Judges Chapter 13
The Israelites were acting mad sus, doing evil in the sight of God, so He let the Philistines mess them up for forty years.
And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD delivered them into the hand of the Philistines forty years. {did evil...: Heb. added to commit, etc}
So there was this guy named Manoah from Zorah, part of the Dan crew, and his wife was totally unable to have kids, fr.
And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name {was} Manoah; and his wife {was} barren, and bare not.
Then an angel of the Lord showed up to her and was like, 'Yo, you’re barren right now, but you about to have a son, no cap.'
And the angel of the LORD appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou {art} barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.
So peep this, don’t drink any wine or hard stuff, and avoid any unclean things, periodt.
Now therefore beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean {thing}:
You’re gonna have a son, and no blade will ever touch his head ‘cause he’s gonna be a Nazarite for God from day one, and he’ll kick off the rescue for Israel from the Philistines.
For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.
The woman dashed back to her husband and said, 'A man of God came to me, and his vibe was like an angel, super intense, but I didn’t catch his name.'
Then the woman came and told her husband, saying, A man of God came unto me, and his countenance {was} like the countenance of an angel of God, very terrible: but I asked him not whence he {was}, neither told he me his name:
He told me, 'You’re about to have a son, so don’t drink any wine or strong stuff, and keep it clean, ‘cause he’s a Nazarite for God from the womb till he’s grown.'
But he said unto me, Behold, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and now drink no wine nor strong drink, neither eat any unclean {thing}: for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb to the day of his death.
Manoah was like, 'God, can you send that dude again to school us on how to raise this kid that's on the way?'
Then Manoah intreated the LORD, and said, O my Lord, let the man of God which thou didst send come again unto us, and teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born.
God heard Manoah, and the angel reappeared while the woman was chilling out in the field, but Manoah was out of the loop.
And God hearkened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again unto the woman as she sat in the field: but Manoah her husband {was} not with her.
The woman couldn’t wait, ran to her husband, and said, 'Yo, that man who came before is back!'
And the woman made haste, and ran, and shewed her husband, and said unto him, Behold, the man hath appeared unto me, that came unto me the {other} day.
Manoah got up and followed his wife, asking the man, 'Are you the one who spoke to her?' And the man said, 'That’s me.'
And Manoah arose, and went after his wife, and came to the man, and said unto him, {Art} thou the man that spakest unto the woman? And he said, I {am}.
Manoah was like, 'Bet, let’s make sure what you said goes down. How do we raise this child?'
And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and {how} shall we do unto him? {How shall we order...: Heb. What shall be the manner of the, etc} {how shall we do...: or, what shall he do?: Heb. what shall be his work?}
The angel replied to Manoah, 'Just make sure your wife sticks to everything I told her.'
And the angel of the LORD said unto Manoah, Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware.
She can’t eat anything from the vine, no wine or strong drinks, and keep it all clean; just make sure it’s all good, aight?
She may not eat of any {thing} that cometh of the vine, neither let her drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean {thing}: all that I commanded her let her observe.
Manoah was like, 'Can we keep you around? We’ll prep a goat for you.'
And Manoah said unto the angel of the LORD, I pray thee, let us detain thee, until we shall have made ready a kid for thee. {for thee: Heb. before thee}
The angel was like, 'Even if you try to have me stay, I’m not eating your food. If you wanna offer something, it needs to be for the Lord.' Manoah didn’t even clock he was talking to an angel.
And the angel of the LORD said unto Manoah, Though thou detain me, I will not eat of thy bread: and if thou wilt offer a burnt offering, thou must offer it unto the LORD. For Manoah knew not that he {was} an angel of the LORD.
Manoah asked, 'What’s your name, so we can show you some respect when your words come to life?'
And Manoah said unto the angel of the LORD, What {is} thy name, that when thy sayings come to pass we may do thee honour?
The angel said, 'Why you wanna know my name? It’s kinda classified, you feel me?'
And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Why askest thou thus after my name, seeing it {is} secret? {secret: or, wonderful}
So Manoah got a goat and a grain offering and laid it on a rock for the Lord, and the angel did some wild stuff; Manoah and his wife were totally shook.
So Manoah took a kid with a meat offering, and offered {it} upon a rock unto the LORD: and {the angel} did wondrously; and Manoah and his wife looked on.
When the flames shot up to the heavens from the altar, the angel went up in the fire, and Manoah and his wife were like, 'Whoa!' and fell down.
For it came to pass, when the flame went up toward heaven from off the altar, that the angel of the LORD ascended in the flame of the altar. And Manoah and his wife looked on {it}, and fell on their faces to the ground.
After that, the angel didn’t come back, and Manoah figured out he was dealing with an angel of the Lord.
But the angel of the LORD did no more appear to Manoah and to his wife. Then Manoah knew that he {was} an angel of the LORD.
Manoah told his wife, 'We’re definitely gonna die ‘cause we saw God.'
And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have seen God.
But his wife was like, 'If God wanted us dead, He wouldn’t have accepted our offerings or shown us all this crazy stuff.'
But his wife said unto him, If the LORD were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have shewed us all these {things}, nor would as at this time have told us {such things} as these.
The woman had a son and named him Samson; the kid grew up, and God totally blessed him, no cap.
And the woman bare a son, and called his name Samson: and the child grew, and the LORD blessed him.
The Spirit of the Lord started moving him in the Dan camp between Zorah and Eshtaol, and it was lit.
And the Spirit of the LORD began to move him at times in the camp of Dan between Zorah and Eshtaol. {the camp...: Heb. Mahanehdan}