Deuteronomy Chapter 28
So if you pay attention and vibe with what the Lord's saying, plus follow all His commands today, the Lord will elevate you above all the nations, no cap.
And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe {and} to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:
All these blessings are gonna come your way and hit different if you truly listen to the Lord's voice, fr.
And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.
You’re gonna see blessings in the city and in the fields, that's just real talk.
Blessed {shalt} thou {be} in the city, and blessed {shalt} thou {be} in the field.
Your fam's gonna be blessed, your crops are gonna pop off, and your livestock? Straight fire.
Blessed {shall be} the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
Your basket and your supplies will be blessed, believe that.
Blessed {shall be} thy basket and thy store. {store: or, dough, or, kneadingtroughs}
You’ll be blessed when you come in and blessed when you head out, periodt.
Blessed {shalt} thou {be} when thou comest in, and blessed {shalt} thou {be} when thou goest out.
The Lord will make your enemies who stand against you get wrecked right in front of you; they’ll come at you one way and bounce in seven different directions.
The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways.
The Lord’s gonna drop blessings in your storage and everything you touch; He’ll bless you in the land He’s giving you, no question.
The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. {storehouses: or, barns}
The Lord's making you a holy squad just for Him, like He promised, if you stick to His commands and walk in His ways.
The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways.
Everybody on this earth will see you reppin’ the Lord’s name, and they’ll be shook.
And all people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the LORD; and they shall be afraid of thee.
The Lord's about to bless you with a ton of goods, your fam, your livestock, and your crops in this promised land. No cap.
And the LORD shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers to give thee. {in goods: or, for good} {body: Heb. belly}
The Lord's gonna hook you up with some solid treasure, rain for your land when the timing's right, and everything you work for will be blessed: you’ll lend to nations, no need to borrow.
The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow.
The Lord's making you the top dog, not the underdog; you’ll be on top as long as you vibe with His commandments today, fr.
And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do {them}:
Don’t stray from what I’m dropping on you today, left or right, or chase after other gods, periodt.
And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, {to} the right hand, or {to} the left, to go after other gods to serve them.
But if you ignore the Lord’s voice and don’t follow His guidelines today, all these bad vibes will hit you hard, taking you down.
But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:
You’ll be cursed in the city and cursed in the fields, no lie.
Cursed {shalt} thou {be} in the city, and cursed {shalt} thou {be} in the field.
Your basket and your stash will be cursed, for real.
Cursed {shall be} thy basket and thy store.
The fruit of your fam, your land, your cattle, and your sheep will be cursed, straight facts.
Cursed {shall be} the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy land, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep.
You’ll be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out, that's real.
Cursed {shalt} thou {be} when thou comest in, and cursed {shalt} thou {be} when thou goest out.
The Lord's gonna send curses, stress, and rebuke on everything you try to do until you’re done for, all because you turned your back on Him.
The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke, in all that thou settest thine hand unto for to do, until thou be destroyed, and until thou perish quickly; because of the wickedness of thy doings, whereby thou hast forsaken me. {for...: Heb. which thou wouldest do}
The Lord's gonna have that sickness stick to you, until you’re wiped off the land you’re trying to claim. No cap.
The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.
The Lord's hitting you with all sorts of sickness, fever, and bad vibes, and your enemies are gonna chase you down until you’re finished.
The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish. {sword: or, drought}
Your sky's gonna be like brass, and the ground under you? Straight iron. Sus.
And thy heaven that {is} over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee {shall be} iron.
The Lord's turning your rain into dust; it's gonna fall from the sky until you’re totally wrecked.
The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
The Lord's gonna have you getting wrecked by your enemies: you’ll roll out one way and dip in seven directions, getting sent to all the kingdoms.
The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth. {removed: Heb. for a removing}
Your body’s gonna be food for the birds and beasts, and nobody's gonna scare them away. Savage.
And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray {them} away.
The Lord's gonna hit you with the nasty stuff from Egypt, and you won’t be able to heal from it.
The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
The Lord's bringing madness and blindness, leaving your heart shook.
The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:
You’ll be feeling around at noon like a blind person in the dark, and you won’t be moving ahead; it's just struggle after struggle, and no one's gonna save you.
