Numbers Chapter 14
So everyone was like, "OMG," and they started crying all night. Major vibes.
And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night.
The Israelites were low-key complaining about Moses and Aaron, saying, "We wish we just died back in Egypt or out here in the wild!"
And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron: and the whole congregation said unto them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!
They were like, "Why did God bring us here just to get wrecked? Our fams are gonna get taken out. Shouldn’t we just head back to Egypt?"
And wherefore hath the LORD brought us unto this land, to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? were it not better for us to return into Egypt?
Then they were like, "Yo, let’s choose a leader and bounce back to Egypt."
And they said one to another, Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt.
Moses and Aaron just hit the ground hard in front of everyone, totally shook.
Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the children of Israel.
Joshua and Caleb, who scoped out the land, were so shook they ripped their clothes.
And Joshua the son of Nun, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, {which were} of them that searched the land, rent their clothes:
They told the whole squad, "The land we checked out is seriously lit."
And they spake unto all the company of the children of Israel, saying, The land, which we passed through to search it, {is} an exceeding good land.
"If God’s into us, He’ll hook us up with this land, it’s straight-up flowing with milk and honey."
If the LORD delight in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it us; a land which floweth with milk and honey.
"Don’t be sus against God, and don’t sweat the locals; they’re basically snacks for us. God’s got our backs, so chill."
Only rebel not ye against the LORD, neither fear ye the people of the land; for they {are} bread for us: their defence is departed from them, and the LORD {is} with us: fear them not. {defence: Heb. shadow}
But the whole crew wanted to throw stones at them. Then the glory of the Lord showed up in the tent before everyone.
But all the congregation bade stone them with stones. And the glory of the LORD appeared in the tabernacle of the congregation before all the children of Israel.
God was like, "How long will these people keep testing my patience? When will they actually believe the vibes I've shown them?"
And the LORD said unto Moses, How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?
I'm about to hit them with some serious pestilence and dip them from my crew, then I'll make you a way bigger and stronger squad.
I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a greater nation and mightier than they.
Moses was like, "But the Egyptians are gonna hear about this, since you flexed hard bringing these people outta there."
And Moses said unto the LORD, Then the Egyptians shall hear {it}, (for thou broughtest up this people in thy might from among them;)
They'll spill the tea to everyone around here, 'cause they know you, Lord, are vibing with this crew, face to face, and your cloud is literally over them, guiding them day and night.
And they will tell {it} to the inhabitants of this land: {for} they have heard that thou LORD {art} among this people, that thou LORD art seen face to face, and {that} thy cloud standeth over them, and {that} thou goest before them, by day time in a pillar of a cloud, and in a pillar of fire by night.
If you wipe out this whole squad like one dude, all the nations will say,
Now {if} thou shalt kill {all} this people as one man, then the nations which have heard the fame of thee will speak, saying,
"The Lord couldn't get them into the promised land, so He just ghosted them in the wilderness."
Because the LORD was not able to bring this people into the land which he sware unto them, therefore he hath slain them in the wilderness.
Now, I’m begging you, let your power pop off, just like you said.
And now, I beseech thee, let the power of my Lord be great, according as thou hast spoken, saying,
The Lord is super chill and full of mercy, forgiving mistakes, but He doesn’t just let the guilty slide, keeping it real for generations.
The LORD {is} longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing {the guilty}, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth {generation}.
Please, I’m asking you to forgive these people based on your huge mercy, just like you’ve done since Egypt.
Pardon, I beseech thee, the iniquity of this people according unto the greatness of thy mercy, and as thou hast forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now. {until...: or, hitherto}
The Lord said, "I got you, I’ve pardoned them just like you asked."
And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word:
But fr, as long as I'm alive, the whole earth's gonna be lit with the glory of the Lord.
But {as} truly {as} I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD.
'Cause all those dudes who saw my glory and the crazy miracles I pulled in Egypt and the wild, they’ve tested me ten times and still didn’t listen to my vibe.
Because all those men which have seen my glory, and my miracles, which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have tempted me now these ten times, and have not hearkened to my voice;
No cap, they ain't seeing the land I promised their fam; those who provoked me are outta luck.
Surely they shall not see the land which I sware unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it: {Surely...: Heb. If they see the land}
But my guy Caleb, he had a different spirit and was all in with me, so I’m bringing him to the land he checked out; his crew is gonna own it.
