Numbers Chapter 5
So the Lord was like, "Moses, peep this,"
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Tell the Israelites to boot anyone with leprosy, anyone who's got issues, or anyone who's touched a dead body, no cap.
Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath an issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead:
Both the guys and girls gotta be sent away; don't let them ruin the camp where I vibe.
Both male and female shall ye put out, without the camp shall ye put them; that they defile not their camps, in the midst whereof I dwell.
The Israelites followed God’s word and kicked them out of the camp, just like the Lord instructed Moses, periodt.
And the children of Israel did so, and put them out without the camp: as the LORD spake unto Moses, so did the children of Israel.
Then the Lord was like, "Moses, check this out,"
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Tell the Israelites that if someone messes up and sins against the Lord, they gotta keep it real.
Speak unto the children of Israel, When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to do a trespass against the LORD, and that person be guilty;
They need to own their mistakes, pay back what they owe, plus 20% on top, and give it to the person they wronged.
Then they shall confess their sin which they have done: and he shall recompense his trespass with the principal thereof, and add unto it the fifth {part} thereof, and give {it} unto {him} against whom he hath trespassed.
But if the dude ain't got anyone to pay back, he can give it to the Lord, like, to the priest, along with a ram for atonement; that’s how you fix it.
But if the man have no kinsman to recompense the trespass unto, let the trespass be recompensed unto the LORD, {even} to the priest; beside the ram of the atonement, whereby an atonement shall be made for him.
And everything the Israelites hand over to the priest from their holy stuff? That all belongs to him, fr.
And every offering of all the holy things of the children of Israel, which they bring unto the priest, shall be his. {offering: or, heave offering}
Each dude's holy stuff is his own; whatever anyone gives to the priest, that’s all his, no cap.
And every man's hallowed things shall be his: whatsoever any man giveth the priest, it shall be his.
Yo, the Lord hit up Moses and said,
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Tell the crew of Israel, if a dude’s wife is acting sus and getting around,
Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man's wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him,
And a man gets with her on the low, while her husband’s in the dark, and she’s messed up, but no one’s caught it;
And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and {there be} no witness against her, neither she be taken {with the manner};
And jealousy hits him hard, feeling some type of way about his wife being shady, or if he’s just jealous for no reason:
And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:
Then the dude should take his wife to the priest, and he’s gotta bring her a snack offering, just a little barley meal; no oil or frankincense, 'cause it’s a jealousy thing, a reminder of the tea.
Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth {part} of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it {is} an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance.
The priest will bring her close and set her in front of the Lord:
And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the LORD:
The priest will scoop some holy water in a clay jar; he’ll grab some dust from the tabernacle floor and toss it in the water:
And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put {it} into the water:
Then the priest will put the woman in front of the Lord, take off her head covering, and present her the reminder offering, which is the jealousy offering, while holding the bitter water that brings the curse:
And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover the woman's head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which {is} the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:
The priest will make her swear an oath and say, "If no dude has been with you and you haven’t been unfaithful, you’re straight with this bitter water:
And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness {with another} instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse: {with another...: or, being in the power of thy husband: Heb. under thy husband}
But if you’ve been sneaky with another guy instead of your husband, and you’re defiled, and some other dude has been with you, then it’s a whole different vibe: "
But if thou hast gone aside {to another} instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband:
The priest's gotta hit her with a curse oath, saying, "God's gonna turn you into a whole vibe of a curse among your people if your thigh starts rotting and your belly swells, no cap."
Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell; {rot: Heb. fall}
This curse water’s gonna hit your insides, making your belly swell and your thigh rot. The woman’s gotta say, "Amen, amen."
And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make {thy} belly to swell, and {thy} thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.
The priest's gonna write down these curses in a book and wipe them out with the bitter water, fr.
And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot {them} out with the bitter water:
He’s gonna make her drink that bitter water that brings the curse, and it’s gonna mess her up inside.
And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, {and become} bitter.
Then the priest's gonna take the jealousy offering from her hand, wave it before God, and lay it on the altar.
Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman's hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar:
The priest's gonna grab a handful of that offering, burn it on the altar, then make the woman drink the water, periodt.
And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, {even} the memorial thereof, and burn {it} upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water.
After she drinks, if she’s been shady and cheated on her husband, that curse water's gonna hit her hard, making her belly swell and thigh rot, and she’ll be a whole curse among her people.
And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, {that}, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, {and become} bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.
But if she’s clean and hasn’t been defiled, she’s good to go and can still have kids, lit.
And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.
This is the law for jealousy when a wife goes off to another dude instead of her husband and gets all messed up.
This {is} the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside {to another} instead of her husband, and is defiled;
Or when jealousy vibes hit him over his wife, and he brings her before God, the priest's gotta enforce all this law on her, no cap.
Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.
Bro, the dude’s off the hook for his wrongs, but this girl gotta own her stuff.
Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.