And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save {thee}.
You’ll get engaged to a girl, but somebody else will swoop in; you’ll build a house but never get to live in it, and plant a vineyard but won’t get to pick the grapes. Periodt.
Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: thou shalt build an house, and thou shalt not dwell therein: thou shalt plant a vineyard, and shalt not gather the grapes thereof. {gather...: Heb. profane, or, use it as common meat}
Your ox gets taken right in front of you, and you can’t even eat it: your donkey gets snatched, no cap, and your sheep are given to your enemies, so good luck getting them back.
Thine ox {shall be} slain before thine eyes, and thou shalt not eat thereof: thine ass {shall be} violently taken away from before thy face, and shall not be restored to thee: thy sheep {shall be} given unto thine enemies, and thou shalt have none to rescue {them}. {shall not...: Heb. shall not return to thee}
Your kids are gonna be taken by other people, and you'll just be there feeling all the feels all day long; you won't even have the strength to do anything.
Thy sons and thy daughters {shall be} given unto another people, and thine eyes shall look, and fail {with longing} for them all the day long: and {there shall be} no might in thine hand.
The fruits of your hard work? A nation you don’t even know is gonna feast on them; you’ll just be stuck feeling oppressed and crushed forever, fr.
The fruit of thy land, and all thy labours, shall a nation which thou knowest not eat up; and thou shalt be only oppressed and crushed alway:
You’ll be losing it over what you see, periodt.
So that thou shalt be mad for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.
The Lord's gonna hit you hard in the knees and legs with a nasty sore that won't heal, from your feet to your head, savage.
The LORD shall smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head.
The Lord will take you and your king to a nation you and your fam have never seen; there you’ll be serving other gods made of wood and stone.
The LORD shall bring thee, and thy king which thou shalt set over thee, unto a nation which neither thou nor thy fathers have known; and there shalt thou serve other gods, wood and stone.
You’ll be a total shock, a saying, and a joke among all the nations where the Lord takes you.
And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all nations whither the LORD shall lead thee.
You’ll toss a ton of seeds in the field but only gather a little because the locusts are gonna eat it all up.
Thou shalt carry much seed out into the field, and shalt gather {but} little in; for the locust shall consume it.
You’ll plant vineyards and tend to them, but you won’t even get to drink the wine or pick the grapes; the worms will just munch them away.
Thou shalt plant vineyards, and dress {them}, but shalt neither drink {of} the wine, nor gather {the grapes}; for the worms shall eat them.
You’ll have olive trees everywhere, but you won’t be able to use the oil; your olives will just drop their fruit.
Thou shalt have olive trees throughout all thy coasts, but thou shalt not anoint {thyself} with the oil; for thine olive shall cast {his fruit}.
You gonna have kids, but they won’t vibe with you; they’re gonna get taken away, no cap.
Thou shalt beget sons and daughters, but thou shalt not enjoy them; for they shall go into captivity. {thou shalt not...: Heb. they shall not be thine}
All your trees and fruit? Yeah, the locusts are gonna eat that whole vibe.
All thy trees and fruit of thy land shall the locust consume. {consume: or, possess}
The outsider living with you is gonna be way up high, while you’re down here, fr.
The stranger that {is} within thee shall get up above thee very high; and thou shalt come down very low.
He’s gonna lend you stuff, but you won’t be able to lend back; he’s in charge, and you’re just the sidekick.
He shall lend to thee, and thou shalt not lend to him: he shall be the head, and thou shalt be the tail.
All these curses are gonna chase you down and mess you up, ‘cause you didn’t listen to God’s rules, periodt.
Moreover all these curses shall come upon thee, and shall pursue thee, and overtake thee, till thou be destroyed; because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee:
These things will be a sign and a wonder for you and your fam forever, no cap.
And they shall be upon thee for a sign and for a wonder, and upon thy seed for ever.
Since you didn’t serve God with joy and good vibes for all the blessings you got, that’s on you.
Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all {things};
So, you’ll end up serving your enemies that God sends your way, dealing with hunger and thirst, and they’ll put a heavy load on you until you’re done for.
Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all {things}: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee.
