Judges Chapter 18
Way back when, Israel didn’t have a king, and the Danites were on the hunt for a place to chill because they hadn’t snagged any land yet, no cap.
In those days {there was} no king in Israel: and in those days the tribe of the Danites sought them an inheritance to dwell in; for unto that day {all their} inheritance had not fallen unto them among the tribes of Israel.
So, the fam from Dan sent a squad of five hype dudes from Zorah and Eshtaol to scope out the land; they were like, “Yo, go check it out!” They crashed at Micah's spot in Ephraim.
And the children of Dan sent of their family five men from their coasts, men of valour, from Zorah, and from Eshtaol, to spy out the land, and to search it; and they said unto them, Go, search the land: who when they came to mount Ephraim, to the house of Micah, they lodged there. {men of: Heb. sons of}
When they rolled up to Micah's crib, they peeped the Levite’s voice and were like, “Ayo, who brought you here? What’s popping?”
When they {were} by the house of Micah, they knew the voice of the young man the Levite: and they turned in thither, and said unto him, Who brought thee hither? and what makest thou in this {place}? and what hast thou here?
He replied, “Micah’s got me on the payroll, and I’m his priest, fam.”
And he said unto them, Thus and thus dealeth Micah with me, and hath hired me, and I am his priest.
They asked him, “Can you holla at God for some intel so we know if this mission's gonna be a vibe?”
And they said unto him, Ask counsel, we pray thee, of God, that we may know whether our way which we go shall be prosperous.
The priest was like, “Roll out in peace; the Lord’s got your back on this quest, fr.”
And the priest said unto them, Go in peace: before the LORD {is} your way wherein ye go.
Then the five dipped to Laish and peeped the chill folks living their best lives, super laid back like the Zidonians, no stress, no one to keep them in check.
Then the five men departed, and came to Laish, and saw the people that {were} therein, how they dwelt careless, after the manner of the Zidonians, quiet and secure; and {there was} no magistrate in the land, that might put {them} to shame in {any} thing; and they {were} far from the Zidonians, and had no business with {any} man. {Laish: also called, Leshem} {magistrate: Heb. possessor, or, heir of restraints}
They cruised back to Zorah and Eshtaol, and their crew was like, “What’s the scoop?”
And they came unto their brethren to Zorah and Eshtaol: and their brethren said unto them, What {say} ye?
They said, “Let’s bounce and go at them! The land is fire; don’t sleep on this, let’s make it happen!”
And they said, Arise, that we may go up against them: for we have seen the land, and, behold, it {is} very good: and {are} ye still? be not slothful to go, {and} to enter to possess the land.
When you head out, you’ll find a secure vibe and a huge land; God’s handing it to you, no shortage of anything, periodt.
When ye go, ye shall come unto a people secure, and to a large land: for God hath given it into your hands; a place where {there is} no want of any thing that {is} in the earth.
So, six hundred Danites rolled out from Zorah and Eshtaol, all geared up for battle. Savage squad goals.
And there went from thence of the family of the Danites, out of Zorah and out of Eshtaol, six hundred men appointed with weapons of war. {appointed: Heb. girded}
They pulled in and set up camp in Kirjath-jearim, Judah, and named the spot Mahaneh-dan. Still vibing there now, fr.
And they went up, and pitched in Kirjathjearim, in Judah: wherefore they called that place Mahanehdan unto this day: behold, {it is} behind Kirjathjearim.
Then they cruised over to Mount Ephraim and hit up Micah's spot.
And they passed thence unto mount Ephraim, and came unto the house of Micah.
The five scouts who checked Laish were like, "Yo, did you know there’s an ephod, teraphim, and some sick idols in those houses? Think about your next move."
Then answered the five men that went to spy out the country of Laish, and said unto their brethren, Do ye know that there is in these houses an ephod, and teraphim, and a graven image, and a molten image? now therefore consider what ye have to do.
They turned and pulled up to the Levite's pad, Micah's crib, and gave him a nod.
