit the people with a plague 'cause they made that calf Aaron whipped up.
And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made.