God’s gonna send a nation against you from way far away, as quick as an eagle; a crew whose language you won’t understand.
The LORD shall bring a nation against thee from far, from the end of the earth, {as swift} as the eagle flieth; a nation whose tongue thou shalt not understand; {understand: Heb. hear}
A nation that’s savage and won’t care about old folks or show love to the young ones.
A nation of fierce countenance, which shall not regard the person of the old, nor shew favour to the young: {of fierce...: Heb. strong of face}
You gonna munch on the fruit from your cattle and land till you're wiped out, and there ain't gonna be no corn, wine, or oil left, fr.
And he shall eat the fruit of thy cattle, and the fruit of thy land, until thou be destroyed: which {also} shall not leave thee {either} corn, wine, or oil, {or} the increase of thy kine, or flocks of thy sheep, until he have destroyed thee.
He’s gonna roll up on all your gates till your tall walls come crashing down, the ones you thought were secure, 'cause that's what the Lord gave you, periodt.
And he shall besiege thee in all thy gates, until thy high and fenced walls come down, wherein thou trustedst, throughout all thy land: and he shall besiege thee in all thy gates throughout all thy land, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.
You’ll end up eating your own kids, the flesh of your sons and daughters, 'cause your enemies are gonna stress you out in the siege, no cap.
And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee: {body: Heb. belly}
Even the softest person among you, like super delicate, will have a bad vibe towards his bro, his wife, and the kids he’s got left.
{So that} the man {that is} tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave:
He won't even share any of his kids' flesh that he’s munching on, 'cause he’ll be outta options during the siege, fr.
So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat: because he hath nothing left him in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee in all thy gates.
The dainty woman among you, who wouldn't even step on the ground, will have a bad vibe towards her husband and her kids, no cap.
The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,
She’ll be sus about her baby coming out and her children she’ll have, 'cause she’ll secretly eat them in the siege when times get tough.
And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all {things} secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates. {young one: Heb. afterbirth}
If you don’t follow all the rules in this book and respect that epic name, THE LORD THY GOD, you’re trippin’.
If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;
Then the Lord's gonna hit you with some wild plagues and long-lasting sicknesses, like, really bad vibes, no cap.
Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, {even} great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance.
Plus, He’s gonna throw all the diseases of Egypt at you, the ones you were scared of, and they’ll stick to you.
Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee.
All the sickness and plagues not in this law? The Lord's gonna hit you with those until you're totally done, no cap.
Also every sickness, and every plague, which {is} not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring upon thee, until thou be destroyed. {bring: Heb. cause to ascend}
You’ll be left with barely anyone, when you used to be like the stars, fam; all 'cause you didn’t listen to God’s voice.
And ye shall be left few in number, whereas ye were as the stars of heaven for multitude; because thou wouldest not obey the voice of the LORD thy God.
Just like the Lord was hyped to bless you and make you grow, He’ll also be hyped to wipe you out and leave you with nothing; you’ll get snatched from the land you were trying to take.
And it shall come to pass, {that} as the LORD rejoiced over you to do you good, and to multiply you; so the LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you, and to bring you to nought; and ye shall be plucked from off the land whither thou goest to possess it.
The Lord will scatter you everywhere, from one side of the earth to the other; there, you’ll be serving other gods, made of wood and stone, which you and your fam don’t even know.
And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the earth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods, which neither thou nor thy fathers have known, {even} wood and stone.
Among those nations, you’ll find no chill, your feet won’t have any rest; the Lord will give you a shaky heart, tired eyes, and a heavy mind, fr.
And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest: but the LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind:
Your life will feel super uncertain; you’ll be scared day and night, with zero assurance about your life, periodt.
And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life:
In the morning, you'll be like, “I wish it were night!” and at night, you’ll be saying, “I wish it were morning!” 'cause of the fear in your heart and what you see with your eyes.
In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.
The Lord will send you back to Egypt on ships, and you won’t see it again; there, you’ll be sold to your enemies as slaves, and no one will wanna buy you.
And the LORD shall bring thee into Egypt again with ships, by the way whereof I spake unto thee, Thou shalt see it no more again: and there ye shall be sold unto your enemies for bondmen and bondwomen, and no man shall buy {you}.