And they turned thitherward, and came to the house of the young man the Levite, {even} unto the house of Micah, and saluted him. {saluted...: Heb. asked him of peace}
The six hundred warriors from Dan were chilling by the gate, weapons at the ready.
And the six hundred men appointed with their weapons of war, which {were} of the children of Dan, stood by the entering of the gate.
The five spies went in, grabbed the idols, ephod, and teraphim while the priest was posted up at the gate with the six hundred.
And the five men that went to spy out the land went up, {and} came in thither, {and} took the graven image, and the ephod, and the teraphim, and the molten image: and the priest stood in the entering of the gate with the six hundred men {that were} appointed with weapons of war.
They hit Micah’s crib, snagged the carved idol, ephod, and teraphim. The priest was like, "What’s popping?"
And these went into Micah's house, and fetched the carved image, the ephod, and the teraphim, and the molten image. Then said the priest unto them, What do ye?
They told him, "Shh, chill, keep it down, roll with us, and be our priest. Is it better to serve one dude or be a priest for a whole tribe in Israel?"
And they said unto him, Hold thy peace, lay thine hand upon thy mouth, and go with us, and be to us a father and a priest: {is it} better for thee to be a priest unto the house of one man, or that thou be a priest unto a tribe and a family in Israel?
The priest was hyped, snatched the ephod, teraphim, and the idol, and dipped with the crew.
And the priest's heart was glad, and he took the ephod, and the teraphim, and the graven image, and went in the midst of the people.
So they bounced and took the little ones, the cattle, and the ride in front, no cap.
So they turned and departed, and put the little ones and the cattle and the carriage before them.
When they were vibing far from Micah's crib, the peeps near his place gathered up and caught up with the Dan squad.
{And} when they were a good way from the house of Micah, the men that {were} in the houses near to Micah's house were gathered together, and overtook the children of Dan.
They shouted at the Dan crew, and they turned around, asking Micah, "What’s the vibe? Why you rolling with all these people?"
And they cried unto the children of Dan. And they turned their faces, and said unto Micah, What aileth thee, that thou comest with such a company? {comest...: Heb. art gathered together?}
Micah was like, "Y’all took my gods I made, plus my priest, and now I’m left hanging. What’s good? Why you asking me what's wrong?"
And he said, Ye have taken away my gods which I made, and the priest, and ye are gone away: and what have I more? and what {is} this {that} ye say unto me, What aileth thee?
The Dan crew told him, "Keep it down, or some angry homies might come for you, and you’ll lose your life and your fam’s too."
And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. {angry: Heb. bitter of soul}
The Dan crew bounced, and when Micah saw they were too lit for him, he turned back toward his place.
And the children of Dan went their way: and when Micah saw that they {were} too strong for him, he turned and went back unto his house.
They snatched up Micah's things and his priest, rolled up to Laish, a chill spot, and lit it up with the sword and fire.
And they took {the things} which Micah had made, and the priest which he had, and came unto Laish, unto a people {that were} at quiet and secure: and they smote them with the edge of the sword, and burnt the city with fire.
Nobody was there to save them since it was mad far from Zidon, and they had no dealings with anyone; it was in the valley by Beth-rehob. They built a city and settled in.
And {there was} no deliverer, because it {was} far from Zidon, and they had no business with {any} man; and it was in the valley that {lieth} by Bethrehob. And they built a city, and dwelt therein.
They named the city Dan after their pops, Dan, who was born to Israel, but it used to be called Laish.
And they called the name of the city Dan, after the name of Dan their father, who was born unto Israel: howbeit the name of the city {was} Laish at the first.
The Dan crew set up the graven image, and Jonathan, son of Gershom, son of Manasseh, and his fam were priests for Dan until the land got taken.
And the children of Dan set up the graven image: and Jonathan, the son of Gershom, the son of Manasseh, he and his sons were priests to the tribe of Dan until the day of the captivity of the land.
They set up Micah’s dope statue that he crafted while the house of God was chilling in Shiloh.
And they set them up Micah's graven image, which he made, all the time that the house of God was in Shiloh.