Deuteronomy Chapter 27
So Moses and the crew were like, "Ayo, make sure to follow all the rules I’m laying down for you today, no cap."
And Moses with the elders of Israel commanded the people, saying, Keep all the commandments which I command you this day.
Once you cross over the Jordan into the land that God’s hooking you up with, set up some massive stones and make them look fresh with plaster.
And it shall be on the day when ye shall pass over Jordan unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, that thou shalt set thee up great stones, and plaister them with plaister:
After you cross over, write all the words of this law on those stones so you can vibe in the land flowing with milk and honey, just like God promised your fam.
And thou shalt write upon them all the words of this law, when thou art passed over, that thou mayest go in unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, a land that floweth with milk and honey; as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee.
So when you’ve crossed the Jordan, set up these stones I’m telling you about today on Mount Ebal and plaster them up nice.
Therefore it shall be when ye be gone over Jordan, {that} ye shall set up these stones, which I command you this day, in mount Ebal, and thou shalt plaister them with plaister.
Craft an altar for the Lord your God using stones, but for real, don’t mess with iron tools on them, that’s sus.
And there shalt thou build an altar unto the LORD thy God, an altar of stones: thou shalt not lift up {any} iron {tool} upon them.
Create the altar for the Lord your God from whole stones and offer burnt offerings there, fr.
Thou shalt build the altar of the LORD thy God of whole stones: and thou shalt offer burnt offerings thereon unto the LORD thy God:
Bring peace offerings, eat there, and just have a good time in front of the Lord your God.
And thou shalt offer peace offerings, and shalt eat there, and rejoice before the LORD thy God.
Make sure to write all the words of this law super clear on the stones, periodt.
And thou shalt write upon the stones all the words of this law very plainly.
Moses and the Levite priests called out to all Israel, "Yo, listen up; today you’re officially the people of the Lord your God."
And Moses and the priests the Levites spake unto all Israel, saying, Take heed, and hearken, O Israel; this day thou art become the people of the LORD thy God.
You gotta listen to the voice of the Lord your God and follow all His commands and laws I’m giving you today, for real.
Thou shalt therefore obey the voice of the LORD thy God, and do his commandments and his statutes, which I command thee this day.
So Moses was like, "Hey fam, we need to have a chat today."
And Moses charged the people the same day, saying,
These peeps will vibe on Mount Gerizim to bless everyone when y’all cross the Jordan: Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Joseph, and Benjamin.
These shall stand upon mount Gerizim to bless the people, when ye are come over Jordan; Simeon, and Levi, and Judah, and Issachar, and Joseph, and Benjamin:
And these ones are gonna chill on Mount Ebal to throw some shade; Reuben, Gad, Asher, Zebulun, Dan, and Naphtali.
And these shall stand upon mount Ebal to curse; Reuben, Gad, and Asher, and Zebulun, Dan, and Naphtali. {to curse: Heb. for a cursing}
The Levites are gonna yell out loud and proud to all the homies in Israel.
And the Levites shall speak, and say unto all the men of Israel with a loud voice,
Ayo, cursed be anyone who carves a statue or image, total sus move against the Lord, that’s just whack. And the crowd's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} the man that maketh {any} graven or molten image, an abomination unto the LORD, the work of the hands of the craftsman, and putteth {it} in {a} secret {place}. And all the people shall answer and say, Amen.
Cursed be the one who disrespects their dad or mom. And everyone’s like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Cursed be the dude who shifts his neighbor’s boundary line. And all the peeps shout, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that removeth his neighbour's landmark. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Cursed be the one who leads the blind off the path. And the people say, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that maketh the blind to wander out of the way. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Cursed be the one who messes with the judgment for the outsiders, the orphans, and the widows. And the crowd's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherless, and widow. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Cursed be the one who gets with their dad's wife; that’s just wild. And all the people say, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that lieth with his father's wife; because he uncovereth his father's skirt. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you vibe with any beast, that's cursed energy. Everyone's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you’re out here with your sis, that’s sus, fam. Everyone’s like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you chill with your mother-in-law like that, that’s cursed, no cap. Everyone's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that lieth with his mother in law. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you sneak attack your neighbor, that's savage behavior. Everyone's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that smiteth his neighbour secretly. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you take cash to take out an innocent, that’s straight up cursed, fr. Everyone's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that taketh reward to slay an innocent person. And all the people shall say, Amen.
If you don’t keep it 100 with these laws, that’s on you, fam. Everyone's like, "Amen."
Cursed {be} he that confirmeth not {all} the words of this law to do them. And all the people shall say, Amen.