Acts Chapter 19
So, while Apollos was vibing in Corinth, Paul cruised through the upper coast and rolled into Ephesus, linking up with some disciples, no cap.
And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples,
He straight up asked them, "Yo, have you caught that Holy Ghost action since you believed?" They were like, "Nah, we haven't even peeped the Holy Ghost."
He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost.
Paul was like, "So what were you baptized into then?" They hit back with, "John’s baptism, for real."
And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John's baptism.
Paul said, "John was all about that repentance grind, telling folks to trust in the one coming after him—Jesus Christ, the GOAT."
Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus.
When they got that, they got baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus, periodt.
When they heard {this}, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.
Then Paul laid hands on them, and bam! The Holy Ghost hit them; they started speaking in tongues and prophesying, lit!
And when Paul had laid {his} hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.
There were about twelve dudes total, straight facts.
And all the men were about twelve.
He rolled into the synagogue and was spitting wisdom for three months, debating and convincing about the kingdom of God—pop off!
And he went into the synagogue, and spake boldly for the space of three months, disputing and persuading the things concerning the kingdom of God.
But when some folks got stubborn and started badmouthing that way in front of the crowd, he dipped and split the disciples, teaching daily at Tyrannus' spot.
But when divers were hardened, and believed not, but spake evil of that way before the multitude, he departed from them, and separated the disciples, disputing daily in the school of one Tyrannus.
This carried on for two years, so everyone in Asia heard the word of the Lord Jesus, both Jews and Greeks, fr.
And this continued by the space of two years; so that all they which dwelt in Asia heard the word of the Lord Jesus, both Jews and Greeks.
God was doing some insane miracles through Paul, no cap.
And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul:
People were grabbing handkerchiefs from him, and sick peeps were getting healed, fr.
So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.
Some shady Jews tried to kick out demons by using Jesus' name, saying, "We vibe check you by Jesus whom Paul talks about."
Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth.
There were seven sons of this dude Sceva, a Jew and priest, who were all about that life.
And there were seven sons of {one} Sceva, a Jew, {and} chief of the priests, which did so.
The evil spirit was like, "I know Jesus and Paul, but who even are you guys?"
And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye?
Then the guy with the evil spirit jumped them and wrecked them, so they dipped out of the house all bruised and naked.
And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.
Everyone in Ephesus, Jews and Greeks alike, caught wind of this, which gave them major chills; Jesus' name was getting serious props.
And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.
A bunch of believers rolled up, confessed their wrongs, and kept it real.
And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds.
Many who were into magic brought their books, burned them right in front of everyone, and realized they were worth a ton, like fifty thousand silver coins.
Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all {men}: and they counted the price of them, and found {it} fifty thousand {pieces} of silver.
The word of God was spreading hard and making major waves, no doubt.
So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.
After all that went down, Paul was like, "I’m feeling the vibes," and decided to cruise to Jerusalem after hitting Macedonia and Achaia, but he also wanted to peep Rome, no cap.
After these things were ended, Paul purposed in the spirit, when he had passed through Macedonia and Achaia, to go to Jerusalem, saying, After I have been there, I must also see Rome.
So he sent two of his homies, Timotheus and Erastus, to Macedonia while he kicked it in Asia for a bit.
So he sent into Macedonia two of them that ministered unto him, Timotheus and Erastus; but he himself stayed in Asia for a season.
At the same time, things were getting kinda wild about that whole deal.
And the same time there arose no small stir about that way.
There was this dude named Demetrius, a silversmith who made silver shrines for Diana, and he was stacking cash, fr.
For a certain {man} named Demetrius, a silversmith, which made silver shrines for Diana, brought no small gain unto the craftsmen;
He gathered the other workers and was like, "Yo, you know we’re thriving because of this craft."
Whom he called together with the workmen of like occupation, and said, Sirs, ye know that by this craft we have our wealth.
Plus, you see and hear that not only in Ephesus but basically all over Asia, Paul has been convincing people that those homemade gods are sus.
Moreover ye see and hear, that not alone at Ephesus, but almost throughout all Asia, this Paul hath persuaded and turned away much people, saying that they be no gods, which are made with hands:
So not only is our hustle at risk of being canceled, but also the temple of the legendary goddess Diana might get disrespected, and her glory is on the line, since everyone in Asia and beyond worships her.
So that not only this our craft is in danger to be set at nought; but also that the temple of the great goddess Diana should be despised, and her magnificence should be destroyed, whom all Asia and the world worshippeth. {set at nought: or, brought into disrepute, or, contempt}
When they heard all this, they got super mad and shouted, "Diana of the Ephesians is lit!"
And when they heard {these sayings}, they were full of wrath, and cried out, saying, Great {is} Diana of the Ephesians.
The whole city was shook and confused; they grabbed Gaius and Aristarchus, Paul’s travel buddies from Macedonia, and stormed into the theater like a mob.
And the whole city was filled with confusion: and having caught Gaius and Aristarchus, men of Macedonia, Paul's companions in travel, they rushed with one accord into the theatre.
When Paul tried to join the scene, the disciples were like, "Nah, bro, you can’t go in there."
And when Paul would have entered in unto the people, the disciples suffered him not.
Some big shots from Asia, who were tight with him, hit him up, saying he shouldn’t roll into the theater, fr.
And certain of the chief of Asia, which were his friends, sent unto him, desiring {him} that he would not adventure himself into the theatre.
So some were yelling one thing, and others were on a different vibe; the crowd was all over the place, and most didn’t even know why they showed up.
Some therefore cried one thing, and some another: for the assembly was confused; and the more part knew not wherefore they were come together.
They pulled Alexander outta the crowd, the Jews pushing him forward. He was trying to talk to the peeps, waving his hands like, "Yo, listen up!"
And they drew Alexander out of the multitude, the Jews putting him forward. And Alexander beckoned with the hand, and would have made his defence unto the people.
But once they saw he was a Jew, everyone went wild for like two hours, screaming, "Great is Diana of the Ephesians!"
But when they knew that he was a Jew, all with one voice about the space of two hours cried out, Great {is} Diana of the Ephesians.
When the town clerk finally calmed them down, he said, "Yo, Ephesus fam, who doesn’t know our city is all about worshiping the dope goddess Diana and that statue that fell from Jupiter?"
And when the townclerk had appeased the people, he said, {Ye} men of Ephesus, what man is there that knoweth not how that the city of the Ephesians is a worshipper of the great goddess Diana, and of the {image} which fell down from Jupiter? {a worshipper: Gr. the temple keeper}
So since we can’t really argue with that, maybe chill out and don’t do anything reckless, no cap.
Seeing then that these things cannot be spoken against, ye ought to be quiet, and to do nothing rashly.
You brought these guys here, and they’re not robbing temples or trashing your goddess, so what’s the deal?
For ye have brought hither these men, which are neither robbers of churches, nor yet blasphemers of your goddess.
If Demetrius and his crew got beef with anyone, the law’s here to handle it; let them sort it out, bet.
Wherefore if Demetrius, and the craftsmen which are with him, have a matter against any man, the law is open, and there are deputies: let them implead one another. {the law...: or, the court days are kept}
But if you wanna talk about other stuff, keep it in a legit meeting, periodt.
But if ye enquire any thing concerning other matters, it shall be determined in a lawful assembly. {lawful: or, ordinary}
We’re risking getting called out for today’s chaos, and we can’t even explain why this whole thing went down.
For we are in danger to be called in question for this day's uproar, there being no cause whereby we may give an account of this concourse.
And when he said that, he was like, "Alright fam, we’re done here," and let everyone bounce.
And when he had thus spoken, he dismissed the assembly.