Leviticus Chapter 11
So God was like to Moses and Aaron, "Yo, pay attention."
And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying unto them,
Hit up the crew of Israel, "These are the beasts you can chow down on from all the animals on the earth."
Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, These {are} the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that {are} on the earth.
If it’s got a split hoof and chews cud, that’s your main snack choice.
Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, {and} cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat.
But skip these: camels chew cud but don’t have split hooves; they’re sus for you.
Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: {as} the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he {is} unclean unto you.
Same goes for coneys; they chew cud but lack split hooves, so they’re unclean, fam.
And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he {is} unclean unto you.
Hares are on that same wave; they chew cud but don’t have split hooves, so you should pass on them.
And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he {is} unclean unto you.
Pigs have split hooves but don’t chew cud; they’re a no-go for you, no cap.
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he {is} unclean to you.
Don’t eat their meat or mess with their dead bodies; they’re unclean, periodt.
Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they {are} unclean to you.
You can feast on whatever’s in the water that’s got fins and scales; that’s dope.
These shall ye eat of all that {are} in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
Anything that’s lacking fins and scales in the water is a total no; it’s an abomination, fr.
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which {is} in the waters, they {shall be} an abomination unto you:
Those creatures are just straight sus; don’t vibe with their meat, it’s off.
They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
If it’s got no fins or scales in the water, that’s a hard pass, fam.
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that {shall be} an abomination unto you.
Here’s the lineup of birds you need to steer clear of; they’re total abominations: eagle, ossifrage, and ospray, no cap.
And these {are they which} ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they {are} an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,
Also, the vulture and the kite? Keep them off your plate.
And the vulture, and the kite after his kind;
Every kind of raven? That’s a no-go, just saying.
Every raven after his kind;
The owl, night hawk, cuckoo, and hawk? Yeah, all sus too.
And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,
Little owl, cormorant, and great owl? No thanks, not for you.
And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,
Swans, pelicans, and gier eagles? Total abomination, fam.
And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle,
Storks, herons, lapwings, and bats? Just don’t even consider it.
And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
Any birds that crawl on all fours? Straight no from me, chief.
All fowls that creep, going upon {all} four, {shall be} an abomination unto you.
You can munch on any flying creature that hops around on four legs, just vibin' on the earth.
Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon {all} four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;
For real, you can eat these: locusts, bald locusts, beetles, and grasshoppers, all in their own lane.
{Even} these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.
But for any other flying creatures with four legs? Major sus, don’t even touch those.
But all {other} flying creeping things, which have four feet, {shall be} an abomination unto you.
If you touch any of these, you’re unclean, fam, until the evening vibes hit.
And for these ye shall be unclean: whosoever toucheth the carcase of them shall be unclean until the even.
And if you carry any of their dead bodies, better wash your clothes, you’ll be unclean until the evening too.
And whosoever beareth {ought} of the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
Any beast that splits the hoof but isn't cloven-footed or chews cud? Straight unclean for you, fr.
{The carcases} of every beast which divideth the hoof, and {is} not clovenfooted, nor cheweth the cud, {are} unclean unto you: every one that toucheth them shall be unclean.
If it walks on paws, any beast on four legs is unclean, so if you touch their carcass, you’ll be unclean till evening.
And whatsoever goeth upon his paws, among all manner of beasts that go on {all} four, those {are} unclean unto you: whoso toucheth their carcase shall be unclean until the even.
If you carry their carcass, wash your threads, and you’ll be unclean till evening: they’re unclean for you.
And he that beareth the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: they {are} unclean unto you.
Also, these creeping things are unclean: weasels, mice, and tortoises, all in their own vibe.
These also {shall be} unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise after his kind,
Plus ferrets, chameleons, lizards, snails, and moles, all chilling in the unclean squad.
And the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole.
These critters are sus for you; if you touch them when they're dead, you’re unclean until evening, no cap.
These {are} unclean to you among all that creep: whosoever doth touch them, when they be dead, shall be unclean until the even.
Whatever they touch when dead is also unclean; if it’s wood, clothes, or bags, just toss it in water and it’s still unclean until evening; then it’s all good.
And upon whatsoever {any} of them, when they are dead, doth fall, it shall be unclean; whether {it be} any vessel of wood, or raiment, or skin, or sack, whatsoever vessel {it be}, wherein {any} work is done, it must be put into water, and it shall be unclean until the even; so it shall be cleansed.
If any of them drop into a clay pot, everything inside is unclean; you gotta break that pot, fam.
And every earthen vessel, whereinto {any} of them falleth, whatsoever {is} in it shall be unclean; and ye shall break it.
Any food touched by that water is unclean; drinks in those vessels? Also unclean, fr.
Of all meat which may be eaten, {that} on which {such} water cometh shall be unclean: and all drink that may be drunk in every {such} vessel shall be unclean.
Anything that their dead body touches is unclean; whether it's an oven or stove, just break it down, it’s savage to keep.
And every {thing} whereupon {any part} of their carcase falleth shall be unclean; {whether it be} oven, or ranges for pots, they shall be broken down: {for} they {are} unclean, and shall be unclean unto you.
But a fountain or pit with fresh water is clean; just don’t let it touch their dead body, that’s sus.
Nevertheless a fountain or pit, {wherein there is} plenty of water, shall be clean: but that which toucheth their carcase shall be unclean. {wherein...: Heb. a gathering together of waters}
If any part of their dead body falls on seeds meant for planting, those seeds are clean, periodt.
And if {any part} of their carcase fall upon any sowing seed which is to be sown, it {shall be} clean.
But if water gets on those seeds and then their dead body falls on it, it’s unclean for you, bet.
But if {any} water be put upon the seed, and {any part} of their carcase fall thereon, it {shall be} unclean unto you.
If any animal you can eat dies, whoever touches that dead body is unclean until evening, no cap.
And if any beast, of which ye may eat, die; he that toucheth the carcase thereof shall be unclean until the even.
Whoever eats from that dead body has to wash their clothes and will be unclean until evening; same goes for anyone carrying it, fr.
And he that eateth of the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: he also that beareth the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
All them creepy crawlers on the earth? Major sus, don’t eat that.
And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth {shall be} an abomination; it shall not be eaten.
If it slithers on its belly or has four legs, just know it’s a no-go; that’s abomination vibes.
Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon {all} four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they {are} an abomination. {hath...: Heb. doth multiply feet}
Don’t catch those bad vibes from any creepy thing, keep it clean, fam.
Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby. {yourselves abominable: Heb. your souls, etc}
I’m your Lord God, so keep it holy, fr; no creepy crawlers allowed in your life.
For I {am} the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I {am} holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
I pulled you outta Egypt to be your God, so stay holy, ‘cause I’m holy, periodt.
For I {am} the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I {am} holy.
This is the full vibe check for beasts, birds, and all living things in the water and on land.
This {is} the law of the beasts, and of the fowl, and of every living creature that moveth in the waters, and of every creature that creepeth upon the earth:
Time to figure out what’s clean and what’s sus, like what you can vibe with and what you can’t.
To make a difference between the unclean and the clean, and between the beast that may be eaten and the beast that may not be eaten.