But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.
(The Amalekites and Canaanites were chilling in the valley.) Tomorrow, bounce back and hit the wilderness by the Red Sea.
(Now the Amalekites and the Canaanites dwelt in the valley.) To morrow turn you, and get you into the wilderness by the way of the Red sea.
And the Lord hit up Moses and Aaron, saying,
And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,
How long am I gonna deal with this sus crew that’s always complaining? I’ve heard the whines of the kids of Israel, for real.
How long {shall I bear with} this evil congregation, which murmur against me? I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel, which they murmur against me.
Tell them, as long as I’m alive, says the Lord, what you’ve said in my ears, I’m gonna make it happen.
Say unto them, {As truly as} I live, saith the LORD, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:
Your bodies are gonna drop in this wilderness; all of you numbered from twenty and up who’ve complained against me are out.
Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward, which have murmured against me,
No doubt, you ain't stepping into the land I promised you, except for Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.
Doubtless ye shall not come into the land, {concerning} which I sware to make you dwell therein, save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and Joshua the son of Nun. {sware: Heb. lifted up my hand}
But your little ones that you thought would be easy prey? Nah, I'm bringing them in to peep the land you totally dissed.
But your little ones, which ye said should be a prey, them will I bring in, and they shall know the land which ye have despised.
As for you, your bodies are gonna drop in this wilderness, no cap.
But {as for} you, your carcases, they shall fall in this wilderness.
Your kids are gonna vibe in the wilderness for forty years, dealing with your mess, until you all fade away out here.
And your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years, and bear your whoredoms, until your carcases be wasted in the wilderness. {wander: or, feed}
After the days you scouted the land, which was forty days, each day equals a year, so you’ll carry your sins for forty years and see my promise was real.
After the number of the days in which ye searched the land, {even} forty days, each day for a year, shall ye bear your iniquities, {even} forty years, and ye shall know my breach of promise. {breach...: or, altering of my purpose}
I, the Lord, said it, and I’m gonna do it to this shady group that’s against me: they’ll be consumed in this wilderness and that’s where they’ll meet their end.
I the LORD have said, I will surely do it unto all this evil congregation, that are gathered together against me: in this wilderness they shall be consumed, and there they shall die.
And the guys Moses sent to check out the land? They came back and got everyone to complain, spreading lies about it.
And the men, which Moses sent to search the land, who returned, and made all the congregation to murmur against him, by bringing up a slander upon the land,
Those dudes who gave the bad report? They got hit with the plague before the Lord, savage.
Even those men that did bring up the evil report upon the land, died by the plague before the LORD.
But Joshua, the son of Nun, and Caleb, the son of Jephunneh, who were part of the squad that scoped the land, are still alive, fr.
But Joshua the son of Nun, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, {which were} of the men that went to search the land, lived {still}.
Moses shared all this with the Israelites, and the people were straight-up mourning.
And Moses told these sayings unto all the children of Israel: and the people mourned greatly.
They woke up early, climbed to the mountain top, saying, "We’re here and we’ll go to the spot the Lord promised, 'cause we messed up."
And they rose up early in the morning, and gat them up into the top of the mountain, saying, Lo, we {be here}, and will go up unto the place which the LORD hath promised: for we have sinned.
Moses was like, "Why you trippin' on God's commands? This ain't gonna end well, fr."
And Moses said, Wherefore now do ye transgress the commandment of the LORD? but it shall not prosper.
"Don't even think about it, fam. God ain't with you, and you'll get wrecked by your enemies."
Go not up, for the LORD {is} not among you; that ye be not smitten before your enemies.
"The Amalekites and Canaanites are ready to throw down, and if you bounce from God, you’re gonna get sliced up."
For the Amalekites and the Canaanites {are} there before you, and ye shall fall by the sword: because ye are turned away from the LORD, therefore the LORD will not be with you.
"But they were all like, 'We got this!' and tried to climb the hill, but the ark and Moses stayed chill in the camp."
But they presumed to go up unto the hill top: nevertheless the ark of the covenant of the LORD, and Moses, departed not out of the camp.
"Then the Amalekites and Canaanites rolled down and wrecked them all, leaving them shook all the way to Hormah."
Then the Amalekites came down, and the Canaanites which dwelt in that hill, and smote them, and discomfited them, {even} unto Hormah.