Acts Chapter 8
So Saul was totally down with that whole death scene. During that time, there was some serious persecution against the Jerusalem squad, and they got spread out all over Judea and Samaria, except for the apostles.
And Saul was consenting unto his death. And at that time there was a great persecution against the church which was at Jerusalem; and they were all scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judaea and Samaria, except the apostles.
Devout homies carried Stephen to his final resting place and were really feeling their grief.
And devout men carried Stephen {to his burial}, and made great lamentation over him.
Saul was out there stirring up trouble in the church, rolling up in every crib, and dragging men and women off to jail.
As for Saul, he made havock of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed {them} to prison.
Those who got scattered were out here spreading the word everywhere, no cap.
Therefore they that were scattered abroad went every where preaching the word.
Then Philip dipped down to Samaria and kicked off his preaching about Christ, and it was super lit.
Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria, and preached Christ unto them.
The people were all in, vibing hard with what Philip was saying, peeping and hearing the miracles he was dropping.
And the people with one accord gave heed unto those things which Philip spake, hearing and seeing the miracles which he did.
Unclean spirits were screaming and bouncing outta people, and many who were sick or lame got healed, fr.
For unclean spirits, crying with loud voice, came out of many that were possessed {with them}: and many taken with palsies, and that were lame, were healed.
And the city was straight buzzing with joy.
And there was great joy in that city.
But there was this dude named Simon, who used to be all about that sorcery life, and he had the Samaritans shook, making himself seem like a big deal.
But there was a certain man, called Simon, which beforetime in the same city used sorcery, and bewitched the people of Samaria, giving out that himself was some great one:
Everyone was peeping him, from the least to the greatest, saying, "This dude is the great power of God."
To whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, This man is the great power of God.
They were lowkey vibing with him 'cause he had them shook for a hot minute with his magic tricks.
And to him they had regard, because that of long time he had bewitched them with sorceries.
But when they caught the vibe from Philip talking about the kingdom of God and Jesus, they got baptized, both the dudes and the gals.
But when they believed Philip preaching the things concerning the kingdom of God, and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women.
Even Simon jumped in on it and believed too; after getting baptized, he was all about Philip, amazed by the miracles and signs popping off.
Then Simon himself believed also: and when he was baptized, he continued with Philip, and wondered, beholding the miracles and signs which were done. {miracles...: Gr. signs and great miracles}
When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria was catching on to the word of God, they sent Peter and John to check it out.
Now when the apostles which were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John:
When they rolled up, they prayed for them to receive the Holy Ghost, no cap.
Who, when they were come down, prayed for them, that they might receive the Holy Ghost:
(At that moment, the Holy Ghost hadn’t hit any of them yet; they were just baptized in Jesus’ name.)
(For as yet he was fallen upon none of them: only they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.)
Then they laid hands on them, and bam, they got the Holy Ghost.
Then laid they {their} hands on them, and they received the Holy Ghost.
When Simon peeped that the Holy Ghost was coming through the apostles’ hands, he was like, “Let me throw some cash for that.”
And when Simon saw that through laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money,
He said, “Yo, give me that power so whoever I touch gets the Holy Ghost too.”
Saying, Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.
But Peter was like, “Nah fam, you can keep your money; you can't buy God's gift with cash.”
But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.
You’re not vibing with this situation, fam, 'cause your heart ain't right with God, no cap.
Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God.
So, like, repent of your wickedness and pray to God, maybe He'll forgive you, fr.
Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.
I can see you’re stuck in some serious bitterness and bad vibes.
For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and {in} the bond of iniquity.
Then Simon was like, "Yo, pray to the Lord for me so none of this stuff hits me."
Then answered Simon, and said, Pray ye to the Lord for me, that none of these things which ye have spoken come upon me.
After they testified and preached the Lord's message, they bounced back to Jerusalem, spreading the gospel in all the Samaritan spots.
And they, when they had testified and preached the word of the Lord, returned to Jerusalem, and preached the gospel in many villages of the Samaritans.
The angel of the Lord hit up Philip saying, "Get up and head south to the road from Jerusalem to Gaza, it's a desert vibe."
And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert.
He got up and went, and saw this Ethiopian dude, a big deal under Queen Candace, who's in charge of her treasure, coming to worship in Jerusalem.
And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship,
He was on his way back, chilling in his chariot, reading the prophet Esaias.
Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet.
Then the Spirit was like, "Yo, go up and join that chariot."
Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.
Philip ran up to him and heard him reading Esaias, and asked, "You getting what you’re reading?"
And Philip ran thither to {him}, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest?
He was like, "How am I supposed to get this, unless someone helps me out?" So he asked Philip to come chill with him.
And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.
The scripture he was reading was wild: "He was led like a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb that just vibes, he didn’t say a word."
The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth:
In his low-key moment, his judgment was totally ignored: who’s gonna talk about his legacy? His life got taken, no cap.
In his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth.
The eunuch hit up Philip, asking, "Yo, who’s this prophet talking about? Is it him or someone else?"
And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the prophet this? of himself, or of some other man?
Then Philip opened up, starting from that same scripture, and told him all about Jesus.
Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus.
As they were rolling, they found some water, and the eunuch was like, "Ayo, there’s water! What’s stopping me from getting baptized?"
And as they went on {their} way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, {here is} water; what doth hinder me to be baptized?
Philip replied, "If you believe with all your heart, you can." The eunuch was like, "Bet! I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God."
And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
He told the chariot to chill, and they both dipped into the water—Philip and the eunuch—then he baptized him.
And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him.
After they came up from the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away, and the eunuch couldn’t see him anymore, but he was vibing on his way.
And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing.
Philip popped up in Azotus, and as he cruised through, he preached in all the cities until he hit Cesarea.
But Philip was found at Azotus: and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea.